To not allow DS to take a day off because he didn't sleep?

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Genuinely wondering if I was unfair here. DS survived and has just gone to bed.

DS was up late last night, gaming! He's 16 and my youngest. I don't turn off the internet, etc. as I need it on at night. He knows the rules, if he's tired, tough, he'll learn to go to bed sooner.

He ended up not going to sleep until 6am. He had to be up at 6:45am... he got up and said Mum I'm not going to college. I said you absolutely are and he protested a bit but then reluctantly agreed. It was unfortunate he then had work this evening (McDonald's) but got through that also.

My friend said "bloody hell your heart must be made of stone, you made him do both?"

Was I really being a big fat meanie?

No i would have done the same. Getting enough sleep to manage the day is part of growing up surely

No! He can sleep tonight!! I think fair dues to you and on the other side fair dues to him for going!

As you said, he survived. And hopefully, he has learned not to do that again.

I'd have done the same in those circumstances. He knew what time he'd have to be up!

Welcome to adult life kid!

Thing is once his moved out, got bills to pay etc etc he can’t simply not turn up because his tired 😂 that attitude won’t last 5 minutes in the tough wide world.

He will learn a work ethic from you and mummy saying it’s ok to stay home if the poor lamb has stayed up all night won’t help him....

You've helped him fix his sleeping pattern by refusing to let him sleep all day!

Wonderful, thank you

that was excellent parenting. Good job, mum, you are a

I would have let him skip college, but with a massive bollocking. The logic being, I wouldn't want him to risk screwing up at McDonald's and getting fired. A full day of study and then a full evening of work is rough.

Have you looked into ways of how you can restrict his internet access at night? Yes, he should be mature enough to just turn it off himself, but that doesn't seem to be working out too well for him.

If you're a stone-hearted, big fat meanie OP, then that makes 2 of us! He would definitely be going to college and work here too. No sleep because of worrying or illness? Every sympathy. No sleep because he's been up nearly all night gaming? Not one droplet of sympathy.

Let's hope he's learned his lesson and won't do it again, especially on a college and work night. I'd give him the opportunity to prove this. If he hasn't then I'd be giving him a 10pm curfew and taking the equipment away. I wouldn't want him to ruin his chances at college or his health on my watch by disappearing down the rabbit hole of being up all night gaming. Hard as nails, me, when it comes to things like that. Soft as marshmallows otherwise.

He will survive. Welcome to the real world, young man.

I can't sleep so this one caught my eye and made my laugh

There's a thing called cause and effect. Staying up until 6am is the cause and being totally knackered the next day is the effect.
Don't like the effect then don't partake in the cause. Simples 😁

Same applies to everything in life but sometimes it's worth the pain. Hangovers when you have to go to work the next day are a prime example.... a party with all your mates during a "school night" can be worth it, but you still have to get up the next day and perform so that no one would ever know.

If you can't deal with effect don't partake.

If you'd let him skip college as a PP suggests, he would have slept all day, then not been tired again tonight - and another full night of gaming would be taking place tonight. You did the right thing.

Good for you! Also think this is better than turning the internet off - this way he learns for himself!

YANBU - loads of people don't sleep well at times but they can't just not go to work. Imagine if everyone rang in every time they were tired!

Perhaps in future he will turn off the games and go to sleep at a decent time.

He is 16. He knew what his schedule for the day was. He chose to stay up knowing that schedule.

Choices has consquences. It's a good lesson for him to learn.

Hang on, @Pringlecat, you would have let him skip college (his education) so that he could prioritise his part time job?

I'm not being snobby about a job in McDonald's (I used to work there for a start) but I would say that he ought to be putting his a levels ahead of his Saturday job. After all, let's play worst case scenario: if he gets sacked from McDonald's - shame, don't put it on your cv, get another part time job. If he fails his alevels (or doesn't do as well as he could) - massive pain,possibly has to retake, affects what options he has next, possibly affecting his career for years to come.

Plus, I would regard my DCs part time job as their business, but their education as mine - he can screw up at work and get sacked if he wants (and learn a valuable lesson) but I would fight hard for him to not screw up his education.

I think you did the right thing OP

Primary school kid who hadn't slept because they'd been coughing all night or had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep etc: keep them off for the morning, see if they're ok to go in the afternoon.

16 year old who hadn't slept because they were gaming: tough! Send him to school and work and hopefully he won't be so stupid again.

Good for you! You did the right thing.

Consequences. You did absolutely the right thing. I once dragged my then 17 to ds to his Sunday job after he had been gaming all night - he never did it again !

No you've taught him a life lesson for when he's got a baby or insomnia and he needs to just get up and get on with it.

Was I really being a big fat meanie?
No,you were being a good parent.A bad one would have let him skip college and sleep all day so he'd be all nice and fresh for another night of gaming.

Absolutely the right decision. He has to learn when to stop. He is on the cusp of adult life. A boss won't be impressed if he is calling in sick. He needs to learn to control the gaming. Is he addicted to it?

YANBU.

As someone who has employed (and occasionally fired) students, I wish more parents would teach their child these sorts of basic things. I have occasionally had to fire students because they have been unable to grasp (despite setting expectations at the start, and usually two stern warnings for transgressions) that turning up to work for every shift really is a compulsory part of working life - and there were no excuses when they were handpicking their own shifts.

A tough lesson for some to learn, it seems (I remember a handful making complaints to senior academics and my own managers (... and their managers...) who backed me to the hilt when they heard the full story). I comforted myself with the thought that it was better they learned the hard way when it was just a part time student job. It would have been easier all round if their parents had taught them this sort of thing before they went to university.