Arguing over cleaning /house tidying

[BoardsofCanada]

Is this a cause of arguments in your household?

No never, cleaning should be done. Me and my partner have jobs that we do every Sunday. Never argue about it.

Constantly. Mainly because one party thinks they should be thanked and congratulated for cleaning their own house and that having a busy week is an excuse for one but not the other because it’s the other’s “job”.

No argument just a shitload of frustration. My husband doesn’t do housework.

Only thing we argued about. We could luckily afford a cleaner. Problem solved for cleaning.

I work pt so happy to do more tidying but dh knows if he leaves stuff lying around it will go in his drawer.

No, because I am not married to a manchild.

The problem is that if he doesn't do his part of the chores you can never win. Either you end up doing all of them and resenting/hating him or you have to nag him for every little thing and he moans that you are a nag/boring/treats him like a child. In both cases you will fancy him less, romance and sex will go out the window and then he will moan about that too. I actually said that in the vicinity of one of my DH's friends once. He looked like he got something to think about there. Like maybe, just maybe, it was his own fault that him and his partner weren't getting on as well as they used to.

We used to until be got a cleaner. I am now a SAHM and when we are looking at our budget DH always says that our cleaner is much cheaper than divorce so we should keep her.

Nah, I dumped him instead after years and years of him taking the piss and me just getting on with doing everything myself, like EVERY single job in the house was done by me, including DIY.

No, we share the workload.

Yes it's one of the only things we argue about, mainly from my end. I'm currently 8weeks into maternity leave with a 6week old. We used to share tasks equally but now I'm not at 'work' he doesn't even bother with what we're his tasks. I had to ask him to do something the other day and he told me stop nagging him as it was his day off. I asked when my day off was. He's got slightly better since but I can see it slipping again.

Sometimes, usually when DH forgets that the M in SAHM stands for mum, not maid, and starts leaving his crap lying around for me to clean up. His current gripe is that I won't clear the food wrappers and used cotton buds off his desk - we have a perfectly functional bin in the kitchen, all I ask is that his rubbish goes into it!

Only because DH gets in from work and immediately starts cleaning. Which makes me feel guilty when I am still at my desk working! It's a much better 'problem' than having a man child who won't help out.

But I do wish he could be a bit less 'military' in his endeavours to teach our sons to be similarly house proud.

Never, not once. Why so many women marry men they KNOW are a useless man-child is beyond me.

yes. it is.
but mostly because we are both full time workers, could quite comfortably afford a cleaner but im not 'allowed' one because "it doesn't take long to do it ourselves"

in my opinion, if i can afford to pay someone to do it, why should i do it myself? id rather spend the time im not at work enjoying myself and doing other things.

im am expecting a bit of backlash over this but ho hum, its how i think!

@sameoldstorytime
Nothing wrong with paying someone to do it. We have a cleaner, you should get one, if you both work then pay for one yourself.

Another not once. I use the main part of the house for working when I meet clients so I decide when it’s needing cleaned and we do it together.

He always asks on a Friday night if there’s anything we need to do at the weekend - not because he can’t ‘see’ it but because it’s my workspace and I decide. He does the hoovering as I can’t and I steam the floors after.

We are both very lax when it comes to cleaning, no kids at home and a non shedding dog so we just don’t give a fuck beyond the really necessary.