I win the embarrassing trophy

[Tryingtoswallow101]

So you know that bogie you get?

The one that sits in your nose, tickling your nose all day??

Well, today, as I sat in one of our abandoned offices, I decided to pick said bogie.

So I’m about 3/4 inches deep into my nose and the CEO and his visitor decided that was the perfect time to open the door.

In my own personal hell, I immediately whipped my hand out of my nose as the CEO gave me this look and introduced me to his lovely important visitor.

WHO I THEN OFFERED MY HAND!!!

Of course, the visitor recoiled in horror and my bogie laced hand fell limply to my side.

So... I win and will resign first thing tomorrow.

Please share your work horror stories before I lock myself in a cupboard and never join the real humans again!!

p.s only declaring this because I’ve been drinking

Resign and then emigrate .

Years ago at work , I was on my way to the loo with a Lillet in my hand , bumped into my boss who introduced me to a new employee he was showing round . As the new chap extended his hand , I put mine behind my back to swap the tampon over , I got a look .

I feel your pain .

Oh @oddcat we will obviously have to love together in some exotic county where no one utters the word bogie or tampon.

Oh I say! You're being a bit forward towards oddcat aren't you OP? Love together indeed!

Years ago at Christmas we all got a gift from our boss, accompanied with a handshake and a peck on the cheek. For some extraordinary reason I turned my head so I got a kiss on the lips

I read that open mouthed.

We’ve all done it- you were just unlucky enough to get caught!

Change your name and leave the country. That's your only option.

I’m in a constant state of horror. I was having a right old dig

But at least I didn’t kiss either of them unicorn

Signs notice as nose picker and dies.

Oh god I still clearly remember having a really good pick to clear my nose after a cold. I did not realise my boss was watching me through a glass panel. I looked up, finger still rammed up my nose and he gave me the most disgusted look ever!

That was over 15 years ago and I still cringe. The upside was he had been relentlessly trying it on with me up until that point without taking hi for an answer. Funnily enough, he left me alone after that

No for an answer, not hi!

Well I made it through another day without handing my notice in - I did have moments of reliving the whole thing and dying on the inside.

Pleased to add I also didn’t pick my nose all day. I must be growing up

This will out me to a few friends, but this happened about 5 years ago now, so I can finally laugh at it

This is a copy and paste from the message I sent one of my closest friends

My morning this morning...

8:00 serious wardrobe malfunction today! Was getting dressed at sparrows fart this morning and noticed my top no longer fitted due to huge expanding breasts. So I quickly grab a new top that I know is bigger throw it on and leave the house. I get into work, remove my coat and basically my boobs fall out onto the desk. Now I remember why I don't wear this top! Fuck, and I'm being shadowed by a consultant all day.
8:15 Thankfully not many people in yet, except of course the guy who sits across from me... his comment was whoa!
Need to find a way to keep them under control today

8:45 Right have some tit tape - joy of working for a company that does a number of fashion shoots daily. And I have a light weight scarf, that kind of matches.
But this does make me realise I desperately need new bras!
9:00 It gets worse

Have just gone to grab a coffee, bend down carefully so as to avoid further tit exposure, all good so far, then I drop my spoon, mutter "Oh fuck" do the giraffe at a watering hole impression trying to pick it up - shuffle backwards while bent over and end up with my arse pressed against the CEO's crotch! standing up quickly provides far too much velocity for the poor tit tape so in turning around to apologise my boobs flop out again.

Thankfully he is pissing himself laughing and as I hide at my desk I can hear him telling the head of the legal department (my potential future boss) - please can I go home now?

^^ Should add the I was heavily pregnant at the time

:o

A friend of mine went to the loo to change her tampon, stuck a clean one up her sleeve. Halfway down the corridor, chief of staff came out, unfortunately the tampon decided to fall out of her sleeve with some force and was ricocheting round the COS's feet while she was chasing it trying to pick it up.
He picked it up, realised what it was, threw it towards her saying "catch", she dropped it, more scrabbling about trying to get the damn thing, COS trying to help, nightmare!
We all laughed (lots!).