To be irritated by my ndn

[Dollymixture22]

This is a really minor thing I know but my ndn are really starting to piss me off.

They moved in a couple of years ago. On day one I came home from work and their removal van had pulled down some branches in the shared driveway. No big deal .... but they preceded to drive in and out over the branches making a mess. After two day I went out and cleared it. He stood at his window watching me. On day three they had someone round with a power drill at 11pm on a weeknight.

Since then it’s been minor irritations. They have no carpets or rugs upstairs and laminate floors downstairs. I can hear every footstep and every conversation. They have very loud arguements and very loud make up sessions late at night. Wake me constantly. Bed waking off the shared wall. I let myself down once and hammered the wall at 3am when he burst into loud song.

I spent Ages reseeding my front lawn after the drought. I looked out the window to see a van parked on my lawn collecting rubbish from next door. She was chatting away to the driver as if nothing was amiss. I was just out of the shower and by the time I was dressed they were away. My lawn had tire marks which I had to reseed and of course I had to pick up bits of rubbish which were strewn on my lawn. They just walked in and out passed it.

Lawn bounced back, next doors had some work on their driveway and they washed the cement powder stuff into my garden. yellow patch of dead grass. Again.

I could go on and on. And I think I have🤣

I know these are all examples of minor things and people have much worse. I keep smiling and saying hello because I don’t want a feud with neighbours over silly things - but can they possibly by this oblivious. They see me out cleaning the shared driveway all the time, but never offer to help or even pick up a crisp packet.

Sorry, first world problem. But it is making me increasingly angry. I have been ill and I am worried I am fixating on this and blowing it out of proportion. Would this irritate anyone else?

Wouldn't bother me too much. How much rubbish gets on the driveway
My ndn is an absolute perfectionist and her garden is gorgeous, I've got two footballing children... neighbours built a higher fence. Boys had never kicked a ball over but she said she was worried about her plants, I get that
Live and let live 👍

Thanks vodka. Maybe I am being too precious. For the record balls form kids don’t bother me at all. It’s more that I feel ndn are being inconsiderate, I don’t vacuum or listen to music after 8 so not to disturb. Keep noise down in morning because they aren’t up early. There was a week a few months ago when they woke me every night arguing. I could be their couples counsellor I know so much about their (very very dull) problems!!

Maybe I should just take a leave out of their book and not care so much!

"They see me out cleaning the shared driveway all the time,"

This struck me. I've had to clean my driveway maybe twice in my life (I'm 50 years old).
Are you a bit of a perfectionist?

If you're going to live amongst other people you need to accommodate their peculiarities. Let it go.

iPad ar surrouded by trees and the dipppribeway gets full of leaves in the autumn. If if they aren’t raked up it turns into a big slippery mess. Mother last neighbour and I shared the work. I did it alone when new peopl arrived, then I was sick for a last autumn and it didn’t get done. It is now full of weeds and mo

Oops computer malfunctioned and loads of typos!

Drive way was full of leaves, I missed some clearing because I was sick so it was then full of weeds of moss. I have been clearing that up. Probably just missing old neighbours who shared the maintainamce. I run the lights, don’t mind but old neighbours would have replaced bulbs etc. New neighbours leave it all to me.

I am probably just not fully better yet and I am taking this too 😒.
.coming across as a pain in the ass neighbour myself.

Can you put up a small fence for the lawn? Doesn't need to be huge, but even ankle height would stop anyone driving on it.

And then one of ear plugs, and you're sorted, no? I know it's not ideal, but it's a relatively pain free solution if you want to avoid any confrontation.

Fence would be a good idea. And ear plugs!

Might get a louder alarm clock. My own little pathetic revenge!!!

I think some of this is you being a little over sensitive, and some you can action on.

So if they argue late at night, not much you can do, but loud make up sessions...
I would go round next morning and say - sorry to bother you but don't know if you realise we can hear your bed banging against our wall? Just wondered if you could avoid waking us at 2 am?
Polite, but factual.

As to shared drive, maybe try and chat one day and say that the drive is shared and does need a bit of maintenance, as they are so much fitter than you, perhaps they could take turn clearing up leaves?

If you don't ask, you won't get anything. You may ask and get nothing, but at least you have tried.

Steppemum you are right. I agave been home a lot more since I have been ill and things have been getting me down. I am normally really fit and energetic so it’s been a bit annoying.

They are obsessive about the part of the driveway which they own exclusively -it’s much tidier than mine. So I suppose I have been annoyed they don’t help out a bit more in the significantly larger shared space. They are a young couple, and even watched as ouR very elderly neighbour helped me move the fence which have fallen over into the drive, I suppose I find the whole thing a bit odd.

But I know I am focusing on little stuff at the moment. I just need to finish my trestment and get back to normal!! And stop being a curtain twitcher. I am a (much younger) miss mangle!!

You could try mentioning things to them when you get a chance to chat in the street, see if they become more considerate.

If you are not making noise at night then your ndn might not realise you can hear them. If they can only hear slight noise or nothing from you they might think that is what you hear from them, not knowing you are being thoughtful and quiet. I suggest you don't go out of your way to be quiet for them, especially in the mornings, let them realise how much can be heard between the houses.

Failing them being reasonable. If they carry on damaging your lawn make it clear to them not to do it, it is not right it should cost you money to repair. Any chance of putting a wall/fence or similar up if needed?

Any rubbish they leave on your lawn/shared drive, dump in front of their door. See if they get the message.

They don't seem to be being considerate neighbours and you shouldn't have to put up with it so much. If it was a one-off then it is liveable with, but often - you shouldn't have to cope with.

If you want to emphasize the noise problem, if you go on holiday/away for a few days you could set up a sound system on a timer for three hours between 3am and 6am in your bedroom and point the speakers towards their house then play some Spice Girls on repeat at them.

THank’s deathly! While I don’t think I could do th music thing I will start to make normal amounts of noise. See how they like it!

I think I am too uptight, but they also aren’t particularly good neighbours, I am settling over little things

They sound selfish and inconsiderate. Certainly cease to tiptoe around if you get up earlier than them. And fully agree on having polite words and taking action on things like dumping their rubbish at their door.

I think you need to communicate with them - they probably don't realise certain things and think you are happy to do x, z, y. If you want them to help with something then ask them. It might seem counterintuitive if you don't like them much, but a cuppa and a chat can be useful.