To ask if you have friends whose beliefs and values don't match yours?

[PerverseConverse]

I don't mean religious beliefs.

I mean beliefs and standards around subjects such as relationships, parenting, breastfeeding, feminism, domestic abuse, marriage, politics?

I have a couple of friends who I am struggling with because our views are so different on subjects that are very important to me. I'm all for a good debate but they are so different to me that I've been distancing myself.

I'm probably ASD and do struggle with relationships so might just be me not being able to see their view.

And yes, I need new friends!

Like others have said having similar values is more important than agreeing on everything. As long as they're generally a 'good' person I don't care what their beliefs are. There are some beliefs (racist, sexist, disablist etc) that I believe are incompatible with being a 'good' person though and in that situation I couldn't continue with the friendship.

Loads. We just don't talk about subjects we don't agree on.

Yes, but (1) so far nothing deal-breaking for me and (2) we love each other so much that the friendships withstand it. Over the years we've got better at calling time on debates when one person starts feeling hurt, which is not to say we don't have robust discussions! I am someone who can be strident in my views and it has been important for me to become a bit less hung up on changing other people's opinions even if I continue to disagree with them.

I have a friend who is homophobic. She and I were born in a homophobic country, although I live here and she lives there. I just said to her "we disagree on this one and won't discuss it" and we are still friends.

I care passionately about gay rights, but I also allow for disagreements in friendship, provided the rest of the friend is good.

I have a friend who thinks cheating in relationships is no big deal, and she would have no qualms about sleeping with someone who's already attached. Whereas I am very moral over things like that. We're both older ladies, single and not dating so it hasn't come up as an issue in the time I've known her and we just don't discuss it now. But, I'm not sure what I would do if she started seeing a married guy as I just couldn't condone it. So it might be an issue in the future.

I have a friend who is in a very long term relationship, 2 kids, very unhappy, and playing with fire with another bloke. She doesn't want to leave her partner but wants fun elsewhere. She also is also very different regarding parenting. I find her difficult as her morals imo are lacking and having been cheated on then I find her attitude to relationships odd. I've made my opinion clear to her and hope she no longer involves me in her affair. I think her partner knows what she's up to anyway. I expect it will all explode at some point.
Another friend has let me down on a personal and professional level over the summer then topped it off with disclosing some views that I was very surprised at. I suspect she's also racist. We are no longer friends.