To not go away because I'll miss my daughter too much.
Chickenwings85 · 23/09/2018 22:10
Me and DP have had a few days break booked for months, to go away with an other couple. Our daughter is 8 and has known about it too. We've been away without her before and it's been ok.
We're due to go to Devon tomorrow and me and my DP have both said we will miss our DD too much and very unsure about going now. When we come back we will have a week with her and then she goes off to Scotland for 5 days with her grandparents to see my nieces and sister.
I'm so torn about what the hell to do. I know my daughter will be safe at her grandparents and is always spoilt rotten when shes there. I know she's going to miss us as she keeps saying she will, that is making our choice even harder to make. What would you all do?
redastherose · 23/09/2018 22:15
Definitely go. It's good for you to have a break as a couple not just parents and she will be fine with her grandparents.
AnoukSpirit · 23/09/2018 22:24
Have you had any of your conversations about how much you'll miss her in front of your DD? Because that won't have helped.
If you're both positive and enthusiastic about it - "looking forward to hearing about the fun things you did with your grandparents" - then she will be too.
If you keep being anxious about missing her, then so will she.
Just go. She's at the age where she'll be starting to be offered residential trips through school and other orgs, so you might as well start getting comfortable with it now on your own terms.
AnoukSpirit · 23/09/2018 22:28
I'm writing that as someone who's taken groups of children away at that age. The ones whose parents parted with variations of "I'm going to miss you so much" or obvious sadness/anxiety were the ones whose children struggled on the first night with missing them.
Llanali · 23/09/2018 22:34
Bloody hell, just go.
What if you had to work away? This is a well earned break presumably. Your daughter is going to have a great time. As will you.
Mine had a wobble tonight, as I’m off again for another week, but she will be ok by tomorrow morning. And when I see her next Saturday she will be full of tales from school and time with daddy.
Sleeplikeasloth · 23/09/2018 22:42
Go. It's also really unfair on the other couple to bail so late.
RubyFlint · 23/09/2018 22:48
It might help to remember why you originally planned this trip? Honestly your DD will be fine but I do wonder why you’ve arranged this if you struggle to be away from her.
PiperPublickOccurrences · 23/09/2018 22:52
Jeezo. Just go. All this drama about "i'll miss my daughter soooooo much" is way over the top. This is what makes clingy, needy children who can't cope with residential trips and guide camps, because their mum has built being away from home into this massive, scary thing.
In the nicest way possible - get a life.
PiperPublickOccurrences · 23/09/2018 22:58
Tam - I am assuming the grandparents live close by so that the daughter can still go to school. Or grandparents move into OP's house while she's in Devon.
RiverTam · 23/09/2018 23:02
And 5 days in Scotland in a week or so? It’s not half term yet!
JayDot500 · 23/09/2018 23:03
You should go, but I definitely understand where you're coming from. My son is only 2, but DH and I would feel the same.
Gingercarrier · 23/09/2018 23:04
Just go! You'll have a great time as will she. From what you say she isn't expressing any issues over it so don't pass on your anxieties
myheartsjourney · 23/09/2018 23:05
This is what makes clingy, needy children who can't cope with residential trips and guide camps, because their mum has built being away from home into this massive, scary thing.
I agree. I remember a girl at my school was like this, constantly crying whilst we were away - to the point her parents had to come and collect her from residential trips. One of these was when she was 12/13.
viques · 23/09/2018 23:08
One of the aims we have for our children is that they will be strong, resilient, independent adults. That doesn't happen overnight, you have to help them to develop those skills by giving them safe supportive spaces to experience them.
You are helping your daughter to grow. She is ready and happy for you to go away ,so do it.
Chickenwings85 · 23/09/2018 23:56
Thank you all for your replies.
Yes she will still be going to school as my parents live in the same town as me. In front of my DD, my DP and I are really positive and get her excited for her break at nan and grandad house, we say to her that they're looking forward to having her (which then really are, then dote on her) my younger and brother and his girlfriend still live at home too and they're both daft with her, as you can imagine!
I know I've come across as a wet blanket but DD has had a bloody hard time of things since she was born, it's only the last year or so that her confidence has grown massively and shes fast becoming a fantastic young lady. Shes been allowed the time off school to go to Scotland because it's under exceptional circumstances and her attendance is spot on for the rest of the school year.
Thank you for giving me the boot up the arse that I very much needed. Sometimes the advice and harsh words from strangers are exactly what's needed sometimes.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.