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AIBU?

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Step son smoking weed. What should I do?

4 replies

whatamisupposedtodonow · 22/09/2018 12:08

Step son moved in with us because he wasn't getting on with his mum.

He is 21.

We previously knew he occasionally smoked weed with his dickhead mates when he lived with his mum.

To cut a long story short it wasn't occasionally and we now know it was an issue. I've not got an issue with people partaking in a joint now and again but I have an issue with him doing it as so far it's cost him his home at his mums, a job and he's supposed to be sorting out his driving as he needs a licence before the end of the year for this job it he will lose this job too.

On moving in with us it was made clear that he wasn't doing this whilst living with us. At all.

I have suspected now for a few weeks he's smoking this shit again. Think going out for walks on his own every day. Disappearing for hours with new Mates we've never actually seen.

Well today I went into his room and there was some loose tobacco and crumbs of weed on his chest of drawers.

I have confronted him and he has said it was one joint.

I don't believe him. At all. His dad and me were away Thursday night and ten minutes after leaving we had to go back because I forgot something and when I went in I thought I could smell something but as we were in a rush I left and gave him the benefit of the doubt and didn't say anything to him or his dad.

So I've told him if I catch him again I will tell his dad and he will be getting sent back to his mums.

I don't know what to do. His dad will kill him. His dad has just started a new job and has enough in his plate.

Am I right saying nothing this time?

It will cause absolute murder if I tell him.

Should I say nothing and let him catch him himself because his dad isn't stupid.

I really don't know what to do for the best.

OP posts:
whatamisupposedtodonow · 22/09/2018 12:10

My Aibu is am I unreasonable saying nothing or aibu telling his dad

OP posts:
Sethis · 22/09/2018 12:17

Tell his dad IMO. You are 50% of the parental figures in this household, and you have 50% of the responsibility while he's under your roof. The Dad has the other 50%, and from my point of view you should be 100% open and honest with what's happening with the son. Mostly because it's just going to get worse over time without intervention, secondly because if I was the Dad I'd want to know sooner rather than later, and thirdly because it sets bad precedent for your stepson in that he thinks he can get away with it so long as he avoids his Dad, because you won't tell.

whatamisupposedtodonow · 22/09/2018 12:26

His dAd is away all next week with work, then we are away at the weekend.

I don't want to worry him while he's away as he needs to have his work head on and can't do anything if he's away.

Either way I won't be saying anything to him until next week is over.

I think I will use next week to have a good look around stepsons room to see if there is anything in the house. There better fucking not be.

OP posts:
30000Lakes · 22/09/2018 12:37

Does he pay rent?
With my stepson, as long as he is working and contributing to the household, and functioning as an adult then we don't comment on what he does of an evening or weekend
He knows not to do it in our face or anything!
But then I have plenty of friends who smoke the odd joint on a Friday instead of having wine etc

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