I feel really sorry for your DD’s friend. She’s visiting for a week, essentially a holiday, but since her family are used to dumping care of the GP on her, they want to do it again, just because she’s there. She probably thought she’d pop in and visit after catching up with her friends, like young people do, because, you know – they have a life too. Or they do if they’re not burdened with caring responsibilities way before their time. Now she’s very upset because she didn’t say ‘how high?’ when older relatives ordered her to jump. Why in hell should she get her leisure time wrecked like this? Taking an elder to hospital appointments is not fun, it’s not a holiday, it’s bloody hard work. Why can’t the adult children, the generation above her, step up instead of dumping it all on her? And no, it’s not that easy to manage these things at 20, she’s very young, it’s very unfair. I was barely prepared for caring for my elderly parent in my 40s, it’s a very steep learning curve and hard work. And people like Keirenthecommunity (oh how droll, you care and it’s all about community, yeah on your terms) just love to tell others what to do, what ‘they would do’, don’t they? How kind of them to tell other people, usually women, what to do with their life and how to sacrifice it with fuck all thanks at the end. Tell your DD’s friend she has NO obligation, none, unless she wants to visit. Still, they’ve fucked up her time away already, haven’t they? Talk about FOG, fear of family disapproval, obligation to not one but two older generations and guilt if she doesn’t spend all her free time looking after the GP the minute something happens. Tell her she does have the option to tell them to fuck off and sort it themselves. That’s also an adult response.