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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I being unreasonable or were they?

34 replies

Musicforthemasses18 · 19/09/2018 15:51

So I was at the front of a cafe queue ordering with my kids. Dd 6 was just on her way to the only free table in the cafe when the people behind us, who were yet to order, ran out in front of her to take possession of the table. I could see this happening & so said loudly, go & sit down to my DD- which she did. The people behind then got the hump and loudly said- well I guess we can’t sit there now.

My view is that if I am in the middle of ordering & there is only one table, then I have priority over the table as I am paying for my stuff. It’s bloody rude to table jump in front of me when you haven’t even ordered. It’s a tiny little cafe with 3 tables inside & a couple outside.

Aibu or were they?

OP posts:

YeTalkShiteHen · 19/09/2018 15:52

They were.

Abandonedabroad · 19/09/2018 15:54

They were, especially running in front of a child to take a table like that

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 19/09/2018 15:56

They were - you were ahead of them in the queue.

LollyPopsApple · 19/09/2018 15:56

You were in the wrong.

If tables are limited then it’s your responsibility to ensure you’ve secured one before ordering. Otherwise you risk ordering food and then realising there’s nowhere to sit. Being in the queue doesn’t mean you have magically claimed the last empty table, for all anyone knows you’re ordering takeout or not stopping.

WilyMinx · 19/09/2018 16:00

If tables are limited then it’s your responsibility to ensure you’ve secured one before ordering.
I'd think this "rule" only applies to McDonald's or a similar eatery. If you're in a cafe with 3 tables and obviously dining in, you should get priority being ahead in the queue.

Abandonedabroad · 19/09/2018 16:00

@LollyPopsApple how are you meant to secure a table before ordering if you’re by yourself? It’s not always safe to leave a coat or a bag on the table?

Original poster

Musicforthemasses18 · 19/09/2018 16:01

@lollypops well my DD was on the way to the table- I had to tell her to move to the table so it was clear that we were going to sit there

OP posts:

Lululemonade · 19/09/2018 16:04

They were. People should definitely not be reserving tables before ordering, generally the flow of tables is such that as the next person is ready for a table one becomes available

Winterbella · 19/09/2018 16:05

They were totally in the wrong for trying to run to a table before your DD what a grubby thing to do, if someone else is about to sit on a chair you don't push in under them and claim it!

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 19/09/2018 16:07

They were especially as they could probably see DD was on her way to sit there.

notacooldad · 19/09/2018 16:09

We've not had a cafe wars thread for awhile!

ThingInTheAttic · 19/09/2018 16:19

They were in the wrong. Rude, too

JessicaJonesJacket · 19/09/2018 16:19

I don't think anyone was being UR. You both tried to secure a table before you'd completed your orders. Your DD was faster than them.

AvoidingDM · 19/09/2018 16:21

They were.
In a busy cafe people who have ordered and got food could have eaten and gone buy the time somebody else stands in a que.
I have a friend who has no bones about plonking themself at a table with strangers who are table bagging. Any complaints are met with "your friends in the que. Oh well I've got my food"

Tinty · 19/09/2018 16:24

You and DD 'won' cafe wars .

They were in the wrong by the way.

WilburIsSomePig · 19/09/2018 16:43

I was once walking to a table with my tray, DS beside me when the woman behind me threw her handbag over my head and it landed on the table - that was her way of 'bagging' the table. I put my tray down and handed her bag back to her. Neither of us said a word, it was the weirdest thing.

OP they were being unreasonable.

Gersemi · 19/09/2018 16:45

But your daughter was table jumping, wasn't she? You hadn't paid for your stuff. Essentially whoever gets to the empty table first gets it, if someone at the back of the queue had grabbed it you wouldn't have been able to object, however cross you were. However, since your daughter got to it first, you were entitled to it.

Twotailed · 19/09/2018 16:47

I think it’s fine to secure a table before ordering but they were unreasonable to jump in front of your child as she was already on her way to sit there. If they had secured it before you had tried to though then it wouldn’t have been unreasonable imo.

Bibidy · 19/09/2018 17:17

I think it's unfair that they raced past your daughter to get to the table, that's rude.

But otherwise, I wouldn't think you should be given priority over the last table in such a small place just because you happen to be ahead in the queue. Presumably the other family were about to order food too.

If a table was free and I was queing, I would take it regardless of whether there were people ahead of me or not. However, I wouldn't rudely outrun someone to get there first.

MondayImInLove · 19/09/2018 17:26

Racing past a child is just low.

HalfDivided · 19/09/2018 17:59

Abandonedabroad leave your coat there.

If you order without making sure you’ve nabbed a table when they’re in short supply then you can’t really complain when you have nowhere to sit OP! Really surprised to see how many people don’t follow that social norm. If you arrive and there’s only one table left you might decide to leave and go somewhere else, but if you order first it’s too late.

YeTalkShiteHen · 19/09/2018 18:00

All this would be solved if people just paid for their food and then got a table.

If they’d done that, OP and her DD would have got to the table first.

Which is why the CFs tried to snag it, because they think they’re more important.

So many things in life would be much easier if people weren’t such entitled dicks.

HalfDivided · 19/09/2018 18:01

So people should take a gamble and order food with no idea whether they’ll have anywhere to sit down and eat it or not?

I wouldn’t say they’re entitled dicks, just different social norms. Everyone I know goes by the ‘table first, order second’ rule so doing so is just normal and not some rude transgression.

YeTalkShiteHen · 19/09/2018 18:04

I wouldn’t say they’re entitled dicks, just different social norms. Everyone I know goes by the ‘table first, order second’ rule so doing so is just normal and not some rude transgression.

So if someone was paying for their food, and you hadn’t even ordered, you’d go and take the only free table in the cafe. that is entitled. And really really rude.

NewPapaGuinea · 19/09/2018 18:07

I detest queing first and then sitting. You spend the whole time itching to get served because you know someone will jump in and claim a table before they’ve ordered. Then you’re stood waiting for a free table which could be however long.

Best system is claim table, take table number to counter and put order through against that number.

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