DD keeps going down in the middle of the night and eating a lot.

[Milkbottlelid]

Hello, DD is 15 and keeps getting up at around 2:30am to make a sandwich/cheese on toast, crisps, put freezer food in the oven, etc.

I've spoken to her about it and told her not to and ever since then, she just pretends she doesn't (she clearly does as food is going like we're feeding the whole street) and I sometimes hear her up.

I'm not sure what to do really? I've approached her a couple of times and she just says she hasn't and will just lie about it. Sometimes she admits it but then gets very defensive about me replying

She has gained some weight and I'm worried about the health impact.

How long has this been going on?

Give her a snack box of stuff to keep in her room and put a lock on the kitchen door?

Rule of the house says no cooking after 9pm here, in case something she left on by a sleepy person.

Been going on around 6 months I'd say.

I wasn't sure if a lock on the door would be extreme.

Have you noticed anything else ‘out of sorts’?
Just thinking, it’s unlikely she’s waking up at that time to go down and eat. Is she staying awake until the house is quiet?
If that’s the case, she’s not sleeping properly either.
Exam anxiety?
Rather than confronting her about the midnight feasts have you tried exploring other areas of her life?

Sounds like she's staying up far too late and needing another meal. This happens to me when I'm studying or working into the night, another meal time rolls round. You need to look around the food issue into what and why she is doing

She gets up okay in the morning and seems okay. Doesn't ever seem sleep deprived. I assumed she was waking up.

It's fine if it's just another meal (well not really but understandable) but she'll make a sandwich, have crisps, put a packet mac and cheese in, maybe some potato waffles etc, all in the space of an hour. And that's after her 3 meals a day.

I still think it sounds emotional rather than just food. That’s an enormous amount of food in one go.
Obviously it depends on the relationship you have with dd, and I know a 15yo is a bag of hormones waiting to explode, but my advice would be to say something like “ sweetheart, you do know you can talk to me about anything, well, I’m a little concerned that you’re not entirely happy”

OP it may be worth finding out if she skipping meals at school and this is why she needs food in the night ?

How much weight has she put on. It could be many things ideas that spring to mind are anxiety(exam related?), eating disorder, hidden pregnancy, depression, insomnia. I think you need to have a conversation with her and also mention the weight gain (in a sensitive way) It could be that she just can't sleep and she is doing it to pass the time.

Can I ask if you've noticed that more toilet roll is going missing? I have a DD with bulimia who used to eat in secret and then vomit - I didn't have a clue about the vomiting initially she was very clever about hiding it. Please don't mention about the weight gain this will be a massive trigger to her.

Are you sure she’s not smoking weed

Good point about the munchies Carver but I would have thought op would have noticed other signs?

She has gained enough that her clothes are now tight. So much to be considered. I am almost entirely sure it's not weed!!

It's weird that its happening at the same time isn't It? I have no theories but it is strange.

I am probably paranoid but I would worry about pregnancy. I never stopped eating through each of mine.

Bloody hell gareth! That’s going to chuff op right up! Good point mind.
Op, it could be anything tbf. You haven’t mentioned anything about her in general, friends, boyfriends, school life etc

She has a few friends, no boyfriend. She's generally quite a shy kid. Doesn't seem to have any problems, doesn't have to try to hard at school, she rarely seems stressed by school. Her potential is much higher, but she's happy not putting much work in and doing average.

She honestly seems normal and happy. I have no idea what it is.

Could she be binge eating and then purging (vomiting)?...

Has she put on weight with the nocturnal eating? (Could she have an over eating/binge eating disorder)

Op it doesn't sound like a normal bedtime snack, you need to sit down with her and have a honest heart to heart and ask her what is really going on (tell her you won't be mad, but you need to know so you can help her)..

If she won't talk to you about it and it continues, you might want to ask a dr for advice on whether they think it sounds normal to secret binge eat to the extent she is doing and maybe the dr can give you advice on how to handle it

Also is there any chance she could be pregnant?

Aintnothingbutaheartache i know I sound paranoid but don't believe the OP hasn't at least considered it.

Whatever it Is, there is something. Please talk to her.

I used to do this OP. I’m 30 now and have had an eating disorder my entire life.

I too am normal and happy- great friends and family, engaged, love my job etc. I’ve tried all sorts of therapy and people insist that there must be something wrong, some hole I’m trying to fill. There isn’t- I just have an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food. Sometimes these things come out of nowhere.

Please put a stop to this now. My mum turned a blind eye and I have no idea why. I needed to be stopped when it started. Put a lock on the fridge, the cupboard. Hide or lock away literally everything. Talk to her. She won’t thank you for it but if you don’t stem this now then it may eventually consume her existence as it has mine.

DH used to be a sleepwalker until his sleep apnea got sorted. He would always head straight for the fridge and stuff himself. Zero recollection in the morning.

When you hear her up at night, could you sneak out and see exactly what she’s up to? Not to scare her or have a big confrontation, just to get an idea of what exactly she’s doing?

I would be concerned with her up past 2am. I doubt she is only waking up. Is she online until all hours. Her digestive system will reek havoc.

As long as she is fine and just in a bad routine, I would turn off the WiFi by 11pm, give her some snacks fruit, crisp if she wants a sandwich let her make it earlier and lock the kitchen door by 11pm she will get bored and break the habit.

I don’t think a dr would be much help really. You’ve got to talk to her op, somethings not right and I’m sure she’s not happy. No 15yo enjoys putting on weight. Food is often a comfort.
Time to go to go if you unearth something else that you’re not happy about.
I am thinking of you here, good luck x

I had a sleep eating friend at uni. She’d wake in the morning surrounded by packets and wrappers —always junk food. She was otherwise a very normal, slim, happy woman, with no obvious food issues- except the sleep eating.

No idea how it planned out, as we moved into different houses- but maybe worth considering?

TheSheepofWallSt she is putting on weight though. I dont know enough about eating disorders bit if that'xs what it was would she have put on such a significant amount of weight in 6 months? If it was exam or stress related would it have been constant for this long?

Sorry OP I have no answers. Just questions.