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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Parents (mostly mums) taking the mick dropping kids off to school (PARKING)

318 replies

Anotherragingmorning · 21/09/2018 10:35

Another morning another battle trying to find parking outside school. With mums mainly huddled around in playground or standing outside their cars talking while other parents struggling to find parking spots.

My DC primary school on a road with one end busy road, other end parking restrictions. Opposite school houses with driveways that now (over summer hols) have had double yellow lines installed due to parents blocking driveways. School has opened up their car park to help out but only a few spaces available about 10 and road has about 15 so In total about 25 parking spots. Causing a huge lack of space now. Takes about 2-3 minutes to walk kids in and drop off. Yet cars are parked up for 10-15 minutes at times. I know it's parents because as soon as the bell goes all the cars disappear.

Since school started I am having to drive up and down several times before finding a slot. Lucky if someone pulls out just as I come in otherwise a constant battle.
Yes this is a 1st world problem but one none the less I am having to live through almost every day. Since school started 2+ weeks ago my 2DC have been late 4 times. This morning being 4th time, and been told by office next time they are it will be marked as late.

AIBU to think this is pure inconsideration for other parents needing to drop their kids off too? Do parents really think this is their slot for however long they choose to have it?

OP posts:
Anotherragingmorning · 21/09/2018 11:55

Where do you live if it's so dangerous for your DD to walk to Secondary? I live in London and my Y7 DS walks 1.8 miles to his new school. Yes there have been robberies and I am sure that there are men in vans but they have to be independent one day surely? Are you going to drive her throughout secondary?

This is a personal choice I know. If needs be yes I will throughout secondary school. While she is a minor and in my care I will do what I can to safeguard her. If she had a friend to walk with I would be more confident Letting her walk to school, but Never on her own.
My sisters friends daughter 14 yrs old was sexually molested on her way to school in daylight on a suburban road in a town. (Far away from London).
Maybe your DS is tall for his age, more streetwise, can run or fight back. I'm sure you would not let him walk alone if you had any doubt he can handle himself. My DD is very petite and short for a 12 year old. She would never be able to fight off a full grown man (God forbid).

OP posts:
Anotherdayanotherdollar · 21/09/2018 11:55

How old are your dc? Do they have to be escorted into their classrooms?

EndOfDiscOne · 21/09/2018 11:56

I get there early enough to get parked, and if we're running late, park further out wherever I can get a space and walk in. If I'm feeling virtuous I park further out and let the kids scooter in - depends if my nerves can take the youngest trying to do scooter stunts or not that morning.

Some people drop and are off faster than Lewis Hamilton starting at Silverstone, some hang around and talk - shit happens.

glitterelf · 21/09/2018 11:57

YABU I leave earlier as do other parents to get a space but I often walk too or park further away depending on how many children I am dropping off and the children's needs. I'm one of those that gets caught up by other parents wanting to chat and sometimes it's staff that want to chat but I'm parked legally so if someone else can't sort their shit out to get their kids to school on time that's their issue not mine.

Anotherragingmorning · 21/09/2018 12:01

*Those fucking mums hey? Gas bagging with the mummies. Probably off to watch day time telly all day.

Bet the dads would be more efficient.

You are patronising and entitled OP. Park further away and walk.*

A fully loaded patronising comment. 👏🏼👏🏼
I don't think you fully understand the word patronising as your whole reply is nothing but patronising. I would park further away if there was any place to park that did not have parking permits or restrictions imposed.
There is nothing entitled about stating that the parking is there for EVERYONE to use, in moderation and consideration to others.
Entitled are the people who assume the parking is solely their right to hog for however long they want to hog it for.

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 21/09/2018 12:05

OP, people are being harsh.

I live in a similar area, both my dc’s are not at high school but for a while I had the same problem as you, dd1 was at a high school 2 miles away, unsafe for her to walk, we live in a rural area with no pavements. My eldest needed to be at school before 8.30am and my youngest needed to be at school for 8.45am, it’s impossible to find a space outside the school and anywhere within a miles radius after 8.30am. It’s frustrating but sadly you can’t do anything about it as no one is doing anything wrong by standing around and talking.

I’m so glad I no longer have to do school runs and both my dd’s now get collected (one by bus, one by taxi).

Anotherragingmorning · 21/09/2018 12:06

If you can make it to the primary for 8.35 and it takes a 2-3 min walk what's then issue there? Or have I misunderstood?

When I manage to get a parking space it takes me no longer then 2-3 minutes to walk my DC into their class and get back to my car. Most cars parked there in excess of 10-15 minutes at times is what I feel is a piss take.

OP posts:
Haireverywhere · 21/09/2018 12:06

It IS their right to hog OP unless it's been designated a drop off only zone like at our school.

I totally get your school run parking frustration but they're not doing anything wrong and it might be the only adult chat they get all day.

FloralCup · 21/09/2018 12:08

How old are you primary aged kids? Can you not just stop the car and they leap out?

YeTalkShiteHen · 21/09/2018 12:10

Entitled are the people who assume the parking is solely their right to hog for however long they want to hog it for.

Absolutely. They’re out in force on this thread today eh?

Your child should walk further on their own, get taxis, you should change your whole morning routine and split yourself down the middle.

All this suggested by posters who don’t see why taking up a gold dust like parking space for 10 to 15 minutes should change their behaviour.

That’s actually really funny.

PassMeTheHaribosAmego · 21/09/2018 12:10

speak to the school and see what they suggest then
I used to park miles away and walk , gives you time to catch up on your childs day
drive your oldest child to near her school and let her walk the rest of the way
most secondary children like their independence

sliceofcheese · 21/09/2018 12:10

I do a similar School run. Oldest has SEN and no she cannot walk. Secondary gates open very early. I drop her probably 15 mins before Bell then go up to primary. She's fine inside the school grounds.

