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Original poster

To ask if your 11 year old knows what sexting is?

42 replies

MintyJones · 19/09/2018 22:57

My newly year 7 DS didn't know until today when he was told all about it in a school assembly for year 7 & 8s. Apparently this assembly was given as some children in the year have been doing it - which is a whole other thread I suppose.

He knows plenty of things regarding sex and puberty etc and I'm not particularly bothered that he now is aware of what sexting is BUT I kind of think it's a little too young to be doing assemblies like this. What are your thoughts?

And before anyone tries to twist any of my words, I shan't be speaking with the school, I'm not up in arms about it and I understand why they did it. I just wish he didn't have to know at the age of 11!

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 19/09/2018 23:00

Sadly (have just had my safeguarding training for this year) there is a huge occurrence of sexting happening in the 8-13 age group, I would hope it is towards the upper end of the that age group but sadly I think I will be being a little hopeful about that.

Not necessarily them instigating it but being asked to send pictures etc, so being aware of it and the fact it is wrong is worth the assembly I am afraid.

Not all parents will have such strong controls over phone usage etc.

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:01

That is sad. The focus of the assembly seemed to be on not asking other children to send nudes.

It's generated quite the chat at home this evening Confused

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/09/2018 23:01

They have to teach them it as part of the PSHCE curriculum. You need to let go a bit. Once they go to secondary they grow up really quickly and they will get it wrong sometimes.

My 12 year old told me in a very casual way that someone was a twat the other day. He had no idea that it was offensive and was mortified when I explained. He had heard it being said in school so was just repeating what he heard. They need guidance to help them steer through this new grown up world. It’s a hard adjustment from the innocent days of primary school, but that’s just the way it goes.

JustlikeDevon · 19/09/2018 23:02

Mine knew when she started y7 - if she had a phone she needed to know what acceptable was on terms of both sending and receiving.
I agree it's sad it needs to be said, but it is better to keep them safe with information.

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:03

Oh don't get me wrong. We chat about all sorts of topics and I've covered internet safety etc etc. But being 11 he is of course not on any social media at all so the sexting thing wasn't on my radar just yet. Until today

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 19/09/2018 23:03

I think it's appropriate, especially as the school are reacting to a problem in the year group. My job means I've seen much worse things involving eleven year olds and agree with aPP this is becoming a big issue in the juniors age bracket. It is a little sad though that there's no innocence anymore.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/09/2018 23:04

Also it’s actually possible that someone in year 7 has already done this, and that school’s (correct) response is to do a special assembly on it for the year group in advance of a scheduled lesson.

Justnoclue · 19/09/2018 23:05

DS is year 8. I monitor her online life very closely which means I’ve witnesed what her friends put on too and I nappropriate things started being put online in year 6. I’ve had to warn DD about things I thought I would have to deal with until she was older.

You might not want them to have to know yet but trust me, in today’s world, they need to know far younger than you think.

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:05

@CurlyhairedAssassin yes I think that's what prompted the assembly.

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/09/2018 23:06

He doesn’t have to be on social media. It’s sexting. Could be a simple picture sent via text. Does he text his friends? Most in year 7 will. A lot work have smart phones.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/09/2018 23:06

WILL have

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:07

I have a 20 year old too so am well used to all sorts of stuff like this. But I don't recall chats about sexting when she was 11 - thinking back though, it was probably well and truly in its infancy then

I think I'll chat more about it with him and discuss what we do and what we don't do when it comes to sending photos online. He has a phone but barely picks it up so the chances of him sexting just yet aren't high thank goodness

OP posts:
Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:08

He has an iPhone but doesn't use it. His time with friends when indoors is spent shouting down a mic playing fortnite

OP posts:
CurlyhairedAssassin · 19/09/2018 23:10

Ha, snap! He sounds exactly like my son! Fortnite causes more trouble than anything else at the moment.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 19/09/2018 23:11

Noodledoodledoo

8!? Oh my goodness I have 2 months left of my poor innocent little boy. Shock

I think you know they were right to do the assembly but completely agree it's so sad. A great reason to keep our kids from smartphones for as long as possible.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/09/2018 23:11

I think you should be glad to educate him BEFORE he gets on social media. Children need to know about all of the possible ramifications of inappropriate behaviour they may be confronted with when online.

StitchingMoss · 19/09/2018 23:11

Minty, you say “of course he’s not on social media”. Sadly there are many thousands of parents who don’t agree with you and allow their children to access social media much younger than 11.

Despite ALL the evidence of the damaging affect on mental health they don’t seem to think it will apply to their kids.

It’s baffling but there it is.

If parents did a bit more parenting perhaps we wouldn’t be in the god awful mess we’re in now Hmm

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:12

Oh yes. I hear ya. He's not 'too' bad and will come off when asked. To err look at stuff on his iPad Hmm

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Smurfy23 · 19/09/2018 23:12

Our year 7s this year came in to school with a couple of them having been involved in sexting in primary. It's beyond frightening.

bonbonours · 19/09/2018 23:13

My daughter's school had a parent meeting and student assembly about it because they had been dealing with instances of it happening in year 7. Sadly yes it does happen and kids need to know about it.

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:14

@StitchingMoss I agree. He's very clear that there is no social media until he's the correct age - and right now he couldn't care less and says he doesn't want it anyway and never will. I'm sure that will change! Why parents allow it is a mystery to me

OP posts:
Noodledoodledoo · 19/09/2018 23:14

Will also say at my previous school we should an online safety video, which was a short drama about a girl sending her picture to her boyfriend and then this picture being shared widely, and the fallout from it all.

When asking the students who was at fault overwhelmingly the students would say the boyfriend who shared it, but struggled to understand the girl had a part to pay in sending it to start with. Not victim blaming but trying to get them to understand if the photo is not out there to start with it can't be shared etc.

This was always combined with a session on being able to refuse to do something, facing up to peer pressure etc!

Its really tough being a teenager these days.

CountFosco · 19/09/2018 23:15

DD1 is y6 and doesn't have a phone yet (obviously I'm the worst parent ever) but knows to not send photos of yourself nude. Don't know if she knows it is called sexting though. I am of the 'bore my children with facts' sex education faction though.

Original poster
MintyJones · 19/09/2018 23:16

@Smurfy23 but where does this come from? My DS pulls faces if someone kisses for example which is standard for 11. He was absolutely fascinated about sexting being a thing. Couldn't get over it and asked me all sorts of questions about it. I got quite the grilling Grin

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 19/09/2018 23:18

Despite ALL the evidence of the damaging affect on mental health they don’t seem to think it will apply to their kids

I think it will take a generation at least for us adults to catch up with all the ramifications of the internet and social media. Most parents of 11 yr olds had msn messenger on the family computer ( if we were lucky) when we were that age. We just can't fathom what it's like for our children.

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