To feel a bit embarrassed that my daughter has to have her surgery done under bariatrics because of her weight?

[trestcool]

My daughter is an adult by the way. She is having surgery but is too heavy to have it done at a normal hospital and has been referred to one with bariatrics. When people ask about why she's at that hospital, I feel very awkward giving the reason. Is this normal?

Don’t give the reason, there’s no requirement to. Just say that’s where it’s being done, no other information needs to be shared.

It's far away, so they always ask why.

Well no one needs to be told anything, your daughters an adult it’s her personal business if she wishes to tell people she can. They are just being nosey!

Why do people even need to know she is having surgury its no ones buisness

I don't think it's your business to share details of your daughters medical history with others.

Maybe you should feel more awkward about discussing your adult daughter’s private medical details?

Sorry but why would you feel embarrassed that your daughter is over weight? I'm fat - it's not something my mum should be embarrassed about??

Men. Just shrug and deny all knowledge of the reasons why. You aren't a doctor so how should you know. ?

You can opt for treatment at different hospitals, so I don't see your issue. Just say that they had a surgical bed available before your closer Hospital did.

If they want to Gossip, then leave them to it. If your Daughter is heavy enough to come under Bariatric, then it is obvious anyway that she is Obese.

Do they not know your daughter is overweight?

Just say it's to do with her intestines or something vague like that. And stop telling people altogether.

People have very poor manners. She is clearly st a certain hospital beciase it specialises in her treatment, that is common sense. Asking was this treatment is is nosey and intrusive.

Miss manners is great in this. If someone ask a personal question you don’t want to ask simply give them a puzzled look and say ‘why do you ask’. They will drop it

Just say it's a specialist that's not available locally. 🤷‍♀️

Just say it's a specialist that's not available locally. 🤷‍♀️

There you go, problem solved. 😊

If they carry on say you can't go around discussing your daughters health.

If they are close family and you really feel the need to tell them say it's a gastric problem but you don't know what.

BTW My guess is that everyone has guessed what it is anyway and they are just being extra nosy.

People will know that she's overweight just by looking at her so I don't see the problem with you just answering their questions honestly really.

Nutella people don’t have a right to other people’s medical information. OP can share her own medical information with as many nosey f#ckers as she wants but not her daughters.

I am not the only person her who is a bit taken aback at the lack of privacy and respected being demonstrated here.

Dollymixture22 who's talking about rights? Presumably these 'nosey fuckers' as you so nicely refer to them are concerned friends and family of ops and just a casual but truthful explanation is all that's needed.

It's nobody else's business and frankly, the fact that you're posting about it here and worrying about how YOU are going to handle it, is really shit. I'd worry more about your daughter's welfare, and less about your own embarrassment. 🙄

Sorry but why would you feel embarrassed that your daughter is over weight? I'm fat - it's not something my mum should be embarrassed about??
Exactly this.I don't understand why people have to be so covert and so defensive about friends and family asking a simple question.Her daughter's overweight,which last time I checked was not a criminal offence.

Nutella, people are asking the mother why her daughter is attending a certain hospital. We don’t know who these people are, however it seems obvious if they were close to daughter they would already know.

There is no need to answer this question, and OP should check with daughter before she releases any medical information. It sounds like OP is casually chatting to people about the distance to the hospital and people are asking why she has to go there. There is absolutely no need to provide this i formation.

I wasn’t talking about legal rights I wa merely telling op that she doesn’t have to talk about her daughters weight. In fact I go a step further and say she shouldn’t without permissions, it’s not specific to weight, it personal information and everyone has a right to privacy. There I talked about rights again. But I don’t think I mean it in the same emotive way you seem to.

It's nobody else's business and frankly, the fact that you're posting about it here and worrying about how YOU are going to handle it, is really shit.

That's completely unnecessary. Some people wouldn't want this information shared and the OP is right to ask.

OP, I'd just give as little information as possible and let your daughter decide what she wants to tell people.

I am assuming she is having pretty routine surgery that would normally be done anywhere? If these people know your DD just say that she is seeing a specialist who is more skilled at doing surgery with fat people. If they know your DD, they will know she is fat. Its hardly a secret.

It's nobody else's business and frankly, the fact that you're posting about it here and worrying about how YOU are going to handle it, is really shit

I actually agree with this. Your DD is having surgery and all you care about is whether other people accidentally find out she is overweight. Does this mean none of your friends have ever met your daughter?

If my DD was having surgery I would be worried about her not concerned about what other people would think. I don't doubt that you are concerned for her but I think you have let what other people think cloud your judgement a big here.

@Akanamali no, it's not.