To still be angry at inconsiderate, selfish, attention seeking twats on Facebook

[forumdonkey]

A few days ago, my friend lost her battle with cancer in her early 40s. She left behind DC's in their early 20s. By the afternoon news had filtered out. Both her Facebook and her DC's had no mention of her passing, so why the fuck someone, who wasnt even close to her, thought it be would be appropriate to announce it on Facebook! Her DC, very politely (more politely than I would have been) asked to refrain from posting as some members of the family were unaware of the situation.

Dispite comments on the their posts and a status only one out of about five removed their posts.

What is wrong with these inconsiderate fuckers? None of them were her family or close friends, what gave them the right to announce it when clearly her family hadn't?!

There was a murder of a 6 year old girl in Scotland recently and the little girl was staying with her dad. Her mum found out about her death ON FACEBOOK!

Having had my MIL declare my own cancer diagnosis on the dreaded FB for the world to see nothing surprises me about the depths some people will sink to in order to get attention.

It is the mindless act of a self centred, attention seeking individual.

Am truly sorry that you all have to suffer such ignorance at such a sad time xxx

I hate this. It happened in my family and was very upsetting for certain people. Sorry to hear about your friend

Thank you for your kind words and I'm sorry for all who have been through it too.

If someone is reading this and it's ringing bells. If you are the type of person who just has to tell the world something that is not about you (I'm sure there are MN who do) just know that you are absolute attention seeking scum who causing further harm and distress. May karma pay you a visit.

@AhoyDelBoy
@MissionItsPossible someone filmed an actual suicide taking place and put it on FB!? Holy fucking shit, I’m speechless, that’s horrendous

Without revealing too much and it being outing, it was more of a suicide attempt but which later turned out to be successful. I am sure that the person that filmed it didn't know they were going to die but even after it was confirmed they had died and it was clearly posted in capital letters on the video, people were still making jokes and crying laughing emojis. I knew Youtube comment were vile because I've seen them but I don't use FB and was actually just completely shocked that these people, with pictures of themselves on their profiles, some of them looking like perfectly normal people/couples/families were saying such shocking things without even being bothered about it being linked back to them. I don't know how it works so I don't know if all their friends could see what they were writing but still.

I found out my uncle and my young (child) cousin died on Facebook. Well it was more the Facebook messenger messages of ‘I’m so sorry to hear about......’ and I’m looking at them going ‘what?.....

to all of you that have been through it. It sucks.

We found out a close friend committed suicide via facebook. Her own family didnt know. The person who found her called the police and put it straight online.

It was My other friends birthday recently and she had hundreds of facebook messages saying "happy birthday and heres to many more, if you ever need a friend you know i am always here for you."

She died a year ago. And these people were messagjng as if they were her best mates so much so none of them knew shes dead.

Unfortunately that's the facebook era for you. I hate it for that reason.

I have a facebook account, it's locked down to private, I enjoy seeing peoples photos and updates, but not the 'gossip posts'.

My SIL recently had a baby, MIL sent us the news and then advised ME 'Do NOT put it on facebook' - Sorry, but I'm really not that inconsiderate, thick or downright rude and having been married to her son for the past 12 years, I'm not sure why she'd even think I'd announce someone else's baby news/bad news/wedding etc on Facebook.

Posted too soon, sorry

Sorry to hear about your friend too :(

Grief stealers is a very good term. People don't need Facebook to do it. When my dh rang MIL to tell him my dm had died, she sobbed hysterically down the phone and said she was too upset to talk to me as she would choke on the words. My dh felt so sorry for her . To this day she has not mentioned my dm's death to me or asked how I am. She just can't bear things not being about her.

for you OP and your friend's family. Lots of people are attention whores with no notion of compassion or who their attention-seeking posts might hurt. It's like a competition when a celeb dies who's the first to announce it.

So glad I'm out of Facebook.

My group of friends call these people grief perverts. It’s the best description of what they are. I know someone who tweeted and posted photos on her Facebook of her granny’s funeral, she was loving all the u ok huns she was getting from all these people - none of whom were at her granny’s funeral

I truly believe that social media etiquette is still evolving but that in the meantime, there are just too many people who don't stop to think and apply real world thinking to what they post. I DO have sympathy for someone whose much loved aunt (for example) dies and they want to express that on social media - it's how it works. But I don't understand why the common courtesy of at least waiting until the entire family and important people have been informed.

in a slightly different situation, when my mum died, my siblings and I all posted on facebook because we knew there were a LOT of people who would want to know and who we wouldn't be sending individual messages to. But we didn't do that until a bit later, after immediate family and close friends had been told. And I would have been furious if one of my friends had put it on facebook after I'd sent a personal message but before we put something out publicly. On the flip side, during my dad's truly awful illness none of us have said a word online because he would hate it.

One of my cousins took photgraphs of my Grandad's funeral flowers at the cremotorium, and posted them on Facebook just hours later. Totally inappropriate and caused quite a bit of upset, but she got all the 'OMG so sorry hun' responses she so despertately wanted. It wouldn't even enter my head to do that. Why would you?!

She is one of those saddos who lives her life throug FB though.

BlingLoving I don't have a problem with announcing news on fb, my problem is that the wrong people are doing it. Posting RIP before some of the family knew. When her DC did formally announce it, it was a beautiful tribute. I also think tributes can serve as modern condolence cards, which may give a little comfort and memories and pictures shared with the family.

Sorry to hear about your friend

My oldest ds travels to take part in a dangerous sport. One of my fears is that I'll see something on fb before finding out in real life. He says none of his friends would be that stupid.

hilbil - I think she initially found out that her daughter was missing on facebook when the dad or nan posted an appeal,not that she had died at that point but even so it is still horrendous. No one actually told her what had happened and she was begging on facebook for someone to tell her hours after her body had been found. So tragic.

This is it I truly believe that social media etiquette is still evolving but that in the meantime, there are just too many people who don't stop to think and apply real world thinking to what they post. from @BlingLoving. People are stupid and fucking thoughtless!

Someone on my facebook was taking selfies at a funeral recently. Even worse she didnt know the girl in rl. It was an online friend and her and some others had gone as some mawkish meet up.

People are fucking weird.

I despise this. It happens when there is a major incident too. What I don't get is the taking photos of dead/ dying people caught up in terrorist attacks and putting it on Twitter. Nothing sicker.

I didn't know Alesha MacPhail's Mum found out on Facebook that's awful. People just don't think about the consequences of their actions

YANBU, it happened to my family. The ex of the relative who passed away put it on Facebook, didn’t inform my relative’s mum or family at all. I know they were exes, but they had a child together, and what happened to human decency! My other relative received a text from a mutual friend asking them what it was like to have a dead sibling, which is the first anyone had heard abiut it. Also WTF makes you phrase a question that way 😡

karyatide I'm sorry for your loss. It isn't what this thread is about. It's about people who are aquantances/neighbours posting condolences and announcing the death before the family have.

You will also see in my previous post that I think tributes, photos and memories will, one day serve as comfort to the family.