Just seen a photo of myself and I could cry.

[TonightAtNine]

I'm currently pregnant and have just seen a photo of myself from last weekend. I'm wearing a dress that I thought was flattering and I didn't think I had put on much weight. I've realised from looking at this photo that I am a lot bigger than I thought, and even my face looks huge. I've tried to stay healthy and exercise but clearly it hasn't worked.

How could I put on so much weight and not notice? AIBU to feel like a whale and be in tears over a photograph?

I felt so positive and now stood in front of the mirror I'm realising that I've put on far more weight than I thought.

I'm so upset. Do a lot of people feel like this?

One photograph is really not representative of how you truly look. You are growing your baby, your body is doing an amzing thing!! This is not the time to worry about looking good - just to worry about being healthy for your growing baby 🧡 I am sure that you are glowing

I didn’t mind looking hideous while pregnant. I’m more upset that I still look hideous almost a year later and basically have no hope of ever looking normal again.

I've been looking back at photos of myself 6 years ago when I was pregnant and I looked a lot bigger than in remembered! I gained 2.5 stone which was a lot in retrospect. I lost it all by 6m post birth though with breastfeeding and healthier eating. I wouldn't worry now. Your baby is well nourished and that's the most important thing

I had this too! It was my mums wedding and I thought I looked quite nice but in the photo I'm a beached whale with a huge fat face 😂

I was quite careful during pregnancy and after giving birth and went back to normal within a year. I think it's just one of these things, I can now look back at that photo and laugh thankfully.

My god though I'm huge. I'm so huge. How?! It's more that I didn't notice that's upset me. It's frustrating as I just want to go for a run, or lift some weights, but my joints just won't let me.

Please don't look at youurself like that! You're pregnant. You're supposed to get bigger and it doesn't mean that your efforts to stay healthy and excercise haven't worked. They definitely will have helped loads. But if you hadn't got bigger, something would be wrong.

Everyone gains weight differently in pregnancy, and that doesn't mean anyone's doing it wrong. Some women look the same, just get a bump. Others (including me) get it all over - I find my jaw and hips and feet all expand, I think it's to do with the entire skeleton spreading to accommodate the hips. Or something. Anyway, it's happened with me 3 times and after each pregnancy it's always gone back to normal within a year of delivery.

Please don't feel bad. Do your hair and skin look better than usual? I find mine usually improve with pregnancy. Enjoy that instead. Or think about the beautiful healthy baby you're growing. You will lose the weight when the time is right, and you will lose it easier (and more healthily) if you can manage not to get upset about it.

Even without putting on much weight, your face can look puffy while pregnant because of the hormones. Don't beat yourself up about it, I'm sure you look lovely.

I had a bit of a panic at 21 weeks that I'd put on loads, but I had been downing chocolate biscuits like there was no tomorrow...

I know it's hard when you're used to looking a certain way, but your body is an amazing instrument which is growing a whole new life! It's not just an ornament to look pretty for other people.

It will be absolutely worth the short-term changes.
Also, screwy hormones can make things feel much worse than they are.

How many weeks are you? Please don't get into a negative mindset over a snapshot photo, you're going through an amazing process which changes your body temporarily. Your body is preparing to feed the baby you're growing and you might have had an increased appetite which combined with loss of mobility causes many of us to gain extra weight.

I ask how far along you are, because it might be worth talking to your midwife if you are concerned. The growing baby doesn't need much in terms or extra energy in your diet, it just needs you to get as good quality nutrition as possible. Your midwife might be able to advise re:diet and whether it's possible for you to arrest the weight gain you are having while still ensuring that the baby gets everything it needs.

@MammaSchwifty I'm 34 weeks so only a few left. I honestly don't eat much differently to my non pregnant self. I just move a lot less because I'm in pain.

I know how you feel, but here is a message of hope. I got huge when I was last pregnant. At 15 weeks people thought I was full term. My face got puffy as well as I was on both steroids (prednisolone) and hormones (HCG first, then progesterone later). I had already put on a lot of weight through 3 miscarriages and months of progesterone treatment. I have precisely 2 photos of me in my last pregnancy as I genuinely couldn't bear to look. I was so happy to be pregnant (when I wasn't scared I would lose this one too), but I couldn't cope with how I looked. In the end my baby was born 5 weeks early and a fortnight later I stood on the scales to see how bad the damage was - I had already lost all the weight I put on with that pregnancy. I am struggling more to lose the weight from the other pregnancies and treatment, but the extra weight from that last pregnancy must have been entirely either fluid retention or bump as it just all vanished. I was eating like a horse post partum too.

TonightAtNine the lack of movement can be so tough to cope with. You're on the home stretch now though, in several short weeks you'll have your body back and a new person to run around for. All that pacing and buggy-pushing once you're back on your feet. In the meantime, maybe you could look up any local buggyfit or mum and baby yoga classes etc you might want to join when you're ready, to give you a morale boost and something to look forward to while you wait out these last weeks? There's nothing like getting your body back, I can really empathise.

Thanks everyone. I'm so used to being active and on my feet. From sickness at the beginning to joint pain and fatigue, I've hardly moved for 7 months other than lots of walking. I'm annoyed with myself.

@MirriVan it's not really about the pounds, it's about the fat I've put on. I really hope it does fall off me and that I have time for exercise and to start running again!

Don't forget a lot of it will be fluid. You'll be amazed at how much water weight comes off in the week or two after birth.

I gained a lot which was mainly bump, but because SPD stopped me moving through much of the pregnancy, I got a lot of water retention which in hindsight showed on my face. It was somewhere around the 34-36 weeks mark that my rings had to come off because my fingers were too swollen.

It all came off in the first year. The rings are now on my right hand because my left is too slim and loose!

It's difficult around pregnancy/ birth/ post-natal when your body goes through random changes.

I have a classic line-one of my darling colleagues said to me we worked in fashion so we were very blunt
"that top is not as cute as you think it is"
I gave birth 10 hours later and actually loved the top

I have found if you go back to the same diet you'll go back to the same weight.
I honestly spent so much time when I was pregnant worrying about how I looked. The feeling of not being able to control weight gain is horrible if you're used to being pretty stable or controlled. But most people look how they used to afterwards

Also photo's are 2d and you are 3d. You won't look as big as you do in photos. I've got a beautiful friend that everyone fancies. She looks ordinary in photos. I don't know why she does just not photograph well. Not saying you're the same just sometimes the camera does lie!

I feel like a whale, as well as looking as though I've swallowed a beach ball, I have an extra chin, my thighs have literally joined together at the top and I have a weird shelf thing where my hips used to be. It's not pleasant. Having said that, I'm growing an actual human so I'm letting myself off. It will all come off after, baby weight is just that. Your body needs it so it stores it. As long as you eat well and build up exercise afterwards you'll be fine! Breastfeeding also helps. I'm looking in to local mum and baby exercise groups and also carifit babywearing online videos to do at home. I'm getting married 11 months after I give birth so I'm motivated!

Also you might not put on much more. Towards the end there just isn't much space inside you for food.

OMG stop beating yourself up! You are 8 months pregnant. I bet you look lovely!

I've just discovered some bright red stretch marks under my boobs. So unfair. My milk hasn't even come in yet. Oh man... not feeling good. It's all normal I know, it's just so hard to adjust. Will definitely be looking for exercise classes locally!

It’s probably just a bad angle OP.

I got stretch marks AFTER I gave birth!!! I thought I’d escaped! Must have been the final weeks growth that did it.