I never ever go into the roads by the primary School. I enter a nearby large estate away from the traffic and park safely and sensibly. It takes less than 5 minutes to walk down.

If I tried to get close to school it would take 5 minutes to get through traffic then probably another 5 at least to park.

I'd see if you can find somewhere that's quiet away from the chaos. It will be quicker than waiting for people to finish conversations!

CrochetBelle · 21/09/2018 12:11

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Holidayshopping · 21/09/2018 12:13

Drop older child earlier.
Park further away and walk

You can’t dictate how long other people (who turn up before you) stay in a space! They could stay in it all day if they wanted, it is not yours until someone leaves and you’re in it.

actualpuffins · 21/09/2018 12:13

Is there no other suitable way for your 12 year old daughter to get to school? Is there a particular reason why you must drive her there?

mummyhaschangedhername · 21/09/2018 12:13

Seriously though, those parents, However much you dislike them, are "entitled" to park as long as they like. That's they saying how dare someone stay parked in a full car Park all day because someone else is desperate for a space. They are entitled. No amount of slagging them off is going to change what they do.

So, your only option is to consider what you can do to change the situation.

You say it's impossible to change your morning routine, fine. I find it strange none of the schools offer a breakfast club, thought that was the norm these days?

Have you spoken to the school? One option may be school correspondence to ask politely that parents don't linger. Secondly, maybe special allowance, so you can use the staff car park, or your daughter starts 5 minutes later.

How do other parents manage, I assume several have children in both schools?

Do none of your children have friends that could maybe go in with? How far do you live from the school?

My children's last school was a nightmare for parking, people just had to walk or be early (or late).

Why does your eldest not have any friends? Is it a different school from the usual feeder school? If so why did you chose this one? Do you know anyone in the area? As in can you park outside someone's house that You know?

I just find it odd that this situation has yours so riled up, but there are no solutions. Obviously I'm an ideal world you could just park but that isn't the reality for a lot of people, so it's not exactly unique. I've had a child have to have a taxi to and from school so I know the realities can be different and complex. But, you can't tell people they can't talk and go about their business because you need their space, life doesn't work like that.

You can perhaps campaign the council to make the spaces drop off only, and maximum 5 minutes, but until that point you can't expect others to Move just because you need a space.

Anotherragingmorning · 21/09/2018 12:14

It IS their right to hog OP unless it's been designated a drop off only zone like at our school.

Aah that's an idea. More of what I was looking for to honest. Solutions instead of the usual get there early one everyone seems to be giving which I have already explained is not doable. Even if I get there early which would only really be an extra 5-10 minutes I am waiting longer because the gates have not even opened which means the few parents who do just drop off and leave wouldn't have even dropped off by then!!

I have said to the office about it and they said yes we are aware of the parking situation but unfortunately we don't have the staff spare to monitor it. Maybe I can suggest the school let parents know it's a drop off pick up zone only so please socialise elsewhere. Be considerate of other parents also needing to drop off their kids.

Never had a problem at home time though. Mainly because about a 3rd of the children are at after school clubs/after school care.

OP posts:
SassitudeandSparkle · 21/09/2018 12:14

What happens at pick up time, OP?

actualpuffins · 21/09/2018 12:16

Ah, I see your earlier post re your 12 year old.

Your problem is not a lack of parking spaces, or mums chatting, it's that you need to UNCLENCH re your eldest child.

ADastardlyThing · 21/09/2018 12:17

Sorry I did misunderstand. It sounds like the school is in the middle of nowhere if there are no other roads or sidestreets within a 10 minute walk (thinking if you could get parked up by 8.35am you'd be at the school in time). I get it's frustrating but they aren't doing anything wrong and it won't be every single parent doing this so no point getting wound up by them.

Lovemusic33 · 21/09/2018 12:19

I’m guessing OP lives somewhere similar to me where not all children near by go to the same schools, my dd’s Have no friends near by so wouldn’t be able to get a lift, people here are pretty widely spread out and most of the kids that attend the local primary don’t actually live in our village (hense why they all drive in).

ADastardlyThing · 21/09/2018 12:19

So it IS a designated drop off zone only?

maddening · 21/09/2018 12:19

I don't know why schools don't have a drop and run spot - our ht stands outside for the 15 mins from doors opening till 9am - if they had a teacher that accepted dc straight out of the car at the school gates there would be no reason to park - would work for dc over 7 so those with reception, year 1 and year 2 who really need to help there dc out of the car could park more easily

Anotherragingmorning · 21/09/2018 12:20

How old are you primary aged kids? Can you not just stop the car and they leap out?

They are 6 and 8. Unfortunately not allowed. The children have to be handed to the teacher at the door by parent/carer. I even once in the first week just waved them from the gate as I had Dr's appointment and was running late and at pick up I was told off by 6 year olds teacher because she couldn't see me at the gate so wasn't sure who dropped her off. Even though 6 yr old told the teacher, but was told it's against school policy.

OP posts:
SilverHairedCat · 21/09/2018 12:21

The area outside the school is fucking RESIDENTIAL PARKING NOT SCHOOL PARKING. Selfish fuckers, the lot of them. I include you in that OP. You are not ENTITLED to park near a school to drop off your kids, it's a LUXURY. Unless they have a disability requiring physical assistance of course in which case its an absolute necessity.

So bloody well WALK a bit further. It's not going to make anyone's legs drop off.

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