To ask sister if shes sure shes making the right decision?

[milkytea]

I don't normally get involved with other peoples decisions. We all make mistakes and learn from them. However, DSis (I'll call her Jane) is ,21 and has been with her DP for just under a year. She's never moved out of the family home, and is very dependant on DM to do all the cleaning/cooking/ etc. She has now decided to move out and live with her DP. However they're just outright buying a house. Her DP wants to live near his family, so she has to move almost two hours away from all the family and friends. She's found the house she likes, has been accepted for a mortgage, and is very serious about this. Im just very concerned that she's only known this guy 11 months, they've never spent more than 2 nights with each other, and instead of renting or one of them moving in with the other (DM was fine with him moving there if DSis really wanted that), they're buying a house.

I want to make sure she definitely knows what she's getting into. But she's the kind of person who will get offended by being questioned on her choices

AIBU to voice my concerns?

I think it's fine to raise your concerns in a measured way the once. But if she doesn't change her mind then I think you'll just have to drop the subject.

Buying is more of a commitment than renting, but it's not an irreversible decision (like having kids!). If it doesn't work out they can sell the place, albeit potentially at a bit of a loss, once fees and everything are taken into account, but it's hardly a disaster. And if it does work out, they will likely be financially better off having bought a place sooner rather than having done more years of renting.

On your point about her being very dependent on your DM, this move might actually be very good for her, as it'll force her to become more independent and grown up, since she can't just go to your mum's at a drop of a hat. Unless there's some SN or something you're not mentioning, at 21 she should be more than capable of learning the skills she needs to live away from home. Everyone has to take the plunge at some point.

I moved country at 21, moved back to the UK and bought a house at 23, DP and I moved in together after 2 weeks (and that was only because I was on holiday for one of them).

Some of the things I did worked out, some didn't, but I'm glad I did them all - I really seem to learn best only by making mistakes!

I bought a house at 21 with my ex and we split 18 months later and sold at a profit. I'd say mind your own business. Why waste money renting if she's in a position to buy?

Do you own your own home OP?

You need to keep your neck out, op. Your sister's private life is none of your business, and any mistakes are hers to make. If you really want to piss her off and alienate her, then by all means tell her she's being hasty and daft. But who are you to decide this? Leave her the hell alone.