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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Eating out with kids?

193 replies

Lovingeachday · 22/09/2018 20:53

How do you find the best way to entertain your children when eating out? I’ve found that I hardly do it now it’s just me and them as they often act up when out.

OP posts:
elliejjtiny · 23/09/2018 21:16

We always go to buffet style restaurants with the dc. I also always keep a couple of books and colouring stuff in my bag.

LaGruffaloGrumble · 23/09/2018 21:18

We have little lunchboxes with a small toy, some crayons and a notebook each for DC.

But honestly we mostly go to Pizza Express (they love decorating and posing in the hats) or Toby Carvery / buffet type places so there's minimal wait before they've got food in their faces.

Sleeplikeasloth · 23/09/2018 21:23

"We just talk to her I suppose, or she does some colouring if the restaurant provides it. We eat out a lot though so DD is very used to it."

This. We have a 15mo.

GunpowderGelatine · 23/09/2018 21:28

I keep a little rucksack of toys in the car, and usually we go to places that are family friendly and have colouring books. But we also ask to be seated away from other people because ours (5 and 1.5) like to be up and down and it's so much easier if the space around us has no people there.

I also don't care if I'm judged but we take the iPad for extreme circumstances. Usually where food is taking ages and the only other option is letting the 1.5yo scream. 5yo DD is good as gold, she wouldn't even need colouring books or toys if it was just her on her own, she'd talk to us, but when her brother is mucking about or playing she feels compelled to join in!

MartagonLilies · 23/09/2018 21:32

Oh, come on! I have no idea why on threads like these, it's 'performance parenting', if you actually talk to your kids, instead of sticking them in front of a screen. Yet on other threads, it's terrible and lazy if your kids watch more than 10 minutes of TV.

Why take your kids out if you're just going to stick them on the ipad and ignore them for the meal? Can't they manage an hour without them? Isn't the whole point of going out to eat as family to enjoy spending the time with one another and have a chat?

I'd be pretty pissed if we went out with friends / extended family and they stuck headphones in and glued themselves to the screen. Why expect any less from children? Confused

yikesanotherbooboo · 23/09/2018 21:35

Talking works .

Starlings27 · 23/09/2018 21:43

We start with colouring and conversation and, if the meal takes forever to arrive, we resort to CBeebies on my phone. Rage away, judgypants observers.

megletthesecond · 23/09/2018 21:47

One of my moments of top parenting was when mine had been beasts one Sunday and I was close to tears.
I took them out for a meal with their tablets and it was bliss. No fucks were given that evening.

Sirzy · 23/09/2018 21:59

For some children using a tablet and hiding with headphones can be the only way the can even start to access the wider world.

frenchknitting · 23/09/2018 22:26

My 18 month old was happily amused for two meals out this weekend with a clothes peg I randomly found in my handbag.

In general though, I think whatever gets you through it is fine. We eat out reasonably often, but it's usually for convenience rather than because I think taking a 1 and 4 year old to a restaurant sounds like fun. If we are away for the weekend, travelling to family or on day trip, sometimes there is no avoiding it. I try to take colouring, sticker books etc, and use distraction to avoid deploying them for as long as possible. But I actually don't see any difference between a sticker book and a painting app on the tablet. If anything, a painting app is more creative? I tend not to allow a tablet at the table because I don't want it covered in fruit shoot more than anything else.

CheshireChat · 23/09/2018 22:46

Depends on the kid, DS is an absolute whirlwind, but really really good at restaurants, not sure why. He's only had a phone once when he was exhausted and the food was a bit slow, otherwise he doesn't need anything really. I do occasionally order him the desert first as it keeps him happy and will then eat his main as well, rather than him refusing everything including the pudding. Did this on holiday when he was a bit grouchy about the food and it works really well for us.

I really love all the comments saying that they need to eat out regularly, I'd love to, but for a lot of us that isn't an option financially!

donkeysandzebras · 23/09/2018 22:56

When DC1 was a toddler, we were regulars at the Pizza Express in a town about 8 miles away as it was by a bus depot and DD was very happy watching the buses. There were other restaurants in this town and many others (including another pizza express) in the town we can walk to but none of them had the bonus of being by the bus depot. I also perfected the art of saying "I've reserved the table in the corner by the window and DD will have the kids menu and would like the starter as soon as possible" in one breath as we walked through the door. Her three course kids menu and the buses allowed DH and I to enjoy a pizza and possible even have time for dessert. Since the Pizza Express moved location, I'm not sure I've been in one at all.

Stinkbomb · 24/09/2018 01:14

Without trying to be annoying, I have always tried to stay away from taking 'entertainment ' when eating out with DD. Have always eaten out with her since she was born, sometimes she takes a cuddly toy, sometimes there are crayons & paper around, but generally the point in eating out is to spend time together - so we talk, and play little games. She's 5, and is well used to eating out in different environments & it's a treat and we both enjoy it.

