Diet sabotage?

[Chubbrubb]

Maybe sabotage is a bit too far...but I am feeling that others are whether deliberately or not trying to feed me. Or make me feel I'm being awkward.

We have a lot of work meetings where people buy lots of sugary snacks. Mainly as the meetings last 2-3 hours. I've been in 2 recently where I was continually offered chocolate. I refused but they kept asking, oh go on have one etc. I didn't but it felt awkward.

Outside work my partner - if I can call him that as we don't live together - makes me feel like I'm being difficult. I stopped buying butter as I can't eat it. Which he made it clear he wasn't happy about. He regularly tells me I need to add oil or butter to food (I don't). At the weekend we were out shopping and he said he'd treat me to lunch. Which was a lovely gesture except the only places there were fast food or sandwich shops (Which I'm not eating. I would happily have had a salad but that wasn't an option). I ended up feeling like I was in the wrong...

Have others been in this position? Or am I being difficult?

I think the whole work meeting one was on them be unreasonable - if someone says no, they mean no!

Being out and not finding somewhere for lunch because it wouldn’t fit with your diet would annoy me a bit.

I know it’s not original meaning of your post, but once I stopped dieting and eating everything in moderation a good daily balance of treats and nutritionally dense food - and ultimately cared less about what people may have thought about me turning down food

I'm not on a faddy diet you know only eating cabbage soup or something like that. I am trying only to eat good healthy foods. I don't eat fried food and I am avoiding bread as it's extra calories I don't really need.

I am 7 stone overweight so I'm not just trying to lose a couple of pounds. A lot of my excess weight came from eating out, prepared sandwiches, and portion control so I am working on all that and just eating what I need. I am very fat and it's affecting my health. I feel like my partner should understand that and not question what I'm doing.

Ok, at 7 stone overweight that’s how people are used to you and they find changes hard. Be honest and upfront.

‘I can’t eat that. I’m very overweight, it’s affecting my health and I’m trying to make sensible changes. I’d appreciate your support.’

I am 8 stone overweight (I have lost 3 stone recently so was 11 stone overweight) and it takes an extraordinary amount of willpower to get it off.

I’d advise a structured approach to weight loss rather than ‘just being healthy’ as when there are clear parameters it’s easier to deal with the unexpected. You can find salads anywhere - pizza express, McDonald’s, coffee shops etc. I find it hard to believe there was no where acceptable to eat.

My weight loss is being monitored. I have lost nearly a stone in the last month (so now only 6st to lose) and am determined to succeed. I have put on a stone a year for the last 4 years because of not thinking about what I'm eating.

Unfortunately we were in the high st of our small town where there was limited choice. I was intending to have a jacket potato and salad in a cafe but they were shut. The other options were local chicken/ burger places which don't do salads, or a sandwich from a shop. I wasn't trying to be difficult I am just not prepared to sabotage my diet. Had there been a subway I could have had a salad bowl and been fine but there wasn't.

I wasn't bothered about not having lunch. It was more the you're being difficult just have a burger type response I got from my partner (who is also overweight though slimmer than me) that grated.

You have to make it very clear to people that your weight loss is for medical reasons (which it clearly is as you need to shift a lot.)

I know some offices where people have banned the 'cakes for birthdays' and things of that sort in an attempt to be healthier.

You need to stand your ground. Someone I know who refuses cakes and stuff at work says 'I don't eat sugar.'. End of. They rarely get challenged.

Your partner sounds a PITA. Ditch him if he's not supportive.

FWIW I am gluten free and can't eat some other stuff in cafes etc.

I find the way round it is to take my own snack if I know it might be an issue getting food ( so I might shove a piece of fruit or a small piece of cheese or some nuts in my bag). The other option with a burger place is to eat the meat but not the bread and ask for more salad if they are willing to provide that (harder with a fast food take away, I know.)

TBH it sounds as if the people you are mixing with are not actually taking your weight loss seriously AND it makes them feel less guilty if you eat alongside them- that's what it's all about really.

Good for you for being strong and sticking to your diet!! People like to share the guilt when they eat things that aren't good for you. It's really not far when you are working so hard to lose weight

People are work with biscuits etc are the worst ! They feel guilty about eating them so want everyone else too also. In the past I’ve said no thanks I am trying to eat healthily please don’t ask again as it’s too much temptation then laugh it off. I’ve recently joining slimming world and within the first week my partner offered me a takeaway 3 times I had to sit him down and tell him I am taking this seriously and it’s hard enough without people offering you food all the time ! Good luck x

I lost 7 stone. Maintained it for 5 years, had a baby, got back to maintained weight. Got sick and put on 4 stone.

Eating out, I found subway salads to be a lifesaver and a hidden gem, not always on the menu in store.

I also worked in a place where 2-3 hour meetings were regular, or back to back meetings most of the day. If I knew crap food was going to be thrown around, I'd bring in a fruit bowl. I always kept a fruit bowl on my desk and stocked it up on Mondays and Wednesdays. I encouraged others to help themselves too!

As for DH, at home we ate the same foods, I just ate a lot less than him.

Best of luck, you can do this!

Work were being annoying and it’s the usual scenario that people don’t like those who are showing will power they wish they had!
Ignore them

Your partner however had no excuse. He was being horrI left and the lack of kindness let alone support would make me question our relationship.

Your colleagues are annoying and your partner clearly has issues with your attempts at eating better. I am not overweight or looking to loose weight but I don’t have a huge appetite and am always amazed when people won’t take no for an answer regarding food.

Talk to your partner but make it clear that you won’t eat food you don’t want, to appease him. If he finds eating with you too difficult then, you won’t.

No, is a complete sentence don’t get sucked into explaining or justifying because you aren’t in the wrong, they are.

OH well done on your loss so far and I admire your determination!!

Work meeting thing was out of line. Who needs a face of chocolate to get through a meeting?

As for the meal out with your fella. I can see his and your side. Remember though that one sandwich is not what got your 7st overweight, more like a long behaviour pattern of eating too many of them too often. So sometimes just grabbing a quick sambo and being careful with your dinner choices is really fine, it is calories in vs calories out at the end of the day.

Our office is awful. Most of the group's of desks have their own cake/ treat tin and our company regularly gives out boxes of chocs as rewards. And organises pizza/ burger days once a month It is a wonder more people are not my size!

The meeting thing I find easier to cope with than my partners attitude. I can't work out if he doesn't want me to lose the weight or if it's more that he thinks I'm being too rigid. But in the latter case whether I am or not is up to me really!