To not want pics of new baby on Facebook?

[Woshambo]

I don't know if it's the hormones or if I'm genuinely worrying.

I have made my baby (Not born yet) his own private fb with only family members as friends. My thinking was everyone would see his pictures that we post at the same time, they can share pics with each other and he can see all the nice messages when he's older.

However, the OH family want to change their profile pics (already done it of my scan) and share stuff on their own public profiles when he's here.

I'm just worried about stories that you hear of people stealing pics, paedophiles stalking profiles etc. They'll post his nursery and where he will be and when.

There's also the fact that he may turn out like me, I've not had a photo taken for 7 years as I hate them. I don't put personal information or anything on.

AIBU to ask that they just stick to his private one for now?

@notacooldad it wasn't just for the baby, my family stays far away so things like the babies sex, or what either side have gotten for him coming and pics were shared to make sure we didn't end up with 2 of everything....we did anyway so it was a waste of time lol.

@Lazypuppy I think ur right, I think by trying to avoid something I've just caused it. Probably should've asked on here if it was a good idea before doing it lol. I just feel like I've not got a clue what I'm doing

Whilst I do find it a little odd to have a page set up for the unborn child, I completely agree with you here, OP. It sounds as though you have a lot of probably well-meaning people around you, however, will have to battle to retain some control.

Exactly the position I find myself in with dh’s family.

I won’t under any circumstances have pictures of my son online, simply because he can’t choose yet whether he wants a profile on social media or not.

I think I posted a few pics of my son after he was born and a few months after but there's literally like 6.

Not on Facebook. On Instagram. My profile is completely private so only people I know and like see them.

Other than that though I don't lile posting pics of him. They're our memories. Not for everyone else to judge and discuss.

I'm a bit cagey about it since having him 😂

@NoProbLlama78 I didn't even think of the midwife I've just been in a panic! I'll speak to her on my next appointment about it.

I just thought the fb thing would be easier to share with family and be nice for him to see without it being public when he's older. Plus all the updates, my phone was non stop before it.

I've asked OH to keep her away for a while as she keeps moving furniture into my house and swapped my blinds for curtains then goes in a strip if I say I don't like it.

Thank u for the advice xoxo

Your OH needs to set boundaries with her. ASAP. She won’t interfere less when the baby arrives.
But that account needs to go.

We use Lifecake for sharing photos rather than Facebook, it's invite only and secure

@Kintan it's a completely private page to be used for information and as a sort of time line family album. Contained on a private page that only family members see is different from the rest of the world. Like I said I wasn't sure if I was being a controlling mess or if what I'm thinking makes sense.

Start posting photos with a large watermark across them?

@greatbigwho I've never heard of it. I'm not a big social media person. I'll have a look n maybe delete the fb and set up one of them.

I miss the times when it was normal cameras!

Yanbu it’s your choice what you want to share.

Personally I love posting pictures of my baby on Facebook and Instagram but it’s all set to private and I don’t have 1000’s of people on there or anything.

I agree a whatsap group would be better. We have a family one for babyspam.

@Wolfiefan he's tried, he doesn't listen then it ends up a screaming match between them or he agrees with her so my thoughts go out the window.

Is this stuff even normal? It's our first baby and the first in both our families for a long time. I just assumed everyone was just excited but I'm reading advice on here and it's looking like I might have a bigger issue than fb photos

@Pumpkinpie2018 I tried WhatsApp first but OH family won't download it telling me they use fb lol. Just trying to make it so everyone's happy. Everyone gets the info at the same time (MIL isn't happy if someone's told before her) and my phone isn't going every 2 seconds

I have to wonder sometimes what people would do about stuff like this if social media didn’t even exist. You’d be making more than one copy of an actual photo and ‘sharing’ that way (remember “negatives”?! Do today’s kids know what they are?! misses point of thread ) I really hope that when today’s newborn babies are in their 80s and 90s that their parents Facebook accounts don’t still exist.

Facebook messenger group chat then? Rather than an actual Facebook profile for the bub?

@HaveSomeGrace ha! That's what I said lol ppl want stuff right now though not whenever the post arrives. I love "real" photos!

@Pumpkinpie2018 I was thinking that but the fear is the same, they'll just share it to their page regardless. I'm going to look up that babyspam thing also. Totally out of my depth with all this lol

Please delete the FB page it’s cringe beyond belief!

Agree with a PP who said there are specific apps with this type of private sharing in mind, such as lifecake. Your DH needs to be firm with them that if they are going to share any pictures without your permission then they won’t be receiving any pictures/allowed to take any when they visit! It wouldn’t bother me personally but it’s your baby and your rules.

It sounds like they'll never be happy OP, no matter what you do they'd moan by the sounds of it. I'd stop trying, delete the FB page and fuck em! So what if people aren't 'happy', it's not your responsibility. If MIL has a strop because she isn't the first to know stuff let her. She needs to grow up!

He’s tried?
Time to try harder. If you don’t set clear boundaries now you’ll wake up and find they’ve turned up and taken the baby out somewhere whilst you’re sleeping. Or they will pick a boarding school.
They sound like a bit of a nightmare.

If you don’t want pictures of your baby on SM the safest way is to not post any pictures yourself, so don’t have that FB page. Once they’re up there is nothing stopping anyone from saving the picture and resharing with whoever they like.
I have pictures of DD on social media and I don’t think it’s a big deal but my SIL doesn’t want any pictures on SM so I’ve respected her wishes and never added pics of my DNeice. Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like you can trust your family to give you the same respect so be safe and don’t give them the chance.

Its simple. Don’t put photos on social media that you aren’t willing for others to share. If people want to keep up with your baby, show them photos when they visit, or print and post them photos or send them in a messaging app. That way you can tell people that you don’t put little one’s pictures on social media and forbid them to do it too.

There's an app called Tinybeans that my friend uses to share photos of her kids but we can't save or share them. Might be worth switching from Fb to something like that.

woshambo
Sorry I laughed yesterday.
I've been thinking about it and I understand your intentions mire clearly.
I do think you will have a battle to keep everything in your control on fb though.
I've re read your up and I do agree with others about your reasoning being over the top. The nursery stuff is a bit much. You do know that they are supwrvisedcall rhe times and checked in and out and who they are beung handed over to?
What have DHs family actually said about sharing?

I agree if you don’t want photos shared on facebook then the safest thing is not to put them on there in the first place.

Why not make a scrap book/photo album instead? You could get visitors to write messages in it and stick in things like the baby’s hospital wrist band, scan photos, cards etc. I think that would be much nicer for your child to have when he/she is older than a facebook page (facebook might not even be around then!).

The minimum age for a Facebook account is 13. Setting one up for an unborn child is just wrong.
The pictures will be shared by someone, you can't stop them. Nothing stays private on the Web.
What if the child is offended by the pictures when s/he grows up?

Just stay off FB altogether. Having a FB page for your baby is unreasonable and doesn’t sit right with me. I think family members will be confused that you have done this but don’t want them to post pictures of the baby. You can’t stop all postings on social media but taking the lead by removing the baby page is a good first step