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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I was unlucky in life

30 replies

confusedmummy76 · 19/09/2018 19:39

Preparing to be flamed. AIBU to think that had I been dealt better cards in life I would have achieved so much more? I'll try and briefly explain ad much as I can but will no doubt be accused of drip feeding lol.
So had a fairly decent upbringing. With a bordering on abusive parent who emotionally broke my heart. I'll try and narrow it down as I would be here for days typing.

Decent childhood, abusive father who did love me but hit my sister, mother was under the thumb. We were ditched for another woman as a teenager. Still helped financially have since been homeless and still completed a degree. He has cut contact and hasn't seen his 4 grandchildren in 4 years. Thinking he might be my problem with abandonment and relationships. I can't think of anything too add so please don't accuse of drip feed xxx

OP posts:
hmmwhatatodo · 21/09/2018 17:06

Does anyone truly get over having not so great parents? Also, if you have a parent who just decides to have nothing more to do with you (even if you didn’t do anything wrong) do people just get on with it and put it out of their minds?

confusedmummy76 · 21/09/2018 18:40

@hmmwhatatodo I have no idea. I find it devastating to be cut completely out for no reason.

OP posts:
Notacluewhatthisis · 21/09/2018 19:58

It is devestating. But you need help for that to not influence you so much. You need to come to terms with it. Most of people have an issue (large or small) caused by our parents. As parents we aren't perfect. Every parent occasionally fucks up. Some parents fuck up spectacularly. Some of those are doing their best but failing, some are just dicks.

We all have some issues left by the way we were parented.

You know, your issue is making you make bad decisions. That's the first step. You know you make decisions when it comes to men, so get help to find a way to not do that.

Accept the past and start again, each time trying to make a better decision.

Its that or carry on as you are and carry on blaming your past for it.

trojanpony · 21/09/2018 20:55

It’s not wildly unusual, mine is broadly similar.

Basically I realised at some point I had become an adult and at some point I had become completely responsible for my Life choices and how my life was turning out...

Sometimes it’s hard, but you pull up your big girl pants and get on with it. I struggle with my now DP because he is nice and kind and caring and I still don’t know what to do with it Half the time.

confusedmummy76 · 22/09/2018 10:48

Getting help, so hopefully will be able to deal with life a bit more constructive in the future

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