AIBU to tell her to piss off?

[tooashamednottonamechange38392]

Hi. I name changed as this may be too outing.

I work in a fairly large team, we're 8-10 people in an office. This particular woman pretty much hates me/has some sort of weird jealousy/fuck knows what's wrong with her

Firstly, I'll have to say I am on a higher pay than her (due to experience, she had NONE at all when she joined the team). She knows this (not sure how she found out). And she also knows that this is my second job, at the weekend I do a creative job (think hair, but not exactly), which is my real passion and also brings out decent income but not enough yet to live on. I have a decent income all together but I do work a lot and never brag but colleagues do know about this second job.

I like fashion. I dress as nice as I can with the budget that I have (think Zara/mango/similar-not Chanel and Prada). People compliment me on clothes and sometimes ask me where an item is from and how much it costed. When I reply she makes sniffy comments suh as "of course, you have money", or "I'd never pay that much on a dress", etc.

Also, I am about 6-7 kg overweight. I am not skinny but would not call myself fat. I am normal. When talking to some people at work about the gym she made a comment like "yeah, like you go to the gym", suggesting that I am fat. This was not the only comment on this matter and generally whatever I say she tries to put me down somehow.

I am avoiding her as much as possible. I have no clue why she hates me.

I feel like telling her to piss off, because she's just evil. AIBU?!

Every time she makes a comment just look at her and say “sorry could you repeat that a bit louder”

Every time she makes a shitty remark about not being able to afford it , you should say “well when you’ve got my experience...”

Is she young?

Next time she makes a mean comment, call her out on in it, publicly.
Ask her if she has a problem with you as she seems to get very personal about you.

@Losingthewill1 We're both in our 20s. She's about 3 years younger than me or maybe 4

@Soontobe60 I am definitely not assertive enough and I hate direct confrontation. I have no idea how to call her out. I mostly just shut up

Every time she makes a comment just look at her and say “sorry could you repeat that a bit louder”

I love this. Honestly she's making a food out of herself. Everyone else will be quietly thinking she's awful.

I would say she is either young, or extremely emotionally immature - or a combination of the two.

The paddington bear hard stare and a "Can you repeat that?" , should be enough to snap her out of it if she has any once of self awareness. But some people can be vicious once they perceive they have something on you, it comes from a deep sense of insecurity which isnt your problem to sort.

If thats too much, then perhaps the tinkly laugh of "of course I go to the gym silly! Why on earth do you think I wouldnt?" But you need to do it every time shes being a bitter moo.

“You know if you get more experience hat bitter taste in your mouth would go away”

Whatever you do, do not try and reason with her in a private meeting or give her a heads up in a friendly - it just adds fuel to the fire and doesnt work.

Thanks everyone! I feel better! I always had a pretty low self esteem. I know my weaknesses (both personality and physical) very well and I don't need anyone to throw them in my face just to be mean

@Losingthewill1 ouch. I love that!
@Timeforabiscuit I am too disgusted for this. I try to avoid her as much as possible but she's like the plague

You have to speak up and defend yourself loudly. You don't have to be rude. She probably won't do it again.

If someone makes an off comment towards me I always respond by saying something that puts the awkwardness (and need for a response) back to them. Something benign like

• what a strange thing to say?
• why did you say that?

-what do you mean by that.

It works well.

But if it's massively out of order (and not at work) I just say go fuck yourself.

When she says something you need to be loud about it and repeat it to someone else in a shocked way when smiling. So if she says "as if you go to the gym" I would smile and loudly exclaim "You think I don't go to the gym? Why to you think I don't?"
Or if she says "I'd never pay that for a dress" reply loudly "Wouldn't you? I thought it was reasonable. What would you pay then?"
You don't need to be rude but being loud and repeating and questioning what she says will either shut her up or she will keep going and embarrass herself.

I've met rude people before but she takes the cake. I would never dare to tell anyone they're fat, or even suggest it. How mortifying. But I guess we're all different.

Very useful advice here; thank you! ❤️ I need to learn to be assertive ASAP

She's so jealous, I would almost feel sorry for her .
Next time she has a dig pull her up on it say I'm sorry what was that ? She will be embarrassed if you keep doing that eventually she will stop . She will probably always dislike you but that's her problem not yours.