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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

At what age is ok to leave DC in car for 2 mins?

31 replies

Drummingisfun · 19/09/2018 11:28

I'm curious what people think about this situation.
If I go to the post office to collect or post a parcel it normally takes me less than 3 mins to go in and out.
Currently it takes me longer to get dc unbuckled from car seats and back in again than I currently spend in the post office itself. Last time we went DS askes if he could just stay in the car because it's annoying to get out and straight back in.
DC are 4.5yrs and 2.5 years, both in a 5 point harness so unable to get out of the car if I left them.

The shop is glass fronted so I can see if there is a queue from the car before I go in. Car is parked in a little car park directly in front of the post office, so I can see the car the whole time I am in there.
I can lock my car and disable the alarm (to avoid dc setting it off by fidgeting!).

Would IBU to leave them in the car for 3 mins?

OP posts:
Pompom42 · 19/09/2018 11:34

I'd say they shouldn't be left in the car even for a minute. Someone could drive into the car. The car could have an electrical fault and catch fire. I know people that take their children into the petrol station when getting fuel.
You wouldn't forgive yourself if anything happened. It's not just about whether they can get out of their 5 point harness or not.

adaline · 19/09/2018 11:36

My parents left me from about 5 I think.

Safer to sit in a locked car than have a toddler/small child potentially running about on a road or forecourt.

Pompom42 · 19/09/2018 11:37

They aren't on a forecourt Adeline she was asking about the post office

Pompom42 · 19/09/2018 11:37

adaline

user1019291019223 · 19/09/2018 11:41

It depends. Can you see them and the car from the queue in the postoffice? Is it a tiny village postoffice or a big one in a busy town?

Pompom42 your argument is ridiculous - you can't control for things like that. Would you beat yourself up if someone crashed into your parked car, with your kids in it, while you were in it too? What if someone crashes into all of you while you walk from the car to the door of the post office - would you beat yourself up wishing you'd left them in the car?

Oobis · 19/09/2018 11:42

I've always left mine in the car when I buy petrol, working on theory I can get back to the car before anyone else could get into it. My local post office is a village one and I happily leave them (almost 3) in their car seats if I pop in. Never for a prolonged period though and in summer I would leave front passenger window partly open (furthest from them). I also leave them asleep in the car on the drive if I'm unloading shopping or pop to the toilet, leaving front doors (blacked windows in rear) and boot open if sunny. Then I get a cuppa on the bench on the drive and a few minutes peace. I do hope I won't go to hell Blush

adaline · 19/09/2018 11:43

Same rule applies though @Pompom42

In my opinion children are much safer in a parked, locked car than they are crossing the road.

Of course accidents happen but you're far more likely to get injured crossing the road than you are sitting in a parked, locked car with a seatbelt on.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 19/09/2018 11:44

know people that take their children into the petrol station when getting fuel.

I always take a small baby but once they are walking I wouldn't take them as I think they are safest in the car at a petrol station.

I think as long as you are in an allocated parking space the chance of someone driving into the car is as slim as the chance of someone running them down on the walk to the shop. I have heard cases of people stealing cars with small children in so i didnt like the idea of leaving them until they were old enough to make a car thief aware they were in the car! Personally i think 2.5 is a little young. They may need the toilet and you are not there or become distressed they probably aren't old enough to fully understand that you will be back in just a sec. They will learn how to undo harness (I don't know many 4 yr olds who cant) and then you have the worry of them fiddling with the handbreak.( i actually did this as a child and car rolled backwards!) My DD could unstrap herself when she was 2.

Nicknacky · 19/09/2018 11:44

I’ve popped into my post office and left my 4.5 year old in the car. If there was a huge queue then I would go back a different time.

SpikyCactus · 19/09/2018 11:46

I remember reading in the news last Christmas that a man attempted to abduct an 8yo who was left alone in a parked car for 30 seconds. And then there was that awful case where the baby was left in the car for a minute and the Mum thought it was stolen but actually the car had rolled into the river and the baby had drowned. I would never leave my DC in the car unsupervised.

