To say no to my friend bringing her daughter every time we go out?

[AlexDragon]

If we go to the cinema, the daughter comes. Out to dinner, the daughter comes. For cocktails, the daughter comes.

It's driving me insane.

Daughter is 19.

AIBU?

Yanbu as she’s an adult but I don’t know how you’d broach the issue.

Assuming she’s NT and doesn’t need to be with her mum all the time.

Does she say why her daughter comes?

If it's because the daughter is having a hard time in life and can't/ won't be left alone due to mental health issues or anxiety (for example) then you need to be patient.

If it's just because she fancies a night out with her mum and her mate all the time then that's a bit odd...

Just tell her politely you were looking forward to some time just the two of you.

I have a friend like this, but their child is 6 so it's a lot more irritating!!

I can understand you just wanting it to be you and your friend. However you can hardly dictate where a 19 year old woman goes. Unless it has your name over these clubs and bars ect ect. That's not a dig that's a fact

YANBU. This would drive me mad! How can your friend not see that this isn't on. Can't she have a friendship outside her DD.

To the cinema is fine as you don't chat during a film. Why does she bring her out to dinner or drinks? Does her DD just enjoy your company?

Difficult, would your friend be upset or offended if you said something?

My friend definitely would therefore we all say nothing, we love our friend and wouldn't do anything to upset her.
But yes, it's fucking annoying every time something is arranged.

I once arranged a night out, meal in a restaurant, group of friends,
One of the friends said to me that her dh suggested that she bring her toddler with her to said night out as "your friends haven't seen toddler in weeks" ... fuck that, I said absolutely not, we all have kids, it's a kid free desperately needed night off for us all.
She was offended but got over it!

Good luck op.

Ha, funny the husband made that suggestion, isn't it? "Why doesn't the toddler go out with you and your friends so that I can be a lazy arse on my own"

Indeed... indeed.

I would stop going out with her. I couldn’t offend a good friend but I don’t want to spend an evening with and extra either, just say no thanks I’m busy. Simples.

I would tell her.
If she doesn't like it, then at least she can carry on going out with her DD and you can go out with others without their kids always there.

I think this is just bizarre. Maybe she finds her daughter mature and they are cultivating a friendship, but it’s not cool to force her on you. I know someone like this, except it’s her precocious and annoying twat of a granddaughter she drags along everywhere who monopolises 95% of the conversation as she thnks she is very mature and treats the waitresses like shit because she thinks she is so cool. Can’t go out with the friend anymore as she will go along.