Panic attack - can't breathe

[Sparklfairy]

Not an aibu at all but I need some mimsnet support. My family have abandoned me and my only friend is on holiday. I'm having a panic attack and I'm by myself

As far as your family is concerned - if they treat you like this then they're not worth your time. My dad has always treated my sister like the golden child and didn't have any time for me. I haven't spoken to him in years, and have, just a few minutes ago, learned that he might not survive the night. I feel nothing, absolutely nothing. If family treats you like that then distance yourself from them - it'll only do you good in the long run. Good luck OP.

Search for “When Panic attacks” on YouTube. There is a recording by Dr Aine Tubridy.
I recommend it, and also her book, perhaps for the future.

@NoLightInTheTunnel - I hear you. :(
OP, do not make the mistake of believing that your worth is based on your family's opinion of you. Just because you share the same genes, does not mean they will love you more than anyone else.
My mother was physically and mentally abusive. I cannot say that I love her. My father favoured my brother and disowned me.

I could not care less about them and like @NoLightInTheTunnel I wouldn't feel anything if I knew they had one night left to live. Listen, it would have been great if they loved me, but they don't and that's ok too because I have learned from them how NOT to treat others. I have enough love now with my husband and my child. Love yourself too, because that is the most important thing. Be kind to yourself.

I totally agree with @Zombae. And you've also learned how NOT to treat your own DC if and when you have them. A mother's or father's love should be unconditional, and if they can't give you that, then it says everything about them and nothing about you. I love my children with all my heart, and would never put them through what I went through.

Sympathy I've felt the same for three weeks . Whatever I try it isn't going away

NoLightInTheTunnel zombae i know mum has brought this on. How do you stop caring about them all though? She's the trigger but it still hurts about the rest of them

@NoLightInTheTunnel Preach sister! I remember all the things my mother and father said and did and it stayed with me for years. I would get these flashbacks of pain. After having my child, I know that within their cruelty was a huge lesson for me.

@Sparklfairy Yeah it hurts, I know that - but it won't hurt for ever. It hurts now and you should feel that pain and love yourself anyway. They have the wrong opinion of you, but if you care about their opinions they have power over you. If you stop caring about them and care about yourself, then they lose the power. I think the key is to love yourself and know you will be loved. There is often a lesson in heartache. Find the lesson. Remember you're not alone. Many have been through the same and have emerged stronger.

@Sparklfairy - they hurt you often enough and it kills any love you have for them. With enough emotional distance between you and them, you'll get numb after a while, and then stop caring altogether.

Don't fight the panic, let it come and wash over you like a wave. Almost jump into it. Welcome it. Know that it is just a build-up of stress-chemicals in your blood and it will not harm your physically.

This worked for me years ago and actually put a complete stop to panic syndrome and the beginnings of agoraphobia.

It's passed now. But it's been going on all day so I'm just waiting for the next one

Sorry op I realise this is a couple of days old but how are you doing?

Thank you for checking in StealthPolarBear. It's been a tough few days (mothers bday and no contact from siblings which makes me think she's turned them against me). I get quite breathless at times, like I can't take a full lung of air, but it's intermittent and manageable. I feel very alone but there's an acceptance with it now even though it's sad. I notice anxiety symptoms (chewing nails, grinding teeth etc) but am trying to just go with the flow. It's part of the process I guess.

Fwiw my mother just locked me out, out of the blue with just the clothes on my back. This was weeks ago and yes it's her house and I have my faults (mh issues - which I would argue were caused by her abuse anyway). Despite my pride I had to message her for work clothes and flyers today as I'm self employed and her preventing access to my things (even leaving them in her porch) is seriously affecting my ability to work. Making the whole cycle worse. She has yet to reply. I have nothing on me except some make up and the clothes I left in. It's like she's pressed the nuclear button and shut my entire life down.