Acitywallandatrampoline · 24/09/2018 08:20

@huskylover1 it is sad that you feel the need to judge others in a situation you know nothing about. If my 2 year old had to pick a fun activity to do, it wouldn't be go to a restaurant. Yet that is what we did last night. Yes we can teach him to sit, tell him how to behave etc but he is 2yrs old! Of course he doesn't want to sit quietly, he wasn't built to. So why go out for dinner? Because I want to! I find it enjoyable and imagine that, I pick to do something I enjoy after a day of activities for the toddler.

He sat watching nursery rhymes, meaning I got to chat to my husband (hadn't managed to all day, as we were parenting our son) and other diners got to eat in peace. Food came out, we all ate and we chatted to our son as he was now bored of the videos but able to sit as he was engrossed in his food. We even got dessert he was behaving so well, instead of the usual run out and leave.

It was a lovely evening, after a day of taking him out on his bike, to the park fun day, for a swim. So if 30mins of him watching videos is 'lazy parenting' so be it.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 24/09/2018 09:44

I only take them to child friendly places that I know they enjoy, such as McDonald's. Complete waste of time going to restaurants as they don't eat the food, misbehave and I end up not eating anything myself. Two of my kids have behavioural and developmental difficulties and they find it hard to sit in one place for a long time. Waiting for the food is the part they find most difficult and waiting for everyone to finish eating while remaining at the table. They are occupied with toys or colouring for a few minutes but it's not worth it for me.

Poodles1980 · 24/09/2018 09:45

Conversation until it’s getting messy and then phone if the food is taking ages. Don’t care what people think, I hate badly behaved kids in restaurants and parents doing some performance parenting while the whole restaurant rolls their eyes

BikeRunSki · 24/09/2018 09:50

Card games

Allegorical · 24/09/2018 09:57

My eldest is impossible at 4. He can’t sit still. He isn’t in the least bit interested in colouring books/games. We have also been going out for meal from a young age. But it’s pretty much impossible now without an iPad/phone and even that only works for a short amount of time. If that makes me a bad parent so be it. Walk a mile on someone else’s shoes. Some kids are just not made to sit.
I have sat in a coffee shop with my nearly 3 year old daughter for nearly 2 hours while she played quietly with toys.

Hillarious · 24/09/2018 10:13

Mine are 17, 19 and 21. Beers paid for by mum and dad usually keep them amused and buy their attention.

cleopatracomingatya · 24/09/2018 10:15

screens are a no-no. screen time is only for at home when there is nothing else to do (bad weather/tired parents/played all day now need some downtime etc) or in the car on long journeys. Mealtimes are for talking.

HellenaHandbasket · 24/09/2018 10:17

We went out yesterday actually. 11 month old snacked and moved between mine and DH's lap. 6 yr old and I played Dobble, 8 yr old did a wordsearch (with the help of DH). And just chatted.

Shmithecat · 24/09/2018 10:22

@Allegorical, my son is exactly the same at nearly 3. Clearly, I'm just a terribly lazy and shitty parent.

Stuckforthefourthtime · 24/09/2018 10:32

If it's just our family, we chat.

If we are with guests or other adults, I'll bring colouring books or small toys, and also expect the DCs to play and chat with each other a lot of the time. When I get a rare occasion to go out with my adult siblings or friends I don't want to engage a 4 year old in conversation throughout, however lovely they are - I want to talk mostly to the adults.

I'd prefer a friend to bring an iPad for kids than someone who expects every dinner out to be centred around amusing their children (I'm looking at you, SIL!)

SilverLining10 · 24/09/2018 11:09

My ds is 2.5yo and he is utterly bored with coloring, chatting and the likes. It would last all of 2 minutes and then hes looking around ready to sprint. I'm always amazed at those whose kids sit amusing themselves with one toy or some coloring.

I think the problem with my ds is he is very active so sitting in one spot for a long time just doesnt work. So dh and I take turns walking around with him or outside until the food arrives and then hes on the tablet.

Hes also a very fussy eater with food sensory issues so it's not like when the food is there he is occupied because he hates eating in any case ! So we do what we have to do.

Eledamorena · 24/09/2018 11:37

We live in SE Asia and it is totally normal here to eat out with kids. Staff are always super helpful, whether you are at a street food cart or in a restaurant.

As others have said, it seems odd but being able to throw crackers at them while waiting for food is helpful so we usually take a snack.

Colouring if it's provided but we don't actually take toys or games with us. We do only go to places where we know the food won't take forever. We let them keep the menu if they're finding it entertaining (they often have pictures here). Promise/bribe of what we're doing later if we're doing something fun.

Children are 12 months and 3.5 years.

The older one has had her moments but never to the point where I've thought we should leave (and I certainly would leave if I felt they were in any way impacting other people's ability to enjoy their meal in peace!!)