Confused about different approaches to weaning

[jdmummy18]

Ds is 5 months so we're starting to think about weaning him. Aibu to be unable to decide which is the best option - baby-led or traditional? Did anyone else find this a really hard decision? And if so, what did you choose and why?

I'm doing a mixture of blw and spoon feeding purees etc.

I'm happy to blw with things like steamed veg, chicken etc but i'm not about to do it with spag boo or anything really messy! That stuff needs to be eaten with a spoon!

My LO is 8 months now and eats pretty much everything (so far) and is very good at feeding herself

I've also done a mixture of both. DD is 10 months now and the only thing she's ever refused is a yoghurt when she was about 7 month old.

I couldn’t be arsed blending anything up or cooking something separate or feeding them with a spoon so that is what made my mind up. Mine ate what we ate. Picked stuff up if it was big enough or spooned stuff themselves if it was sloppy. Made a great big mess but whatever. Both good eaters now. Read up in the blw stuff and it seemed to make sense to me.

‘Traditional weaning’ is just a combination of both finger foods and purée, you don’t necessarily have to decide. Personally I’d just try a bit of both and take your cue from what your baby prefers. For example, steam or boil some carrot sticks until they’re fairly soft, purée half and offer on a spoon, give the other half as finger food and see what’s enjoyed! Later on once your LO has better motor skills then the food itself will probably guide you e.g. pasta they’ll feed themselves but you’ll have to help with a yoghurt! Don’t overthink it and be prepared for a bit of mess

You can't do a mixture of both. The whole point of blw is no purées and baby feeds themselves at all times.

Purée feeding has always involved proper solids too. Purées were mostly invented when people were weaning prematurely. There's no need for them if you wait till around six months.

There's no evidence for purée feeding and the risk of choking us higher than with blw.

You can tell I did blw with both mine. :)

Purees are a hangover from when babies weaned at 4 months and weren't ready to chew and swallow. If you're waiting til nearer 6 then they are totally unnecessary.

I was overly strict with dd1 and ended up avoiding some food as too messy or impossible to self feed (rice/porridge).

With dd2 I've skipped purees but spoon feed anything i can't face going everywhere.

We did both. Some purees and (shock horror sometimes pouches or jars) and some blw. Just do whatever you think works for you!

Also a mixture, but it was around 25% purees versus 75% BLW.

I know lots of parents who focused on purees, who had problems months later when their babies refused anything lumpy, so I'm definitely an advocate of BLW.

The easiest way is to follow your baby's lead. Some want to feed themselves, some don't. Some like whole foods, some prefer mash or purée. You'll soon figure out what your baby does and doesn't like.

I started off with a mix of spoon feeding and finger foods, usually within the same meal so mashed potato and carrots that I could spoon feed alongside a piece of Yorkshire pudding and sliced chicken that he/she could pick up and drop on the floor eat. As weaning went on I increased the finger foods and when I was spoonfeeding I gave them a spoon to hold too. They were all using cultlery to feed themselves their whole meal without help by around age one.

Mines 5 months, weaning early on HV recommendation and I'm giving him veg purees until he's used to it I'm happy he can sit well enough and feed himself properly.

I did BLW but just because I considered it the lazy parent method . I couldn’t be bothered making a load of purées etc so I just gave him what we had plus stick food, stuff that took seconds to prepare! We did wait till DS was 6 months and he eats everything now (and with a spoon or fork), he’s almost 2. But saying that, everyone I know has done slightly different things to suit their family and what they’re happy with, so do whatever suits you!

I’m a purée person. I just think it’s a fun way to start and doesn’t set my baby health anxiety off the chart. I love making little mixes and freeezing them. My older dd is a dream eater and we never did BLW.

I'm currently doing BLW with my 9 month old daughter. I think it's great to be honest, but you have to be able to handle a few things (in my experience):

1. The mess. Nothing further needed.
2. Knowing the difference between choking and gagging- in all the time I have been weaning, she has never choked, she does gag (normally when she shoves too much in her mouth). We attended a infant first aid course just after she was born and I feel this gave me the confidence to know I would be able to handle it if she did, in fact, choke.
3. Loosing control in feeding- you have to accept the fact that sometimes they will eat loads and other times you have to watch the food you lovingly made be thrown on the floor, or even in some cases mushed in their hair 😂.
4. Some people will just not understand- I've had everyone from in-laws, to even health visitors try to put me off baby led. All I will say is stick with it.

My 8 month literally has the best appetite of any baby I have ever met, she can eat and eat and eat and she never refuses to eat anything. She knows how to chew (much better than my 2yo niece in fact). In the end do what feels right for you, I got the baby led weaning book off of Amazon and read that and that was a great selling point for me, do your research, decide what you want to do and stand by it.

ALSO PREPARATION IS KEY! One of the main reasons I did BLW, I only had to prep as I normally would do for myself and husband (no blending etc.)

Hope this helps ☺️ and good luck, weaning is all the fun 😂

I never did finger foods with one my DC either Coco until she was well over a year old. She wouldn't chew, no medical reason for it but it when we started off with BLW she would choke. Proper choking, not gagging, where she would put food in her mouth and swallow without chewing then slowly and silently start turning purple. We had to watch her like a hawk and within a week switched exclusively to purees.

