Rear or forward facing?

[LyndorCake]

Okay, posting here for traffic really. I know what the research says and I know what the guidelines are, but I need to hear from some people with real life experience. When did you switch your car seat from rear to forward facing?

DS is nearly 2 and I know he should be rear facing until 4 however everyone I know have already turned the seat around. DH wants to change it, DPs want to change it, ILS want to change it, it's only me who is insisting on keeping him rear facing (which they are all doing without argument btw, no bad feelings going on here).
I'm just wondering if 4 is realistic? And if you have managed to keep them rear facing until 4, how did you manage? Physically I struggle to get DS in the car seat as it is (when he protests).

DD 2.5 is rear facing and can climb in herself now (Polo so possibly easier in smaller car) which makes it much easier. We spent lots of money on a mammoth rear facing seat that you can move further away from the seat to give more leg room, except then the front seat would be too far forward for anyone to sit! Saying that, the main reason for buying it was the safety reviews. We have had comments from taxi drivers etc but DD is happy. We will move her to a booster at around 4 when she outgrows this seat's weight limit and we need it for DC2.

@Fatted

I fit a Klippan Triofix Recline with a spacer behind me as the driver. I am 5'5".

The Cybex Sirona goes behind the passenger seat which is usually empty but my husband fits. He cannot fit with the Klippan though.

Ford Focus for the last 4 years. DD1 just above 50th centile. DD2 is wee though.

Just tested a Skoda Superb Estate. It cavernous!

My DS is nearly 3 and half. He is quite small for his age so I have no plans to turn him soon. He has been able to climb up himself for awhile now, his seat is belted so I just hold that out of the way.

I don't really get why there is any debate about it really, it's safer and that's that. Why other people feel a need to comment about what you should be doing is also beyond me.

Most kids will be fine forward facing early as long as you don't have a nasty accident. Then you might wish otherwise.

To me it's all about proportions. Part of the safety factor is how large a child's head is in relation to their body and the softness of the ligaments in their neck. This makes the kind of movement that happens in a forward facing seat more destructive and likely to cause injury compared to an adult facing the same way. It's also why the longer you can eke out rear facing the less this is an issue, as they become more in proportion and their ligaments get stronger.

I'd do some reading about exactly why it's safer then make your own decision based on balancing that information and what works for you and your son. Here is a good place to start.

If you do decide to remain rearfacing, arming yourself with knowledge will help you deal with other people's uninformed opinions. I got a lot of comments from my parents and the in laws with my first but it soon became clear I saw the situation as my child, my decision and now I'm left alone. My SIL even said the in laws were "pandering" to me by using the rear facing seat I provided. Keeping my child maximally safe, what pandering idiots.

Mine's rear facing at almost 2 but I will probably turn her soon. I don't know anyone in real life who rear faces past about 18 months so I always find this discussion interesting on Mumsnet.

Meant to say most people seem to have forward facing. Rear facing are generally so much more expensive which is an issue.

@Fatted I have to admit we only use 25kg rear facing seats and they both use seat belts rather than Isofix (Britax Max Way and Axkid Minikids) - Personally I find Isofix more limiting because your more limited by the weight restrictions that the Isofix can take.

Weight isn't so much of an issue. It is height with my children. My 5YO is 4ft tall and my 3YO is over 3ft already.

I am only 5ft 1 myself so behind me there is plenty of room. Not so much behind DH!

My DD is 4.5 and rear-facing in a Maxi-Cosi 2 way pearl. She’s only 13.5kg and under 25th centile for height so hoping she’ll be in it until she finishes reception. She occasionally asks why she’s still rear facing and I just explain that it’s safer until she grows a bit. She seems to accept this so far. All the grandparents think we are mad and we are “babying” her but I have no idea why they think forward facing is a treat in any way!

Ds3 is 2.4 and still rear facing in a klippan kiss.

Ds2 who is now 9 was rear facing until 4, which was very unusual then. The only place you could get the seats was online or the in car safety centre which was luckily about an hour and a half away so doable. We had the besafe izu combi. That was a brilliant seat, it felt like a tank!!!

We had the besafe first of all in a fiat multipla, which is pretty big inside (world’s ugliest car but goodness it was so practical!! Loved it). Then in a Kia ceed so not a big car at all. It also fitted in small courtesy car when i was involved in an accident. We now have a Citroen c4 Picasso which is big but has blooming useless floor cupboards which limited our choice of seats due to leg support.

