To hate the..this is what happens in other far flung country so is normal argument?

[abacucat]

Many people when trying to claim something is natural, quote what happens in some far flung country they know little about, to prove what they are arguing is normal. They usually do it without understanding the context of what is actually happening in another country and so are effectively cherry picking.
Argue what you want, that is fine. But don't use examples of what happens in a far flung country to argue something is natural and therefore correct.
For example some countries marry girls when they reach puberty. You could argue it is biologically natural, but does not mean I will think it is right.
AIBU?

I think it depends surely. If you're talking about breastfeeding and claiming that it's gross and disgusting then I think it's fair enough to bring up the fact that it happens in other countries. It illustrates that it's just a cultural difference that makes you think it's gross. If you're talking about something that has been shown to be harmful or dangerous (e.g. lack of availability of prenatal care or poor hygiene conditions) then YANBU yes it happens in other countries but it has proven negative consequences so if we can avoid it we should!

I do agree with the marrying example. Early marrying ages in other cultures does not make it right for that culture or any other - we have to be able to acknowledge where our culture is clearly 'better' and where it is not, with reference to human rights.

In short a lot of our ideas of what is or isn't normal is based on the culture we grow up in. Your normal is only better than their normal if you can prove that it has some benefit. For example not marrying preteen girls off to older men has proven benefits to the prospects of those women.

Huge generalisation here. It completely depends on what you’re arguing about! Underage children getting married - then you have a point. Extended term breastfeeding - you don’t have a point.

This is a TAAT

I hate this too. ‘I’m from Sweden and this is really common there’. Your point being? Is the OP supposed to emigrate or just pretend she lives there?

This is a TAAT

No it isn’t. It’s about an attitude regularly seen on this site.

I think it's a bit silly when the example is a developing country where people almost certainly wouldn't do [admirable thing] if they weren't being forced to by economic necessity- for example living with elderly family members with high needs or providing food and personal care to family who are in hospital. If you don't compare like for like, it doesn't prove anything.

But it's used for sensible examples too.

For example, cyclists must wear helmets. Well they manage fine in the Netherlands without them.

Or kids must be accompanied to school until they are 18 10. Again, in other countries it is the norm for kids to take themselves to school from an earlier age.

I see no problem in pointing that out. Maybe there are things where the UK could learn from other countries and improve things?

I think we use research and moral judgement. And I think some things that are normal in Britain are also wrong.
But for example, we know from research that babies sleeping in same room as parents reduces SIDS up to 6 months. Research says it is better to do that, not on whether it is normal to sleep with your baby in countries where the whole family only live in one room anyway, and so co sleeping is economic necessity.

Agree that when people say kids are not capable of certain things that are normal for kids to do in other countries, that is worth pointing out. We may disagree on whether it is right for kids to do whatever is being talked about, but other countries show us that it is biologically possible.

What are you actually constructing this argument about, OP? I mean, are we talking FGM or putting babies to sleep outdoors in midwinter?

I am talking about this as an argument that is used all the time on here.

There is another thread where a girl of 16 got with a 23 year old and is messing him around now that she is older. Posters are divided about how 'normal' the relationship could ever have been. One poster claimed that cultural attitudes in Britain were influencing those who felt she was simply too young. Said as if that was a limiting factor in their perspective. Others pointed out there was nothing groovy about child marriages in other cultures.

That's the starting point.

But surely we use our own moral compass there, rather than what happens in other countries?

I am a poster who posts here in Sweden. One last night about 6 boys in the class and my son and a new boys not invited to a party. Gosh, it never occurred to me that it would piss people off. I offer it up as a contrast. So many things I have been about since moving here from London 4 years ago.

I think it usually gives context. Like if it’s common somewhere else then humans are capable of seeing this as normal. Ie. It’s not a universal wrong just a cultural wrong. (Some things like fgm and child marriage are universal wrongs!)

I'm still not seeing it. Our sense of what is normal is to an extent formed by our culture or origin, but unless we stay entirely within that specific context, with no other influences, we recognise that there are lots of 'normals'. It doesn't have to be a far-flung country to have entirely different ideas of what is normal -- I'm an immigrant to the UK, and my home culture, which is not geographically distant, has a very different attitude to death/funerals/open coffins/children naturally attending funerals to the one I find prevalent in England, for instance.