TeaForDad · 19/09/2018 11:47

From very small is ok for 2 or 3 minutes.
(Quick collect, milk from small shop etc.... Not big Tesco shop or 10 minute queue)

Balance of the tiny risk with the benefit of getting things done in your life.

Nicknacky · 19/09/2018 11:48

Attempted abductions are so so rare they don’t even feature in my decision making at nipping into the post office.

ArfArfBarf · 19/09/2018 11:52

I would be happy to leave them from birth under the circumstances you describe.

mumofmunchkin · 19/09/2018 11:52

I leave them in the car (4 and 2) while I pay for petrol. I'm not wrangling two preschoolers across a forecourt, where there are cars moving around, when they could be safely sat in a locked car with music on. I can see them/the car the whole time, and am only a minute. It sounds much the same thing - if they/the car are in sight, and it's genuinely only a minute or two, then I think it's fine. There are risks to everything we do - including taking them with you - it's about determining which risks you are willing to take.

KarmaStar · 19/09/2018 11:54

They are too young op.there are usually queues in the post office.I appreciate that it is a struggle with the car seats but it is worth doing.it really is not worth the risk.

Subtlecheese · 19/09/2018 12:00

When they are licenced to drive Wink

WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup · 19/09/2018 12:07

I'd have absolutely no problem leaving them in the circumstances you describe.

Original poster
Drummingisfun · 19/09/2018 12:29

To answer questions :

  1. tiny post office. NOT even a glass screen for the counter.
  2. post office is glass fronted and car parked about 10m from door in full view at all times.
  3. car parked in a tiny car park surrounded by a wall. Only way for car to be hit would be by another car in car park, which would likely be moving very slowly given tiny size of car park.
OP posts:
Ffiffime · 19/09/2018 12:33

I’d leave them if I could see the car.
Mine are roughly the same age. If I can park directly outside and see the car constantly then I’ll leave them. The risk is negligible and there’s more of a risk to them outside of the car!

Original poster
Drummingisfun · 19/09/2018 12:36

Karmastar this is a tiny post office. Near Christmas there are sometimes queues but not the rest of the year. And I can see before getting out of the car if there is a queue, because of the glass front. I'd never leave them if there is a queue.

Whoever said about car rolling into river- highly unlikely as we are some distance from nearest watercourse. The car park is flat so I'd be surprised if the car did roll tbh. And if it did, the only place to go would be about 1m into a wall.

I hadn't thought about child snatchers to be honest. But given that I can see the car wouldn't it take someone longer to break in and hotwire it than for me to run the 10m back to the car? I've never hotwired a car so not entirely sure on this.
This is a pretty low crime area to be honest, people leave their bikes in the front garden unlocked. My family leave cars unlocked outside their houses.

OP posts:
RomanyRoots · 19/09/2018 12:39

Why on earth would be age related. Confused accidents can hppen to people of all ages.

Original poster
Drummingisfun · 19/09/2018 12:41

This has never com up before which is why I asked.
I pay at pump for petrol so never been an issue then. If we just need milk we walk or scoot to the little shop nearby so I never pop into a big shop for milk.
It's only because my 4yo asked to stay in the car last time that I started thinking about whether it would be easier to just let them.

OP posts:
Runningintothesunset · 19/09/2018 12:42

I think there must be a rural / city divide on this - either that or I live in a parallel universe. Everyone I know leaves their kids in the car while they pop into local shops. I have done since mine were tiny. As long as I can still see the car then I’m happy. They’re now School age and choose whether to come or stay, they normally opt for staying and listening to the radio. I obviously take my keys with me.

spacefighter · 19/09/2018 12:43

I always leave my kids in the car when filling up but I tend to use the card machine ones now so I'm next to the car. My 6 and 7 year olds I would leave in the car if I was only going to be a few minutes. When I do the nursery run I leave them in the car when I take my toddler in.

Original poster
Drummingisfun · 19/09/2018 12:43

Romany I guess partly because a 4 yo can understand that I'm in the post office and will be back in 2 mins. A 1yo probably wouldn't understand that and might be worried they'd been left.

OP posts:
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