Struggling with the prospect of returning to work.

[popsanddolls]

Im due to return to mu job in education at the end of October. I'm struggling mentally with this.... here a bit of background

Last year was horrific. I lost a baby at 14 weeks. Work were unsympathetic. No leniance or anything. Doctor signed me off for a week.

3 weeks later I was then offered a job role to start the following term I was perfect for and expressed to my boss how happy I was. Later that day was rushed to hospital on pain. Found out I was pregnant again and it was ectopic. Contacted worked straight away to explain the situation. Following day received a text from college to say boss had now said I was no longer being given to role o was offered. Apparently she got my role wrong. Even tho I seen her read if from her paperwork. Too much on a coincidence I think.

Anyway doc signed me off whilst by body dealt with what was happening with numerous hospital appointments. I did go in work one day due to pressure was immediately sent onto playground duty. Line manager knew I was in pain and actively bleeding whilst my body was naturally expelling the ectopic.

I returned to work 2 weeks later full time. And discovered I was pregnant again. I dealt with a lot of dirty looks and snide comments zero sympathy or concern from any staff. My doctor signed me off in November due to stress and anxiety until my maternity leave started in the January.

AIBU to be stressing and getting anxious about my return to work. I can't afford not to return. I've tried to find a way to survive on benefits and it doesn't look feesable. When my daughter was born I received no congratulations from any one at work, nothing. Even tho every parent who has given birth in the 5 years I've worked there receives flowers and a gift from all the staff from the collection that they do.

Mentally I just don't fell ready to face these people and the anxiety I feel about it. AIBU to consider speaking to my doctor and getting signed off sick?

No nasty comments please

Oh gosh OP I’m so sorry you’ve been such a terrible time. Your work colleagues sound awful. If you intend to continue working there I would suggest reframing your expectations of them ( not that they were unreasonable any way!) , and just expect nothing and keep your head down and get on with your job. It won’t be fun, but might help your mental health if you have to go back? I think you should look for another job if you can though, they sound like such horrid people!

And yes definitely speak to your dr!

Well, the problem is the longer you delay it, the worse you're going to feel. You can't put it off forever; you have to go back sometime. And, as you say, you can't afford to live on benefits. Plus, extended sick leave doesn't look good on your CV - future employers don't like it. I would suggest you go back now, but look for another job.

Thanks guys. I've just rang and spoken to HR department. They were fantastic and said I could go off for 6 months and then if I still feel unable to return hand my notice in.

I might consider this and look for something working from home. Even writing this post I was getting anxious.

I don't suffer from anxiety in every day life. Xx

Sorry to hear you had to go through such an awful time. As much as I sympathise I would really try dig deep and hold your head up high and return to your job. Don’t let them win. You deserve to be there and enjoy your work. Have you considered some CBT to help with the anxiety?

They sound awful - I would definitely be looking for another job. Is that a possibility for you?

I can get in with my doctor 11th October to discuss cbt.

I'm going to start looking for alternative work this week. I think the stress returning there would cause would impact on my home life as it did last time. Thanks guys