Purées for all three of mine.

Never had problems with lumps (which is usually only an issue if solely fed jars which are like liquid at first stage).

Moved easily to finger foods.

All fantastic eaters.

Not personally a fan of BLW...I find those that advocate it a bit...militant...so I steer clear.

I found that other mums I knew who did blw were more draconian about the 'method' and what you should or shouldn't do. The mums who followed the traditional route of starting on purees and then giving finger foods tended to be more relaxed about it. I gave purees to begin with but within a couple weeks was offering finger foods too. The baby will turn their head or clamp their mouth shut of they do not want any more puree. They will smoosh up finger foods with their hands and put it everywhere but in their mouth if they dont want to eat it. They will also spit out food both pureed or solid if unwanted. I used self feeding spoons for puree because my dds liked to be involved. Honestly, it doesnt matter and you absolutely can do both puree and finger foods. Die hard blw fans will tell you that you are not blw but, as far as I was concerned, I was following my baby's lead and that was what was important. My 7 year old is now an excellent eater with lovely table manners (my 20 month old is an excellent eater with the table manners you'd expect of a toddler!). But, at 7 thete is literally no difference between my dd and her friends who were blw. I think it is much of a muchness. Batch cooking purees is very easy and very convenient too, so dont let that put you off. Choose the method that works best for you.

Batch cooking purees is very easy and very convenient too, so dont let that put you off

And you don't even need to batch cook if you find that daunting, you can take a small serving out of whatever you're cooking at any given meal time and puree or mash it.

BLW is just so much easier so it was a total no brainer for me.

I'd make our food, dump some from my plate on to DSs tray and let him get on with it. No worrying about making it buying separate stuff or how much he was eating it if I had enough for him on a day out. I never spoon fed him or pureed/ mashed anything. The mess is part of the gun but to be honest DS learnt to use a spoon very quickly.

Ew is spot on. I never bought anthing special either. Just pureed normal food. I batch cook anyway, so would do pureed versions too.

I really think you have to see what your baby likes and go with that. Like @EwItsAHooman DD1 just could not get the hang of BLW and kept choking. Not gagging, choking. I had to keep picking her up and whacking her on her back. In the end we just went from purees to thicker purees to adding lumps to cutting up food. She's such a good eater and always has been. Just depends on your child whether BLW will suit them.

You have to find what works for you and your baby - we started with jars of puree and mushy food like banana and mashed potato, moved onto jars with bits and stuff like scrambled egg once they started trying to chew the mush, then once they'd got the hang of it I started giving them some of what we ate. Anything sloppy was spoon fed, anything else they did themselves. It seemed to work, but I'm of the opinion that weaning methods are much of a muchness - they all end up eating proper food in the end, so do whatever works for you.

We did purees with all four children. They ate what we ate and it was lovely. All good, healthy eaters now too.

Wow, thanks so much for all the helpful replies!

I have a few questions for the blw group
1, what do you feed them if you're having a lazy food day (ie takeaway or frozen pizza). If I choose to eat something that wouldn't be suitable for ds what do I feed him? (Very concerned you're all amazing people who don't have "lazy days" and always prepare beautiful home cooked foods! I do love to cook but also enjoy a night off if I've had a long day)
2, what do you do when you eat out? I'd be so worried about ds making a massive mess in a restaurant/pub. Even family friendly ones don't really want my babies regurgitated food all over the floor
3, do you teach them to use a spoon at all or help them in any way? Or just, here's a bowl of spag bol and a spoon, crack on

this is maybe a question for everyone: how do you start? Do you start with just food once a day or go straight into 3 meals of solids a day?

I started with one meal a day at the time of day they seemed hungriest so for two of my DC that was dinner time, for one was breakfast time, and for the other was lunch time. After a few weeks I did two meals. A few weeks after that three meals. I did milk before food until around the age of one then switched to food before milk, they dropped milk feeds naturally without me having to stop them.

When we were having lazy days where I wasn't cooking a meal I could mash or serve as finger food I would either give them a pouch or jar (really it's okay to use ready made, it's food not crystal meth) or I would use frozen veg as it only takes a few minutes to cook. The bags of steam in the microwave veg are ideal. Eggs are good for a quick meal - boiled, scrambled, omelette. Sweet potato, pricked with a fork and microwaved until soft (around 10-15mins) then scooped out. Pasta with some chopped tomatoes and cheese or tuna and sweetcorn. Frozen fish fillet portions that can be poached in some milk (takes about 10mins). There's loads of stuff that can be cooked really quickly and then mashed/pureed or served whole.

DC1 completely refused purées so we did BLW by default but after reading the book and seeing the benefits I really got into it.

I used to have healthy foods like cold cooked veg, cheese, bread, pancakes, cold pasta etc in the fridge for days when we had eg takeaway curry.

With DC1 I made sure the baby's meals were healthy and balanced and had at least two vegetables. DC2 just got whatever DC1 was eating, which was usually healthy.

My mantra was "food under one is just for fun"! They don't actually eat much at first so starting with one meal a day is fine. But it's just about sticking food in front of them and seeing if they want it!

When you eat out you just clear up after yourself. At least with BLW it is more solid and you can mostly pick up with wet wipes. A scoopy type bib is useful for this too.