..to expect my best friends to acknowledge my birthday in some way

[grunjle]

?

I was away but I didn't get a card or a text or anything from them. I feel really let down and taken advantage of, given that one particularly I have constantly been supporting through sundry trials and dramas. In fact I'm looking after her kid tonight.

It's not about presents or big nights out. Should I tell them how hurt I am? How would I broach it? DH thinks I should let it lie, given taht I do value their friendship a lot.

I would make a throwaway comment like

'shall we go for a coffee this week - perhaps we could even have a slice of cake, as it was my birthday donchaknow' sorta thing

I'm sure they'll pick up the hint!

I should have done that but I've left it a bit too long for that. But as you can see, it's festering.

crikey i could be your friend although i know im not

my best friends bday was yesterday and friday evening i remembered so had to order her gift from Target (in US) and get it sent there - hopefully she will receive it on tuesday

phone her up and say "oi bitch-where's my birthday card!!!"

I would want to say something but wouldn't.

Mine is today and there are a couple of people I didn't hear from and in general the whole day was a bit of a wash out but i can't be arsed to say anything to any of them cos there is no point.

I dont know when my friend's birthday is - how weird is that. she never mentions it or celebrates it and i asked her once - you must let me babysit sometime - when is it your birthday - and she said 'ooh ages away' so i never know! maybe your mates just weren't sure when it was? or maybe they are rubbisH!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NUTTY MUFFINS !!!!!!!!!

LOL ggirl thanks

I forgot a friend's birthday recently, in fact I often forget birthdays even family ones. I just don't think that they're important for adults. It's not that I don't value my friends and family, it's just that I can't seem to remember birthdays. Perhaps your friend is just bad about birthdays too.

Happy Birthday Nuttymuffins

thanks for your replies. The two of them are very close, I am 'third spoke' IYKWIM. They would bnever forget each other's birthday and I have never forgotton theirs. They know I have had a rough year. I was kind of waiting for them to do a 'surprise' when nothing materialised after a week or so. But no. I am feeling a little insecure anyway ans this is not helping.

Even on MN, I am a non-entity. I'm just not memorable. obviously in RL too

shall i be brave and say something to them???

Yes, i think you should - your feelings are hurt, and your friends should know that. You sound thoughtful and kind, you'd hate it if they were feeling this way, so tell them!

oh I see...yes, say something and say it soon because they will feel awful when they realise how long ago it was!

Grunjle, you are not a non-entity. You are a lovely human bean

Happy birthday to YOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

I'm sorry, taht last post sounded dreadfully like i wAS fishing. i didn't mean it to be. It's just that my confidence is at an all time low and this thing with my 2 bessie mates isn't helping.

If you can say something I think you should. I have been annoyed at some of my friends over something similar, let it fester and then yesterday something was mentioned by someone that upset me, in regard to it, so I said how I felt, not too much, not angrily, just assertively and it felt good. I am not usually assertive but I had just had enough and thought they needed to know how I felt. It went down fine...they seemed to get it.

You should do it. If they are your true friends they will at least take it on board, if you approach it with calmness.

Good luck!

Happy birthday Nutty!!

I saw them yesterday and we had a lovely day together but one asked me if i was ok, as I had seemed rather quiet. I didn't realise i had been. that should have been my cue I supoose. I bottled it.

if you really dont want to say anything, then wait until their birthday and ignore it. just say you didnt think you were celebrating birthdays anymore because no one did yours.

i little immature

if they knew it was bothering you and upsetting you this much i think they would rather know, they will prob be mortified and really sorry

If you don't say it is your birthday then you being very unreasonable IMO. I would NEVER expect anyone to remember my birthday, even dh, who loves me to bits. If I want people to remember, I tell them. My oldest friends - whom I have known for over thirty years - do remember, but I expect nothing from anyone else and would be horrified if someone held a grudge against me because I forgot their birthday. Blimey.

But happy birthday anyway!

happy birthday

what aloha said.

Hey Grunjle, hope you are feeling a bit better now... Don't spose you've got any cake going spare? Feeling greedy tonight..