To leave him

[makeorbreak1]

We have two children together have been together 10 years. We had a miscarriage last month was a shock to be honest, this week he has said he doesn't want a third child and will not be sleeping with me again until I'm on some sort of pill. The issue is I DO desperately want another baby, it is defo something I've imagined to have with him for ages now. He works 5 days a week so it's me who's with the kids every day doing school runs, etc I'm a sahm so maternity leave doesn't apply to me, finances fine. He just doesn't want another I am heartbroken and he won't back down. We both clearly want different stuff he said he doesn't want to break up but if I can't let it go he will leave me. Aibu to leave him over it because this is what I've wanted for so long and I don't see why I should give up my dream for him.

Firstly I’m very sorry about your miscarriage. It must be a very tough time for you, so I’ll say this gently. Do you think it’s worth ending your marriage over this? The disruption/pain it will cause your children? Will you be able to carry on being a SAHP, you’ll have to find a way of supporting yourself. Never mind the fact a third child certainly wouldn’t happen until you have found a new partner and be in a very stable relationship (looking at years here) before it may even be on the cards.

You’re both hurting at the moment. I advise working through your feelings about the miscarriage and your relationship first before even opening a discussion about another child.

Hi thanks for the reply I defo could stay as I am now thankfully. However he didn't want the pregnancy and was relived when I miscarried and I think this has opened my eyes so much. I know it would be years before I found someone else and was able to have another but it's just everything getting a bit to much his attitude is awful most days, I hardly see him as it is. And when he is nice it feels very false

Then you definitely need to work out what’s wrong with your relationship, as a matter of priority. I think wanting a third child is a bit of a red herring here, that you’re trying to make up for something missing in your relationship with another baby. You shouldn’t have one with someone you’re obviously unhappy with regardless.

As he is the one who is adamant about not having any more children with you why is it you who has to take “ some sort of pill “?? He is the one who should be sorting out contraception and perhaps having a vasectomy. I think I would be telling him this if you intend staying with him. He expects you to give up the idea of another child and you’ve already been through the sadness and physical trauma of a miscarriage.... plus two pregnancies and births. You’ve done enough ... he needs to step up.

From your second post I'd say that the third child argument isn't really the issue is it?

I'm so sorry for your loss OP