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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Legal advice needed ASAP

51 replies

CatchingBabies · 22/09/2018 11:27

Posting on behalf of my mum who is currently in a tricky situation. She was married to my dad for over 30 years, he worked and she stayed at home and raised the 3 children. Later she became disabled and couldn’t work.

Throughout their entire marriage my dad was physically abusive to her and emotionally abusive. The police and social services were involved several times as a result but she never pressed charges due to fear.

Once she became disabled he controlled every penny she had, she wasn’t allowed to buy herself anything and he even used her disability money to apply for a car for him to use but wouldn’t take her anywhere.

Anyway fast forward a few years and she finally had enough and asked him to leave, by this point her family knew what was going on and were there to help make sure he left. He did leave taking the car that she was paying for so she couldn’t get her disability benefits back.

She has been struggling financially for the last 2 years while he drives around in the car she paid for, she’s paying all his debts and he’s got thousands in the bank plus a very high works pension that he can cash in.

He has now applied for divorce stating HER unreasonable behaviour!!! That would be her being so unreasonable to not continue letting him abuse her.

She has received a letter asking her to sign and agree to the divorce. She does want the divorce but I believe she should be entitled to some financial support as my dad wouldn’t have all his savings if it wasn’t for her paying for his car, also he wouldn’t have built his works pension up without her raising the children so how can it be fair that he does well out of this and she is struggling like she is.

The problem is she can’t afford a solicitor to argue this and legal aid is no longer granted for divorces. Does anyone know if I’m right that she’s entitled to financial support from him? If so how do we pursue this as part of the divorce without encuring legal fees?

The other option is for her to refuse the divorce and drag it out as he is set to inherit a property shortly which is why he is now issuing proceedings after 2 years.

OP posts:

MrsStrowman · 22/09/2018 12:29

OP a lot of women's aid drop in CeCe's have a few legal clinic, if someone can help her access women's aid they can write her a supporting letter regarding the years of abuse and she would get an hour of free legal advice too.

ProfYaffle · 22/09/2018 12:29

See if there are any community law centres in your area, they give free legal advice and will at least be able to assess your Mum's options and what other help she might be entitled to.

MrsStrowman · 22/09/2018 12:29

Centres

disorganisedXX · 22/09/2018 12:31

Motability should help with this, he has stolen the car and they should be sending the police to pick it up! They are very strict about named drivers, use of the car and the distance the named driver lives from the user.

Make sure any settlement reached involves your mother being reimbursed for the full amount of lease money she has paid towards a car she has been scammed out of.

I think you should call the police, report ongoing financial abuse with a history of violence, ask for their help. Report the car as stolen it is not a marital asset. Call HMRC with her and tell them what is going on, secure her benefits and remove your father as the trustee. Call womens aid and get targeted advice here, she is being robbed and is entitled to help. She needs a good solicitor and I hope you can sort that out for her, I am not a lawyer but know that HMRC come down like a tonne of bricks on anyone suspected of fraud and that is what your dad is guilty of. Do not let her sign anything from this man!

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 22/09/2018 12:34

I have nothing to add OP, but I just wanted to wish you all the best, hope everything works out, in your poor mum's favour.💐

ButtonMoonLoon · 22/09/2018 12:35

In effect he has stolen the car so I’d report it to the police

Mc180768 · 22/09/2018 12:48

The car is in his name?

So reporting it as stolen is not going to work. I don't think it is a car under the mobility lease scheme.

Sahara123 · 22/09/2018 12:52

Are you sure the car is definitely on the Mobility scheme ?
Sorry to sound hung up on this when you’ve clearly got other problems but I don’t want your Mum to be misled.
We have a car on the scheme for my daughter, you receive the car instead of higher rate DLA or PIP, and it is returned at the end of the scheme, 3 years, then you can apply for another car as long as you are still in receipt of the relevant benefits. Or decide to not apply for another car and receive the benefit instead. You don’t keep the car for 5 years, in fact you don’t own in at the end, it goes back as it is essentially a lease car. This doesn’t sound like what you’re talking about ? We’ve had Motability cars for well over 20 years and I’ve not heard of that - I’d actually be quite interested if that is available.
Anyway, as others have said, legal advice is what you need.

Allthewaves · 22/09/2018 13:02

I'm guessing he going for divorce asap if he's soon to inherit

Mc180768 · 22/09/2018 13:16

Yes, @Sahara123 I'm confused about the car.

Knowing the mobility scheme as I do, the car is awarded to the person claiming the passportING benefit and named drivers have to live within 5 miles of the person the car is awarded to.

The PIP/DLA component is paid directly to Mobility. I have never known a car be awarded to a spouse for the benefit of the spouse in need of mobility support.

OP, can you clarify the car situation please? It's causing some confusion.

Original poster

CatchingBabies · 22/09/2018 14:29

Ok the car is a mobility car but it’s through the hire purchase scheme which I believe has now been stopped. She used to have it where she got a new car every 3 years but then my dad switched her to this scheme where you pay for 5 years and the car is yours at the end. As far as I am told the car is in his name but I’ve never seen the documents to be 100% on this. I was the one who phoned mobility when he took the car and the only thing they said was it’s a civil matter and that if the car is returned they will stop charging her for it. It’s all paid up November of this year but she has lost her mobility payment for the last 2 years due to it paying for that car. The only thing she gets other than that is medium rate care DLA and income support. He also left her with a lot of debt to doorstop lenders however that were all in her name so she pays a lot to these.

