Holiday over 1st bday

[noobs18]

I guess this is more of a wwyd than aibu

Dh and I have a 6 month old ds, we'll be spending Xmas (so ds first Xmas) with my family, seeing his family on Boxing day.

My family are now discussing a family holiday next year which will fall over ds 1st bday. I think as my family are spending 1st Xmas with ds, dh's family might want to see him for 1st bday. Not necessarily on his bday but I'm sure they'll want to see him that week so going away for a whole week seems a little unfair. Pil are really involved with ds, see us most weeks and look after him for a few hours every couple of weeks. My family don't see him much and have never had him on their own. But we did go on a family holiday with dh's family this summer and not with mine (because my family didn't do a whole family holiday this year)

Dh thinks it's fine to go away with my family but I'm worried pil will be disappointed (and definitely too polite to say anything)

Just wanted other people's opinions on whether I'm completely over-thinking this or if we should skip the holiday

Just so I don't drip-feed the holiday dates are non-negotiable due to work/school commitments of various family members

You are over thinking it!

Meh. Personally I think first birthdays are non events. The poor little bugger hasn't a clue what's going on. Different when they know what it's all about.

No babies don’t know it’s their birthday (as plenty will tell you) but I think your PILs are likely to be disappointed you’ll be away for the full week over his birthday.
Especially as that will rule out seeing you all the weekends either side.

Your DH doesnt think its a problem but would you be happy to do the reverse to your parents? I think whatever your answer is should inform your decision

Hi, we went on holiday over my dd's first birthday with my parents. I remember thinking the same as you.

I did want to mark the occasion though. We took some small gifts. I took some cake decorations and candles with me and ordered a cake from a local bakery.

In laws did a separate birthday tea as soon as we got back. They weren't bothered at the time but since then they've always wanted to celebrate the dc's birthdays when it's convenient for them which is fine.

I think birthdays are not a big deal at this age but you should do something.

Thanks for the responses. I agree ds won't know it's his bday, but pil will know so I'm thinking of them more than him

If it was the other way round, I would go away with pil and not worry about my family, but the difference is my family aren't really involved with ds and don't see him regularly. We're much closer to pil and I know they'd make the effort to see him for his bday or one of the weekends either side

Sounds like they are very hands on with DS and love to be involved with him, which is lovely obviously.

They will probably be a bit upset from how you've described them tbh. Could you spend Christmas with them instead of your parents or is that too difficult to rearrange now? Failing that say you'll spend Christmas Day with them next year?