Ds3 is fairly normal weight and height. I’m hoping he’ll fit in the klippan kiss until 4. If he doesn’t I’m not sure if we would buy a 25kg rear facing or turn him. I guess it will depend how close to 4 he is.

Poor ds1 (now 15). He was turned at 7months!!! He was a v tall baby (off the chart for height). We were told by mamas and papas it was fine to turn him at 7m as he could hold his head up and support himself so it would be fine!

When my eldest DC grew out of her infant carrier, there was only about 2 rear facing seats on the market and at £400 I couldn't afford so she went forward facing around 18 months I think.

DS is still rear facing at 3.5 years and I think he'll fit his seat for at least another year. He is beginning to make noises about going forward facing but I ignore him. He's forward facing in my DHs car and he just looks a bit vulnerable.

Rear facing until 4.5. My child is quite small and was in a britax dualfix- swivels which is great on your back! I would never change just because others do - I was the only person I know to RF even past 1! Research shows it's much safer and that's all that mattered to me.

My dd is four now and moved to a high backed booster in my car just after her birthday. Still rear facing in her dad’s car though (as that car seat is rf till 25kg). Never had any complaints about going backwards.

My DS is rear facing at age 2.5. He has plenty of space when the seat is reclined but when he's sat up his legs are quite bent. He hasn't complained about it though so will continue as long as possible. I think I only know one other child who is still rear facing at the same age. I think it's due to the cost but also other friends know about ERF but don't really care

My 4 year old has just started school and was rear facing until then. My parents were the ones who couldn't understand why I kept him rear facing so long despite my numerous explanations. He was never bothered and happily found ways to put his legs (he's not tall for his age!)

DD1 went FF at 3 and a half. She was complaining her legs hurt in the car so we begrudgingly changed her round. Now she keeps DD2 entertained as they can see each other. DD2 will be RF as long as we can. Even at 18 months she isn't yet 9kg so can't FF even if we wanted to.

Ds moved to ff at 3.9 when he outgrew our besafe izi Combi. He’s quite big for his age.
In real life I only actually know a couple of people who kept their dc rear facing as long as we did which always really puzzled me as 2 minutes of reading makes it pretty clear it’s a no brainer really. The seats can be expensive - ours was £380, but these days there are cheaper options I think. But people I know would always say their dc was just happier ff or looked more comfortable or they just automatically moved them to ff when they outgrew their babyseat. I do find it odd, to be honest. (I do understand that financially it may not be possible, or for medical reasons and also eg with car sick children it may seem the lesser of 2 evils!) But at the end of the day we spend a lot of time driving and I want my children to be as safe as possible.

DS 1 was 8 months - this was a long time ago and he was MASSIVE - weight of an 'average' two year old at 8 months so didnt fit infant carrier any more.

DS2 was 3.5. I really wanted him RF until 4 but was sold a really small ERF seat (bad advice from a specialist who clearly valued a sale more than child safety) and he outgrew it by height at 3.5.

I managed using a britax dualfix I think it's called. It twisted round so made things so much easier

Kippax triofix RF in a supermini until 4.5. Only ever met one other family that did it. Comments from well-meaning (interfering) adults about turning forward were water off a duck's back.

We kept my dd rear facing until just after her third birthday, would have kept her longer as she never complained but our baby needed the seat and at £400 I wasn’t going to buy another one!!
She faced forward in other people’s cars and never complained about being rear facing In mine... I wouldn’t have cared if she did because we travel a lot and I watched a crash test of my car and that was the answer for me :)

My tall 18 month old is in a Minikid rear facing, I’ll keep her in it for as long as she fits. My older two were forward facing around this age but then I didn’t have the knowledge of how much safer it is to rear face - they are much older.

It’s still a pretty new concept in the UK and I found it a bit of a minefield buying the correct seat, without a fair bit of knowledge it’s really hard to get a seat that fits your child and fits your car safely.

The majority of people think it’s a bit of a strange concept, but then my 9 year old is still in a high back booster and his classmates haven’t been for ages, so I’m used to doing what I think is safest rather than what everyone else is doing!

Few weeks off his 5th birthday. Never regretted it despite funny looks from some.

Watch the crash test videos and look at the age it is the law in other countries such as Sweden and decide what you feel is best.

The car seat we had was the same one we turned around at 5yrs so was no bigger than a FF.

Okay so I've just spent my lunch hour watching videos on this and reading about it and you're all right. I can't change him round.

Rear until about 4 for both of mine