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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think a woman should be able to go in the gym without being gorped and sniggered at

41 replies

Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 18:26

Ok just back from the gym and pretty mad to be honest.
I use the weights gym which is separate from the cardio area. Yes I appreaciate it's a fairly masculine domain but still. The entire time I spend lifting weights and trying to work out in there, two young lads were literally gorping, sniggering and even walking behind me to blatantly watch while I was trying to work out.
Did I miss the memo?is that all women are good for? Can't even work out without being demoralised and reduced to something to stare at.
Although minor smug gloat as I left the weights on the Smith machine bar after I had used them,and one of the lads tried to lift it and had to take some off.
Still all in all pretty pissed off.
Anyone else get this?

OP posts:
45redballoons · 17/09/2018 18:30

I definitely don’t get this as I look a right state at the gym!

I’ve actually been surprised, but I’ve certainly never noticed men doing this to women in the number of gyms I’ve been at. I’m sure they check out the hot women, but Ibfind most people are just concentrating on themselves.

I’m sorry you had that, it must be frustrating and ruin your time to de stress by lifting heavy things.

AsAProfessionalFekko · 17/09/2018 18:30

You didn't point and do a loud Nelson Muntz 'HA Haaa!'?

I find a glaswegian growl of 'and what the fuck are you looking at?' works beautifully.

Nothisispatrick · 17/09/2018 18:31

That’s never happened to me at the gym. Complain to staff? They sound very immature and pathetic.

SpoonBlender · 17/09/2018 18:32

Teenageish boys are such jerks when they're in a huddle...

Get the staff to tell them to sod off. The gym will not be wanting to have that sort of thing going on, it reduces their subscription numbers.

Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 18:37

I usually would have said something,not particularly sure why I didn't. Guess it made me feel a little on the back foot really. Usually don't have a problem with the blokes in there. Have had the occasional smirk when I head to the weights rack but never followed round like these two clowns did. Don't understand why men get all testosteroney about women being in there. Are we not supposed to work out or something.

OP posts:
AGirlinLondon · 17/09/2018 18:39

Imagine also being eight months pregnant and doing this.

People don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re staring at me.

And I don’t care.

Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 18:39

May I add I have 3 young kids. Youngest is autistic and I'm his carer full time. So the hour in the gym 3 times a week is my only time to have a little me time and distress. These two cockwombles just ruined it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 18:40

@agirlinlondon I like your style. I know I shouldn't care. I wouldn't usually . Must have caught me on an off day

OP posts:
Lockheart · 17/09/2018 19:06

Groping or gawping??

If it’s the first then get the police involved! Either way you should have a word with gym staff - that sort of behaviour should never be tolerated.

Lethaldrizzle · 17/09/2018 19:11

No I don't believe I've ever been gawped at in a gym. Maybe you are more gorgeous than most!

AgentProvocateur · 17/09/2018 19:14

Groped or gawped at? Makes a big difference!

Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 19:15

No no not groped. I'd have beat them round the the head with a dumbbell. I'm not gorgeous by any stretch of the word. I had a cap on no makeup and was very sweaty.

OP posts:
GunpowderGelatine · 17/09/2018 19:17

That's crap OP. I've had this in th gym too, I now go to a women only gym!

Branleuse · 17/09/2018 19:18

i think id talk to a member of staff if this happened. Its not ok

Oddcat · 17/09/2018 19:20

You should have humoured them !

'Ooh you look so strong , let me see how much you can lift , 30kg , oh I'm sure you can manage more than that , here let me help you '

IThinkILoveAI · 17/09/2018 19:25

This is NOT ok. I used to go to a local authority gym right next to the local
Sixth form which did discounted memberships for the students. Which is fine in principle. However, big groups of teenage girls and boys used to congregate around the machines behaving like animals in heat.

The final straw for me was when I witnessed a large group of teenage girls mocking a slightly overweight woman on a treadmill and management did nothing about it when I complained.

I now go to an adults only gym where any nonsense like you had today would be squashed immediately both by staff and other members.

Definitely complain OP. The manager might be able to identify the culprits and potentially ban them.

Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 19:27

@oddcat this may be my new tactic.
@gunpowder no women only gyms in my area. Shame as I bet it's bliss not having to worry about this sort of thing. I think I may mention it to the manager. Not very nice to feel that way when I pay a membership and just want to get on with what I'm doing

OP posts:
Courtney555 · 17/09/2018 19:27

This is why I don't use a gym. Been twice. Stared at so much the first time I was the colour of a beetroot, and not due to the exercise.

Second time the bloke that owned it, came and started to clean the side of the machine I was on while I was on the damn thing! Stared at my bum, grinning and raising his eyebrows like something out of a sketch show.

I left a very accurate review on their Facebook page. Turns out a lot of other women had been privy to his perving and the place got pretty flamed.

The two boys need addressing. It's not ok to leer like that. Speak to the manager and let them know that you are making a complaint about the conduct of two other members. They do it again, their membership should be revoked.

GunpowderGelatine · 17/09/2018 19:31

OP talk to the manager maybe ask about women only sessions? My women only gym is fab, it's so nice to have clean wipes seats on the exercise bikes, not some 20st man's arse sweat that he thinks he's too good to wipe off!

I have to say it really depresses me when people answer for harassment is humour them, do something funny, flirt etc. It's NOT ok what they're doing and they do not deserve to be merely humoured

MaggieAndHopey · 17/09/2018 19:36

I spend what feels like most of my life in the weights area and rarely get gawped at, though sometimes I do notice that this one particular chap likes to use the shoulder press machine behind me just when I'm doing romanian deadlifts. But I might be being paranoid. I don't think my arse is anything to write home about.

However, I can see it would be irritating. You should have racked your weights though. Wink

Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 19:37

-courtney that is disgusting! What honestly gives them the right to do this. Not even trying to hide it either it's awful. Makes you feel like a piece of meat doesn't it

OP posts:
Original poster
Changedforpost · 17/09/2018 19:39

Gunpowder I may do that actually it's a great idea. I have friends who want to come and do weights with me but the male aspect puts them off.
Maggie he sounds like he enjoys your arse The pervy git

OP posts:
ShotsFired · 17/09/2018 19:45

It's a perennial problem.

I know several women who get the same treatment, or incessant, unwanted, unasked for "help" even if they know exactly what they're doing. I don't know the answer apart from separate areas but they usually end up being pink 1kg weights Angry

(I am fortunate to be at a gym which happens to have a woman owner and all bar one coach are women, so I don't think any bloke would dare!)

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 17/09/2018 19:47

I've never used the weights area but is it staffed? Those lads should be thrown out.

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