OP posts:

Original poster

CatchingBabies · 22/09/2018 14:30

Those who know the scheme better would they award a car in the name of someone who cannot drive and is banned from gaining a licence due to her disabilities? I’m wondering if he lied about it being in his name and she’s assumed it to be true.

OP posts:

Original poster

CatchingBabies · 22/09/2018 14:35

In terms of fraud she herself is paying back thousands in housing and council tax benefit. My dad did the claims but in her name and he never declared his income. When they found out she was made to repay what they were not entitled to and it’s now deducted from her current housing and council tax benefit. The fact that she is deaf and blind and could not have been the one to fill the forms out with false information was irrelevant they said, it’s in her name so she is liable to repay. There are so many ways he has destroyed her life I would be here all day listing them. The system doesn’t seem to protect people like my mum and her disabilities mean that she didn’t find out the true extent of what he was doing until after he left.

OP posts:

Mc180768 · 22/09/2018 14:46

My mother could not drive, yet as she was in receipt of higher rate DLA, she was awarded a car but with me and my husband as named drivers.

What you're describing sounds like a normal lease scheme. Who's currently paying for the car monthly payments?

Original poster

CatchingBabies · 22/09/2018 14:50

My mum is paying it, it’s deducted from the DLA she receives.

OP posts:

Mc180768 · 22/09/2018 14:52

Definitely legal advice.

However, the mobility scheme you mention I've never heard of. All mobility cars are on three year leases. The car can be purchased at the end of the lease. But I've not known anybody have a mobility car in someone else's name unless it's a child. There is no log book for mobility cars as they're fleet cars. So the claimant would not have the log book. I suspect he's pulling a fast one and he's used your mother's benefit payments to pay for HIS car. If he taxes and insures it, it's on hire purchase. Very different to Mobility.

This sounds a horrible mess for your mum.

LakieLady · 22/09/2018 14:54

Yes, the person leasing the car is the person who gets the mobility element of PIP/DLA. The only time that doesn't apply is if the claimant can't legally enter into the leasing agreement, eg they're under 18 or lack mental capacity.

Mc180768 · 22/09/2018 14:58

So the hire purchase scheme did exist. Thanks OP, I've looked it up. Her DLA pays the payments . That's why it's a civil matter - HP is different from contract lease where she would have had protection.

Legal advice for your mum is vital. Upthread, there is a rights for women link. Try them. They're very good.

Ginkypig · 22/09/2018 16:08

Hi catching I'm sorry I had a mini rant I just get angry that you were sort of being made out to be lying.

Have you actually spoken to the police about the car?
I don't have much information to help but there must be an organisation that can help, police, cab, an advocacy service, mobility scheme help etc.

lalalalyra · 22/09/2018 16:28

Have you considered phoning Motability and adding yourself or another driver to it and then you can go, with the police, and get the car back with one of you able to drive it?

Your mother can choose who is allowed to drive the mobility car on her behalf. It's her car, it's just that she nominates drivers because she can't drive it herself.

Whatsthisbear · 22/09/2018 16:41

Can she not remove him as nominated driver? The car is in her name, if she removes him he’s driving it illegally and then surely the police can get involved in that. If as Lala says she then added you as nominated driver you can retrieve the car.
What an awful situation op. Hope you can gets some good legal advice quickly.

Sahara123 · 22/09/2018 16:58

A Motability car is for the use of the person who receives the qualifying benefit, which is paid direct to Motability. You don't have to be able to drive - my daughter has learning & physical disabilities plus epilepsy - but it is for HER benefit. You can have two named drivers per car, but it's still in her name. It can't be in your dads name, it's not his benefit, although he can be a named driver , as can you.

Sahara123 · 22/09/2018 17:09

I'm thinking your dad has said car is in his name whereas in fact he is only a named driver.
It's your mums car !
Definitely get yourself on as a driver & get him taken off, and go and get the car. Although it sounds as if that would be quite a daunting prospect for you.
Take care X

EggysMom · 22/09/2018 17:28

Is he driving this car with no tax (using her exemption)? The police might be interested in that. From the gov.uk page: "It must only be used for the disabled person’s personal needs. It can’t be used by the nominated driver for their own personal use."

Highlandheath · 02/12/2018 17:22

Have you tried the Citizens Advice Bureau? Call them and ask to meet one of their legal team, a lot of these are qualified lawyers - they can give the besDVt advice find out if she is illegible for legal aid and give you a list of solicitors in the area who are legal aid registered. If you go to an independent domestic violence adviser they will also be able to help, check your council website. IDVAs often have a free legal advice clinic, the lawyer who gives the advice will be a specialist in DV. Please do this BEFORE seeing any lawyers who will charge anything for the meeting and remember a lot of lawyers see this first meeting as the opportunity for a sales pitch, they are paid by the hour, and they want your business whether they are the best solicitor for you or not.... I had loads of public law issues in my divorce, the lawyers went large on how great they were in public law, I signed up they got loads of fees, screwed it up completely and then told me it wasn't their area of expertise so I had to pay another solicitor to deal with that aspect of the case... Beware, the lawyer is neither your friend, nor your therapist. Know your facts first, give them clear written instructions in advance and go to the Legal Fees Lawyers website for a contract which will protect you from being exploited by them..... Re legal aid, the bar is vanishingly low to qualify, something like anyone with assets over £6k will not get Legal Aid, and by assets they mean equity in your home, value of your car, value of your personal possessions...

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