I have seen psychiatrists since I was 15 (now 43) I've never been off the book since.
The very first one sticks out in my mind as there wasn't a CAMHs service so I ended up with her in adult service, she admitted me to a ward at 3am with a lot of dementia patients as she thought an acute ward would be frightening for me. (go figure)
As I was very slim and wouldn't eat the hospital food the first couple of days (you could turn the dishes upside down and they wouldn't move, the food was so solid) she decided I had an eating disorder apart from other problems so I was fitted with an NG tube to get food in, 3/4 days of not eating but still drinking fluids wasn't actually going to do a 15 year old any harm but what did I know.
After 2 weeks I was allowed to go to OT, which entailed playing bingo to win cigarettes, I kept winning which was good however I didn't smoke so they were pointless to me. She was a deeply religious woman and spoke about God a lot, whereas I wasn't. When I was discharged she advised me to go to mass and sit near the front and that would help me a lot. (it didn't). She retired the following year and went to Africa to work with a charitable organisation.
I met various consultants in my time but the one I have now, we don't get along at all. He is completely closed off and doesn't want to hear what I think on anything If I get upset its a manifestation of my illness, doesn't want to know of side effects from all the meds I have been on. (my diagnosis has been changed since he arrived and when he was away on a research placement for 3 years the replacement psych rediagnosed me during a hospital stay - to schizoaffective disorder which was my diagnosis before the current one arrived originally - and when he came back he told me I pulled the wool over Dr Xs eyes and I wasn't fooling him) - so I was back to a personality disorder.
Apparently, I'm not depressed, I'm attention seeking. That would explain my last attempt which led to me lying in ICU for several days, I had absolutely no intention of waking up.
I can recall one med, in particular, it was the cause of my periods stopping for over 2 years but he wouldn't concede to this at all, I was also leaking breast milk constantly and my breasts were constantly engorged and I had about 5 bouts of mastitis.
The GP kept getting appointments with psych as knew this was a side effect of X med but apparently I was making it all up according to the psych. That's a pretty hard symptom to "fake" if I was going to fake something I would have gone for something easier.
I finally asked the secretary for a first appointment of the day which was a 9.30am and so as soon as the outpatients centre opened I went and sat, at 9.05am as he swiped himself thru the panelled doors, I said "look dry tee shirt" he just stared thru me, by 9.30am I had soaked a set of breast pads, my bra and my tee shirt. He finally agreed to change the med and Ive never had that problem since once the med got out of my system over the days that followed.
The psych took me off everything except this drug as it "was safe in pregnancy" even if I was in denial about it. I now know the drug wasn't safe in pregnancy either.
That was a long non-pregnancy with a massive relapse afterwards due to being pulled off the other meds which were keeping me stable due to my "pregnancy" even tho all tests showed I wasn't and never have been.
I was in hospital afterwards for 11 months. Due to his balls up, I was cared for on a different ward as the situation is unworkable.
He is like a cardboard cut out, doesn't want to hear what patients have to say and so since that suicide attempt I have been reallocated to the trust grade psych as I have refused to work with him as I put in complaints about how I was treated which he tried to obstruct, he eventually had to apologise for his poor treatment and conduct.
I will be stuck on his ward if I end up in hospital again. I have made legal provision for that event as too much shit has happened and have been guaranteed by the trust that will be overseen by the other ward psychs due to his apology and what was covered in it.
God complex and some psychs - totally - I say some as I have met some brilliant ones who really give a damn and work with the patient to find the best outcome for them. The trust grade is one of them, he gives a damn.
For someone who isn't depressed that would explain why I'm on 2 antidepressants, mood stabiliser, antipsychotic (although apparently, I don't have psychosis) and an antiepileptic to help boost the mood stabiliser. All started by the other psychs who actually cared and wanted to try and treat the symptoms as they saw them in front of them.
I saw the trust grade a couple of weeks ago and I asked him something from my notes, he started to laugh a bit and said I only have this year and last years in front of me, we are in volume 7 of your outpatient notes now. I asked how many volumes were of my inpatient, he just said multiple filing cabinets worth.
Feels better for getting that out. @BooooHiss I hear you, esp post #3
I went on to work with people with severe mental illness as a support worker, I also saw how they were treated, some had addiction problems, some were homeless, some were treated like pure shit and rarely they were treated with the dignity of a person with an illness and going to see someone who was meant to help them