I'm being treated differently because of my impending maternity leave...

[GamoraGreeb]

For the past two weeks, I've been treated quite differently at work. I've let my manager know that I will be going on maternity leave in mid October. Since he's known when my maternity leave is, things I have been working on seem to have gone to other people (no consultation with me, it's like I've been phased out), meetings have been held about bits of work I was previously working on and I haven't been invited, I've been given minimal work to do, no guidance and it's like I've just disappeared in to the background. I'm only just realising this over the past week. I still have 4 weeks of work left, and I am still capable of working to my full capacity and conducting a handover in the last week or so.

Has anyone else had this? AIBU to feel put out by this? I need to speak to my manager, but I'm torn. Is it worth me causing aggro when I only have 4 weeks left? Or do I think sod the aggro, impending mat leave is no reason to treat someone differently?

Feeling a bit worthless at the moment...

Of course I know I need to wind down but it's like I just have no work to do and don't exist anymore.

Just have a chat with your manager? It's pretty normal for new work to be pushed to other people, it minimises handover, especially with maternity leave, which can be brought forward unexpectedly. Current work is a bit different.

@SparklyLeprechaun I understand regarding new work. It would be pointless giving it to me, but my old work has just been lifted from under me feet with no consultation. I will speak to my manager (who annoyingly is off this week) but I'm worried I'll just come across as the 'highly strung pregnant woman' which a lot of people seem to see you as...

Really @thisisntmeok ? A month of having literally no work to do? I'm going nuts! I'm so bored. I sit at work and twiddle my thumbs at the moment. I literally have zilch to do

I think you're looking too much into it. You could suddenly go into labour and the last thing you would want to be doing while in pain/with a new born would be get in contact with work. They need to make sure all bases are covered in the event you don't show up one day as you went into labour!

@StormcloakNord I'm not due until the end of November though so I have more than two months left. It's unlikely I'll go in to labour any time soon. I'm leaving early because I have 4 weeks of leave left which I need to use.

I dunno. Maybe you're right and they're just trying to be nice. Just odd I haven't been consulted. Never mind...

Why don't you speak to the colleagues the work has been passed to and ask if they need a handover or brought up to speed. Perhaps the way your manager has gone about it wasn't the best but it is the right thing to do.

I don't think it is the right thing to do. To leave me with zero work. There's literally no use in me being here for another four weeks. I feel like a spare part. Just feel like I'm going to go a bit nuts over the next 4 weeks if it stays like this. The fact I even have time for mn is unusual as I'm usually quite busy!

Maybe I'll ask to work from home so at least I can just shove the telly on rather than stare at my desk all day

It's tricky as a lot of people do go off earlier than expected (not necessarily go into labour early but can't work as long as they want) and they will have / should have done a risk assessment showing that pregnant women tire more easily and shouldn't be stressed etc. Unfortunately people do start to phase you out as they are aware you are going to be off for a number of months and they need to get used to it. It does feel weird though especially if you like your job and like working especially if it's your first, the mindset of stopping working for a while is actually very difficult to get your head around. I got cut out of lots of meetings and socialising stuff as people assumed I didn't want to travel or go out. Also a lot of people change their mind about their career after kids and don't want to go back or want to go back for fewer days etc. I'd just make a joke of it as in I'm pregnant not dead! Also I just did lots of little jobs to help my colleagues out rather than take any bigger projects on. Was a bit boring but passed the time and also built up some brownie points. Also told everyone that would listen that I was definitely coming back and needed the money - I didn't but didn't want them thinking I might change my mind. As a result they were quite good at keeping in touch during maternity leave.

A word of warning though - I felt so good at 35 weeks, was due to go off at 38 weeks but I asked if I could be paid to work another week or so. By 36 weeks I was so tired I suddenly stopped being able to sleep more than a few hours at night, in 1 hour blocks. Things can change pretty fast!

Thanks @AmIRightOrAMeringue - it is a really weird feeling. I feel quite insecure about work. As much as I can't wait to meet baby, I am worried about the workplace continuing without me and coming back and feeling completely deskilled. I think I'm just feeling overly anxious and hate feeling like I'm just not needed. Worried about having such a long time off. I love my job and am worried I'll come back and will feel penalised for taking a year out...

Maybe that's the issue... my anxiety about coming back to work to find everything has changed... maybe I need to ask a different question on a different thread... feeling really unsettled

I felt exactly the same. Id worked continuously 14 years before maternity and was forced to take a years annual leave before my due date - I hated it. It was do odd not being able to tick competed tasks off at home!
I did keep up to date with emails - they gradually trailed off and I didn't action anything but it did help me feel more connected to have a general idea of what was going on.

I wish I'd asked one specific person to keep a note for the year of updates and things I needed to look into on my return as people kept forgetting to tell me what had changed which could have led to some bad mistakes if they'd not been spotted. If you don't ask one person to be responsible for it before you go then no one will remember what happened 6 or 8 months ago to tell you about.

I did need to kind of prove myself again when I got back - there was a big project where I had to put in a lot of hours over evenings and weekends but it paid off and I got promoted. There was another girl who returned at the same time as me who went the opposite way, and ended up leaving. As long as you still care about your job and work hard then people will realise they still need you!

The first couple of months at home really dragged for me but after that it really whizzed by then when you go in everyone cant believe it's been a whole year. I couldn't remember how to type the first couple of days back then by the end of a couple of weeks it was like I'd never been away!

Also I did 2 or 3 kit days and they really helped build confidence back up and remind everyone I was coming back

Hope that's helped reassure you a tiny bit...?

My company had some quite major changes when I was away. It actually helped not having to go through it when everyone else did. There wasn't the resistance to change like I normally have - it was just the accepted way of doing things and all the teething troubles had been ironed out already so I just had to learn everything at once rather than version 1 2 3 etc etc. I got one to one coaching on changes to bring me up to speed instead of sitting through presentations like everyone else had done. It all turned out much better than I thought. Please try not to worry

So taking work of someone who is going on mat leave isn't the right thing to do ok then. As I said speak to your colleagues about handover etc I am sure there will be things you can help out with.

Do you get on with your colleagues? Can you go and meet people for lunch when you've had the baby? You'll get a much better idea of how things are going without you than keeping up just through official channels

Is it possible your manager has been given instructions to phase you out, to minimise handover, and is assuming you have had that discussion with HR? My management never knew what HR had told me or hadn't. It sounds a lot like an overzealous manager trying to document that they're being organised, to someone above them. Is there any supported training you can do in these weeks, computer skills etc? It will look better is you go to your manager saying "I'd like to spend these weeks shadowing someone above me, or supporting a younger colleagues development so the time isn't wasted". Suggest work you can do that won't require a handover or client explanation is you are pulled out at short notice.

@mrs2468 minimising my workload with discussion with me, yes. Taking all of my work away and leave me to stare at a blank screen for 4 weeks, no...

Possibly hlr - I'm really lost and just want to spend the next four weeks contributing to SOMETHING. He's off for a week now but I'm struggling to find much to do in the meantime as we have specific caseloads. My cases have all been reassigned and I've not had any discussion about it.

I'm actually in the exact same position right now, due to go on maternity leave at the end of this week. It really feels like I'm becoming a ghost. The person covering my leave was also an applicant for my job when I was appointed - coming a close second, and I genuinely feel like I'm being replaced.

I've no advice to offer, only wanted to say you are not alone!

I already said it wasn't the right way to go about it ie leave you with nothing but handing the work out so your employer is not exposed is correct. You need to speak to your boss when they are back but I'm sure colleagues will have things that they need a hand with until then.