To be unsure if this is safe/unsafe

[onlyoranges]

What would you do?

My dc is disabled and through a local on line group I got chatting to a woman who was looking for the same service as me for her disabled child. She’s much further on with her diagnosis and through chatting she is a wealth of info. She kindly offered to meet up and help me with a few things I’m struggling with. I know the area she lives in and it’s in the middle of nowhere. She said come to me and we can have a chat etc but should I go? If one of my dcs was doing this I’d say no but the problem is her remote location and she’s doing me a favour. She clearly wants me to go to her and I feel like it’s an imposition to ask her to travel to meet me somewhere. What would you do? I looked on her fb page and there’s only one pic and she has about 10 friends but she looks late 50s so maybe she doesn’t use it that much, sorry if that’s ageist! It’s kind of her to offer and I don’t want her to put me out but nor do I want to be locked in a cellar by a person who isn’t who they say!!

What does your gut instinct say?

Does she live near a village or anything? Could you meet in a park or a coffee shop? It’s a bit more neutral than her house x

I wouldn't meet in her house. Just meet in a cafe that's local to her, perhaps.

Another vote for local cafe. Less opportunity for her to kill you and wear your skin as a suit if there are witnesses.

Could you chat on the phone/facetime beforehand?

No, I definitely wouldn’t meet at her house. Surely there must be a public place to meet near her house regardless of how remote she is? If she’s insistent that there isn’t and it has to be her house only, then my spidey senses would tingle even further.

I think if you say 'that's really kind of you to offer and I would love to meet up. I always tell my child/nephew not to go to anyone's homes so I am conscious I should practice what I preach and suggest we meet in a coffee shop, would that be ok with you?'
Then she would be understanding.

I don't think it's unreasonable to suggest meeting for a coffee out somewhere for the security of you both. You could say you would like to buy her coffee or lunch as a thank you.

The problem is there are no coffee shops with around 15 mins of where she lives as it’s quite remote. That’s the problem and the fact I feel she’s doing me the favour and I’m putting her out asking her to drive somewhere when she really doesn’t need to. Her dc goes to the place I would like mine to go to but it’s tricky to get in. She clearly knows the educational provision from our conversations. She seems nice from our correspondence and I don’t get a sense of anything odd at all but how we live now we risk assess everything don’t we!!!

I would meet in a local public place, unless you know someone who knows her.

Ok so your message is a bit longer 'that's really kind of you to offer and I would love to meet up. I always tell my child/nephew not to go to anyone's homes so I am conscious I should practice what I preach and suggest we meet in a coffee shop, would that be ok with you? I know you are in a remote place, do you tend to visit x town for your shopping etc - we could meet there when it fits in with you?'

Even remote people go to towns for appointments, shops etc. She will be used to driving I'm sure.

I help people with similar issues and wouldn't ever suggest my house for their own comfort more than anything...if happily travel a reasonable distance. I love remotely but there is a small farm shop with coffee 15mins away I usually suggest
..is there nothing similar?

What about the local pub?

Could you tell her jokingly if you could meet somewhere more public just incase she's a serial killer and make a joke out of it?

I like your message NoLeslie I think I will message something similar.

Could you Skype ?

Just ask to meet her in town.