To ask what’s more important: money in the bank or job satisfaction?

[QueenofmyPrinces]

Im going to try and keep this brief - I’m basically in a dilemma regarding whether to apply for another job or not.

I am a nurse and prior to having DS1 (who is now 4) I was working 30 hours over 4 days in a community based role. So 9-5 day shifts and no weekends.

When I was on maternity leave I asked to go back 3 days a week instead of 4 as I didn’t like the idea of using childcare four days a week but my manager said no. As a result I took a new job on a ward which meant I was working 3x12.5 hour shifts: long days and weekend shifts.

I was doing full time hours and until recently have been on maternity with DS2 who is now almost 14 months old. Since returning from maternity I have reduced my hours to 25 a week which is 2x12.5 hour shifts.

I’ve been back at work a few months now and am pretty deflated by various aspects of it despite the main benefit being that I get 5 days a week where I am home to be with the children.

I’ve seen a job advertised today that I am interested in for various reasons but if I were to apply for it and get it I would have to slightly increase my hours and work four days a week instead of two days and so it means our childcare costs would be doubled.

On paper we could probably afford it but it would take a good chunk out our disposable income each month. I’m not overly fussed about that because extra money is a luxury to some but I know my husband likes having a nice stash of money for emergencies which is fair enough.

My husband works 7.30-4.30 in a job that he’s pretty miserable in but he does it because the pay is good and he knows we have a family to support. As a result I feel like it would be unfair for me to consider applying for another job because I think I will be happier in it even though it will be financially detrimental.

On one hand I want to apply for it but maybe I need to be realistic and acknowledge that if my husband can stick with a job he’s not overly happy in because financially it’s the best thing for our family then surely I should do the same and stick with my job?

He’s actually got a job interview next week for a more senior role but he’s very doubtful he will get it.

There are pros and cons to my current job and the new job so maybe I should just stay where I am. The grass isn’t always greener after all.

I’m going to talk to my husband about it tonight and was just after your thoughts and advice?

I’d go for it & see what happens first.

I’d go for job satisfaction as long as we could afford the hit, but make sure you really look at life balance especially if it’s more hours.

Definitely job satisfaction. As long as you have enough to pay bills and eat would rater enjoy job than earn loads and hate job. I always think you do better job if you enjoy work rather than hate job usually you don't care so do crap job.

It depends whether your DH also has the option to choose happiness over salary? He may feel that he’s being made to bear more of the burden of supporting the family, getting more stuck in s job he doesn’t love, which to me doesn’t seem fair.

He may feel that he’s being made to bear more of the burden of supporting the family, getting more stuck in s job he doesn’t love, which to me doesn’t seem fair.

That’s my worry too which is why I’m reluctant to mention it to him and just stay where I am even though I’m fed up.

Job satisfaction all the way. I'm currently trapped in a well paying role with an arsehole for a boss who doesn't let me have an opinion in anything. I'd trade it tomorrow for a pay cut and better job :(

I'd go for the money.

Otherwise you gain job satisfaction at the expense of economic security, family time, fairness and your relationship should DH resent you.

Put together I see an overall loss.

Unless your job dissatisfaction is significantly affecting your mental health. In that case, choose job satisfaction over money.

The problem is that on the surface I love my job, there are some aspects that give me so much happiness, but on the other hand there are parts of the job that make it very stressful and can make me dread going into work some days.

The other day I worked 7.30am until 21.10pm and got about 40 minutes break in 13.5 hours and that’s pretty normal. I’m so tired a lot of the time because it’s a very long day, especially when I’ve been up with the baby the night before as he’s still not a great sleeper. Some members of the team can also make for an unpleasant environment and some days are just vile. I have great days at work sometimes but the bad days could make me cry. My mental health isn’t being affected as such but it can be tough. On the days I work I don’t see my children at all and sometimes I’ve even gone 48 hours without seeing them and that’s difficult.

Now my oldest one is at school the only chance I get for quality time for him is the weekends but because I work either a Saturday or Sunday most weekends that writes off one of those days to see him. I miss him and I know he’s struggling with me not being around as much now I’ve gone back to work.

There’s also no room for progression in my current job and it’s a bit of a hopeless feeling when I go to work and I know that there’s nothing more for me there.

The new job is just a step sideways in terms of pay as I will be on the same pay scale I am now but it’s in a completely different role and I envisage lots more opportunity to progress.

But then I feel bad for thinking about career progression when my priority should be my children in terms of finances etc but then I have watched my husband climb up the ladder, and his interview next week is for him to climb up a few more rungs and it just feels a bit unfair that I’m being denied the same chances in my career because I can’t be seen to be rocking the financial Apple cart as it were.

It’s so complicated

I've spent the last 14 years in a Nursing job that was making me miserable, I've missed countless weekends with my kids , missed their football matches etc. I've missed out on social events and Christmas days with my kids. I did it because childcare costs would have been horrendous for 4 kids in a 9-5 job, and by me working nights and weekends, childcare costs were very low. For the past few years it was twelve hour days and nights and it nearly killed me. So now my kids are older ( and my dh inherited some money which makes finances easier), I have gone to a 9-5 non nursing job and life is much easier and my mental health better. I really wish I had done it earlier although it would have put a financial strain on us a few years ago I don't think you realise sometimes how much of a strain shift work places on you and on family life.

Have you spoken with your OH as to how he would feel about you changing role and everything that comes with it?

I don't think there's any point in you both being unhappy with work and restricting your own progression. If it made my OH happy and wasn't making my situation worse, I'd want him to go for it.

If you didn't change position would your OH be looking to change position for a lower paid but more satisfying job? If not, then you being happier or not makes no difference to his work life so why not try to be happier at work?

If you were in a role where there was a chance for progression then maybe this could allow some room for your OH to makes changes further down the line?

I would go for the other job. The increase in childcare costs will reduce once your youngest gets their free hours and if there is a change of career progression it’s possible you will end up no worse off or better off before too long.

I don’t have DC yet but I’ve just gone part time. With the lack of tax deductions, it’s not as bad as expected. It’s a low stress job that I can just leave at the door. After having two toxic jobs in a row I feel so much better!

Dropping from 37.5 hours down to 25 when I came back from maternity didn’t really have too much of an impact on my pay, well certainly less of an impact than I was fearing!! My pay probably only dropped about £300.

The new job would mean doing 6 more hours a week than I am now, so an extra 24 hours a month, but the financial benefit of that probably won’t balance out the extra childcare costs.

OH has no plans to go for a lower paid job, he likes having the income we do and he wouldn’t want to jeopardise that, hence why I feel like I can’t talk to him about the job because I know the change in our financial status will be a huge issue for him.