to be worried about maternity leave and my career?

[GamoraGreeb]

Following on from a previous thread where I seem to have asked the wrong question... did anyone else worry about their maternity leave? I am a bit concerned that I'm being phased out in the last 4 weeks of work, all work being handed over, totally out of my control and there's been no discussion about it. We've just had a new manager in who is great, and is upskilling everyone, putting them through courses, giving more responsibility etc.

I'm so, so scared to take the year I want to take and come back feeling deskilled, out of the loop, not needed, like a newbie etc. I'm only 27 and have a long career ahead of me, but I'm just so nervous about taking this time out.

AIBU to feel like this? Is it likely I will feel differently when baby is here? Feeling extremely anxious...

I felt like this too. I'm a teacher and was anxious about my classes not doing well if I left halfway through the year, missing out on departmental training, not being able to get back into it etc.

It all turnes out fine. I went back after 10 months and it was like I had never left. Personally I think the year with your baby is worth it and if you work hard you can be back where you were when you return.

YANBU. I was a bit teary over this last week! I finish 4 weeks on Friday and for the last 4 before this it's been all "X is doing this while you're off so may as well start now!" By the last fortnight I'll have very little to do.

I think life will change in so many ways that the work dynamic will be one of the lessers concerns in a year's time. I've just decided to be quite what-will-be-will-be about it an embrace change. Easier said than done after working there 11 years.

What are you expecting though? Ive had two mat leaves and both have included relinquishing control of my work. It happens. Go and enjoy your mat leave

Of course you a being phased out you are not going to be there for a year and the business still needs to run with minimal impact. It's crap for you but when your running a business needs must. I've been on mat leave for 4 months now and my replacement started just before I left. I always feel like they will be doing a better job than I did and when I go back they wish they still had the other person. I often think should I go back earlier as I've worked hard to get to my level. Then I look at my LO and think I'm never going to get this time again so even though being off work makes me anxious about what will happen on my return I know I'm doing the right thing staying off for the full year.

Why are you letting them take your work, stand up for yourself!

Just make sure you do all 10 KIT days, let them know you are definitely returning.

I got my work packages confirmed with my manager 3 weeks ago, i still have 5 weeks of maternity leave left. I am going back o to my projects, i wouldn't let them take them off me. I've stayed in touch with colleagues during he whole time i have been off, been for lunch etc so i'm still in the loop with everything.

You need to be proactive.

Unfortunatley, a lot of women go off on maternity leave saying they will return and then right at the end hand their notice in. Obviously they are entitled to do this, but from an employers point of view it must be frustrating. They have to ensure they have staff to do the work.

@lifeofdreams I would expect a little communication maybe. It's not about whether I'm expecting this or not however. It's to do with how I feel about being off on maternity leave and how I can help alleviate these feelings of helplessness. I feel really anxious about it and regardless of whether it's something to be expected or not, I'm still worried about it. It helps to hear other people's experiences.

I feel for you! It’s so hard. In my case I had nobody to hand over to until a week before I left and was making myself ill/crying at my desk about getting everything done!

It’s amazing how it all disappeared from my mind the day after I left for mat leave. Seriously - I had to have a baby now!!

You will feel completely different about the office/work when you are back. In my case they reorganised when I was off and I came back to a different role (after consultation).

I then had a second year off a year or so later for my second child and I came back to a new boss! Nothing stays the same.

Concentrate on winding down for your maternity leave.

mrs doesn't stop me worrying. I won't have a replacement (my work just gets split up). I'm hoping I will feel like you and once little one is here I will not worry too much about work and will just enjoy my time off.

I have had 2 ML, went back at the level I left at both times, part time (same employer). You do have to relinquish control! You won’t be there! I appreciate that this is a tricky concept if you are used to working full time. There is lots of law to protect you.

Enjoy your maternity leave, enjoy your baby. Take some KIT days. Don’t take a whole year if you don’t want.

Now I say this as a working parent of a 10 year old and 7 year old - your whole outlook on life is about to change. Your priorities are likely to change too. The most ball busting career woman I know packed it all in for Attachment Parenting, extended breast feeding and a very modest lifestyle. One of the least engaged workers I know found childcare so boring she came back full time as soon as she went onto SMP. I surprised myself too.

Just don’t worry.

I know I was exactly the same. I was stressing right up to the minute I left even calling colleagues to just double check things I had handed over were ok. Then after a week or so I realised there isn't much I can influence or do. I'm planning on using my KIT days after the year and hope that helps. Honestly though once you LO is here you will feel much better

Thanks mrs

I fully intend on using all 10 of my kit days if I can find childcare! Will be hard whilst breastfeeding. So much to get my head around. It's such an overwhelming time.

Thanks everyone!

My line manger let me bring my baby in for team meetings and counted this as a KIT day. As a manager a year or 2 later, I let a team member do the same.

@GamoraGreeb

Where i work, my KIT days don't have to be all day. I only have to go in for a minimum of 2hrs and do something work related and i get my SMP topped up to my normal day rate.

I don't mind winding down, I just felt like 8 weeks before I finish was a bit soon! They haven't found my replacement yet either so I'm kinda just hanging around waiting to do a handover.

That's awesome @BikeRunSki ! Can't bring my baby in here but would be great if I could.