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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex partner!

6 replies

Smij85 · 17/09/2018 11:22

Hi all, I’m new to this! Has anyone dealt with ex partner making up lies about them
And bad mouthing to the children?? I’m at my wits end and it’s starting to affect my and my 7year old

OP posts:
Aprilshowersnowastorm · 17/09/2018 11:23

It's an offence for your ex to badmouth you to a dc now!
My exh told my dc I was a prostitute!!
As soon as they hit 12 +14 they went nc with him.

Original poster
Smij85 · 17/09/2018 11:35

Its getting so out of hand now. I just don’t know what’s best to do! He was very controlling while with him. Now ha trying to do it but using the kids! He’s made up I have a boyfriend- this fake boyfriend even has a name too!! And he’s telling the kids all sorts! Luckily they tell me that Daddy has been questioning them and when they stick up for me and be truthful he’s calling them liars- and apparently I’m making them keep
Secrets! It’s just never ending

OP posts:
sockunicorn · 17/09/2018 11:45

smij, i had this with a parent. constantly badmouthing the other to me and it had long lasting damage. It destroys trust and is completely unreasonable. Please record your children saying this and take your ex to court ASAP before he manages to damage your childrens self esteem (and possibly their relationship with either you or him depending on how far his lies go). Flowers

Original poster
Smij85 · 17/09/2018 12:52

I was thinking about recording but I didn’t know if you were allowed too! I’ve been in touch with women’s aid and a early help
Hub which is allocating me a family support worker! But they are taking ages as there’s a back log 😞. He’s done previous in the past like break in to my house and abuse too! It’s all on record. I can deal with him being unkind to me as I’ve had years of it- but because I ignore it all he’s using the kids. I feel so helpless

OP posts:
Aprilshowersnowastorm · 17/09/2018 15:10

Op please document everything he is saying to the dc, where and when.
If you seek legal advice in the future your solicitor will be very interested in your evidence.
Record any behaviour changes from the dc after seeing their df. You would also be wise to inform school you are having some issues with him also. They can keep an eye on dc and let you know if they have concerns after visits too.
School were a great support when I had a twat ex.

Original poster
Smij85 · 17/09/2018 15:48

I’m going to have to go in to school this week as this weekends events made the eldest not want to go in. I’ve had a good few hours to sit and chat though today to make him feel at ease! I’m going to start to
Write everything down from now on. Thanks for your advice

OP posts:
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