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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect Teacher to call me?

50 replies

Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 11:18

My sons are in a generally great primary, highly respected in the local community. Predominantly white English intake but around 10/450 pupils are non white, including my sons who are mixed race.

We’ve never had any issues apart from one child making comments in ks1. Yesterday ds (yr6) came home and said a classmate had been calling him a “coon, nigger” to other boys in the class.

After discussion ds said he mentioned this to the C T who just the boy not to say it again and that was it. Now l appreciate kids say stuff but they are YR6 so should no better and l at least would have expected a phone call from school surely?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 20/09/2018 12:08

Good. Glad something is happening. Dds School is hot on racism. The class teacher was wrong to casually tell the boy to not say it again. Yr6 kids should definitely know better.

PlateOfBiscuits · 20/09/2018 12:09

Also, if I were you I’d probably seek assurances from the head that future staff meeting time would be given over to refreshing all staff’s understanding of the policy and procedures. That way the chances of this happening to your DS or any other child can be reduced.

Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 12:10

I had hoped that the CT had taken it seriously and was following through with head. It would appear at this stage that all CT has done is told the boy not to do it again!

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Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 12:12

Good point plate

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Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 12:14

Great post Minster

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Yabbers · 20/09/2018 12:20

I’d expect a call. I’d want to know they were recognising it and pro-actively dealing with it.

I’ve had situations where stuff has been said about DD’s disability. I generally get a call to let me know what’s been done.

This is not just kids stuff, it’s not banter, teasing, or any of the other things people want to dismiss it as. When it comes to using someone’s skin colour to pick on them it is racial abuse. Only those who don’t understand how pervasive it is and how it escalates if uncorrected would think it can just be brushed off as typical kids stuff.

10/11 year olds don’t generally just pick up on this language unless it is used in the home. N- maybe as it is used in music etc, picked up through that. But C-?? That’s a really old fashioned word, isn’t it? Very likely to come from home.

This generation of young people are future leaders. Don’t let them get to adulthood thinking this is just banter.

Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 12:35

Agree Yabbers the C word shocked me the most actually!

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MeAgainSparkle · 20/09/2018 12:37

I'm not easily shocked (I understand that kids can be fucking horrible) but this has really sickened me. I'd be making an appointment to the Head and stressing how serious and unacceptable this is.

TheLastSaola · 20/09/2018 12:42

When I was teaching, use of that offensive language would mean immediate escalation to the head of year and senior leadership team.

I’m not sure at what stage, or if we’d inform the parents of the abused child.

Please make sure you follow up with the teachers, they may already be taking it very seriously and just not informing you, which is probably fine. But it is very serious.

ScattyCharly · 20/09/2018 12:50

This won’t be an isolated bit of racism. The child who called your ds those words is likely to be a prolific bully, well known to the school.

“Normal” kids don’t suddenly start coming out with racist stuff like that, regardless of the ethnic mix at the school. In fact, most Y6 kids are utterly appalled by racism IME.

Regarding your part, as the victim’s parents, IME you will be entitled to very little. The school will be probably tell you that they have dealt with the perpetrator as their policies set out. They may say how this is (eg educational video re racism). They will probably say they are sorry this happened to your ds.

Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 13:00

Scatty l except that, but given that the CT would probably tell me once home, in her shoes l would be one step ahead and contacting the parent to inform them it was all in hand. That was all l needed at this stage.

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Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 13:01

CT would expect Ds to tell me once home

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Elephantinacravat · 20/09/2018 13:07

Yes the school should have contacted you. Whenever I have dealt with racist incidents at school I have always contacted all relevant parents on the day of the incident, and if possible before the child see the parents and tells them themselves.

Elephantinacravat · 20/09/2018 13:08

And obviously reported the incident to SLT as well, it is all logged and recorded.

ScattyCharly · 20/09/2018 14:32

IME the class teacher doesn’t always tell parents these things. If they need to deal with the parents of the perpetrator, they will. But informing the victim’s parents - no, they don’t do this pretty often in my experience. Unless they need to call you because your child is hurt and needs medical attention.

Original poster
Konmariconvert · 20/09/2018 15:18

Are you for real Scatty unless my son was hurt! He’s been made to feel less than because of the colour of his skin... but hey, why would that hurt him 🙄

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categed · 20/09/2018 15:47

I was hoping that it had been passed on and was being dealt with by slt and it had somehow been a mistake not phoning you. The fact it wasn't passes on is awful. I am sorry that your son experienced this and that the class teacher didn't deal with it as she should. I think the whole school may need a refresher on dealing with incidents of racism. I was an adult before i ever heard the c word and didn't know what it meant for a good few years after that so there is no way that was just learned.

FullOfJellyBeans · 20/09/2018 15:55

Are you for real Scatty unless my son was hurt! He’s been made to feel less than because of the colour of his skin... but hey, why would that hurt him

OP the PP meant that unless your DS was physically hurt you may not be informed. It is usual that not every event that hurts a child's feelings during the day will be passed on to their parents. However I think because this is a racial incident it's much more serious and should have been automatically escalated much more than has apparently happened.

PlateOfBiscuits · 20/09/2018 18:12

How did the meeting go?

Rachie1986 · 20/09/2018 18:14

How did you go on OP?

Tink88 · 20/09/2018 18:17

In my school Hate incidents have to be reported to the leadership team as soon as possible then parents will be informed. As a teacher I would expect a phone call at least

Feefeetrixabelle · 20/09/2018 18:19

I would say with a case of racism as serious as this that a phone call would be received. It’s ridiculous

ASauvignonADay · 20/09/2018 18:20

From a school POV (although secondary - but actually I have more children than a class teacher!) we would definitely phone parents of both victim and perpetrator.

ScattyCharly · 20/09/2018 23:59

OP, why are you saying “are you for real” to me?
I posted about my son’s experience at school and what they did and didn’t phone me for to help you know what your school may ring you for. Not because I think racism doesn’t hurt your son!

Original poster
Konmariconvert · 21/09/2018 11:34

Update apart from the lack of phone call (which CT has apologised for) the school has dealt with the incident as per their policy and l am satisfied.

Thanks for all the constructive comments 😀

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