To wonder how you deal with this

[Purpletowel]

I genuinely would like some ideas because I find this pretty stressful.

MIL will NOT stop offering food. I’m sure some people will think I’m being ridiculous.

We go there every other Sunday. Sunday lunches are huge. I have a big appetite and I’ve eaten until I’m stuffed and my plate still looks like it hasn’t been touched.

I can be eating with my mouth full and she’ll start loading up my plate with potatoes and carrots and parsnips. I’ve had to do a frantic ‘no more!’ gesture with my arms.

She also feeds the DC constantly.

When we are just sat around chatting it’s always about food and drink. You say ‘how is your garden MIL?’ She answers briefly and then asks who wants tea, or cake, or biscuits.

She doesn’t accept no thanks.

DH was really badly overweight as a kid.

It’s driving me fucking nuts.

Personally, I would stop going. I really would.

Yep, stop visiting. Meet her in a place where you control what you eat and drink, out somewhere.

Does MIL eat alot or is she just constantly giving other people food?

Invite her to yours instead?

Mine is exactly the same! She constantly talks about food or offers food. I wouldn't mind but her, my FIL and husband are all stick thin I'm not! From the minute we walk in there's food in front of us or we're being asked. I've started saying just 'no' bluntly as she doesn't take no thanks!

Meet her on your own and talk frankly but kindly to her about the impact of her over-feeding. It is clearly a way of showing love and needs careful handling so she doesn’t feel rejected.

But you mustn’t eat anything you don’t want to eat.

My MIL is like this but in another way

I am Asian and a lot of our regional dishes are build your own, condiments, chutneys etc

She’s always looking over my shoulder ‘User why don’t you add more of this, it will taste nicer’
‘No thanks’
‘User add more of this sauce it’s looks dry - let me put some in’
‘No thanks I prefer it this way’
On and on she goes

I’m glad selfishly it isn’t just me.

I find it VERY stressful tbh.

My mother in law is like this. It is a way of expressing love. I have developed some strategies over the years.
-don't feel obliged to eat it all. She can fill your plate but you don't have to eat it. Just say no as they said in Grange Hill.
-if she allows people to help themselves then only put a quarter of what you intend to eat on your plate. You can then have second and third helpings without over filling yourself.
Good luck.

I'd be as bothered by having an obligation to go anywhere every Sunday to be honest. What does your husband think?

Just leave the food on the plate. Dont finish it

My sil is like this. Lucky I love her soooo much 😂
I’ve had a gastric bypass and she allllllways says ‘is that all you’re eating?’ Or ‘oh why aren’t you eating that cake?’ Etc
I think with her it’s a nervous thing