To complain about doctor?

[FranticallyPeaceful]

Hi everyone,
My son (16 weeks old) is currently in hospital as he had two seizures. When we got here, within twenty minutes he was being given a lumbar puncture. It took a long time and then it took about 45 minutes for her to fit a cannula. My son seems traumatised by it and flinches every time somebody touches him now and I feel like my happy smiley baby is just scared by everything. They never ran any tests other than a CT scan (apparently he needs an MRI and EEG).
The more senior doctor showed up and I could hear her berating the doctor who gave the lumbar puncture saying she never exhausted other options before putting a baby under a painful procedure without anaesthetic.
Also the nurse holding him was holding him wrong and he stopped breathing and they had to make a mad dash to resus him.

She also recanulated him after he had finished his precautionary antibiotics despite him not needing it anymore.

She apologised for everything but I feel really angry. I hate complaining about medical staff but this doctor has been an absolute nightmare since we got here despite being told to give my baby some time to breathe.

I think I should try to complain, at the very least it will make her more cautious next time but my mother told me to leave it. Is she right or should I complain?

I mean this kindly and I hope you don't take offence but there's a lot in this post that suggests you don't have a good understanding of what happened and why. I'm not saying this is your fault at all - they probably didn't explain it to you as well as they should have, especially if it was an emergency. I would suggest asking if one of the senior doctors could take some time to talk through the events with you and explain it a bit rather than going straight in with a complaint.
For example, it would be totally routine to perform a lumbar puncture in this age and circumstances and a general anaesthetic would not usually be used. And an MRI is often done at a later stage rather than initially for various reasons.
I'm not saying there was nothing that went wrong as there may well be but I think you'd benefit from a bit of a 'debrief' initially.
It must have been very scary for you, I hope your son is feeling better soon

I'm.sorry he's so poorly, but the procedures you.describe are exactly what my dd went through at 2 weeks old, giving her a diagnosis of meningitis

Posted too soon, she then had an MRI scan and an EEG a few days later. The lumber puncture needed doing asap to diagnose and treat

Thank you. I suppose I feel a little calmer knowing it’s normal. Nobody has explained anything to me at all and all I have to go on is hearing them talk at reception. I feel like I’m losing my mind

It's horrifically stressful and scary, I really sympathise

Is you ds with you now? Do you have any support? I really hope he is ok

I think the idea of a debrief with a senior doctor is a great idea. I would definitely wait on a decision of a complaint until after this and until you've had time to get back on an even keel. You've had an incredibly traumatic time it sounds awful, I hope you're taking the time to look after yourself and each other.

I have had a similar experience with muni child when small and it is awful. Seeing your child in pain- there’s is nothing worse. Wanting to pull the doctors off your child for hurting them, but you can’t becuase they are trying to make them better.
It’s scarred me for years. I always think about how difficult it was seeing the fear in my sons face every time a nurse and doctor came near the ward. He was a bit older though. He ended up with a phobia of doctors and appointments that took a long time to sort through. On the plus side your baby will be blissfully unaware and forget all of this and that’s a good thing.
I’m sorry you have to go through this and hope your baby is ok. I’m on the fence about complaining.

awful for you both OP but they need to get stuff done quickly and often don't have time to explain

DD (9) had the same last year - rushed in, LP with no pain relief and 5 nurses holding her down - MRI next day and EEG 3 days later - she endured 4 LP's and a further MRI

I was shocked, scared and ill-informed - mainly because they needed to act fast and no one was sure what was wrong

he is young enough to forget all the trauma which trust me is a blessing - 10 month on my daughter can't sleep and has a lot of mental scars :(

oh she had Encephalitis btw