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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want financial security

5 replies

Oopupsideyourhead · 23/09/2018 09:34

I have 2 kids with my DP and we have been together a long time (17 year)- he’s older than me in that I am mid 40s and he’s mid 50s. When we first got together, we saved for a house but were never able to buy one due to prices rising faster than we could save.
Then he lost his job & all our savings went. And we now find ourselves renting which obviously isn’t unusual but i am tired of it.
I am fairly sensible with money- I have a good pension plan, life insurance for the kids and a big death in service payment from my work. Saving is hard as rent is high but I am trying to make some provision for my kids to my best ability. I earn 40k.
He has nothing and has done nothing to give me any security should anything happen to him. He is a worker & works hard but in terms of bigger financial security for his family, we just end up arguing as he’s useless.
Things are pretty bad generally in the relationship- I think really I am only still here because it would devastate my kids but I want some security.
My Dad has given me 15k as a house deposit but I can’t borrow enough on my own and DP can’t get a mortgage cos of his age.
I just feel so depressed about it all- all my friends are sorted in houses with more security and yet I feel stuck in this insecure life with only the prospect of it getting worse.

Aibu to want financial security for me & my kids? I just don’t know what to do.

OP posts:
MrsChuckBass · 23/09/2018 19:21

Not unreasonable at all.
Have you looked into shared ownership as a way to get on the property ladder? Cheaper areas/smaller properties?
Is it a deal breaker for you that DH isn't bothered about financial security? If he's mid 50s how many years has he got left of working?

HellenaHandbasket · 23/09/2018 19:22

Could you buy somewhere small as a buy to let? In your name only.

MrsPatmore · 23/09/2018 19:25

Several banks will lend to 70 years old.

dimsum123 · 23/09/2018 19:28

Has he found another job?

YANBU at all. Can you move to somewhere with lower rent?

Nenic · 23/09/2018 19:30

We got a mortgage when DH was in his 50’s but we put down a large deposit and over 10 years

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