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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think that ‘I’m not a morning person’ is not acceptable excuse?

27 replies

LoopyLou1981 · 16/09/2018 19:09

DH and I have 2 young children. A ‘good’ wake up time is 6.30 but any time after 5.30 is fair game as far as they’re concerned. I work part time. I have no issue doing the wake ups on my days off. When I’m working I have to be up by 6.30 anyway so it’s not much of an issue. But I always ask if we can split the weekends so I can have a little lie in (I’m talking 8am not midday!). He always agrees but then refuses to get up on his allotted day because ‘he’s not a morning person’ so it’s hard for him to get up. While I don’t mind mornings, 6.30am day in day out is draining and I don’t think I’m being unreasonable in saying he needs to sort himself out and get his arse moving one morning a week?!

OP posts:
itdoesntmatterwhereimfrom · 16/09/2018 19:12

You're right, it's no excuse. What a load of crap.

He should be splitting weekends with you. Put an alarm clock under his pillow.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 16/09/2018 19:12

Get yourself into a dc's bed and send them in to wake their df.

snowsun · 16/09/2018 19:13

That's being selfish and quite uncaring.

He knows you'll do it if he doesn't.

EmeraldVillage · 16/09/2018 19:14

He is being unfair and selfish.

Rolypolybabies · 16/09/2018 19:15

Ugh. My husband argues this. It makes me dislike him

Spacezombies · 16/09/2018 19:16

You need to stop doing it. You say to the kids "this is mummy's day to have a lie in. Go to daddy's side". Say it loud enough for him to hear and then tell him "the kids need breakfast. I do it everyday. We agreed this is your day so get up". Then keep repeating until he gets up.

You won't exactly get to sleep whilst pushing him to get up, but neither will he. Do no back down. And in a few weeks he will just do it.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 16/09/2018 19:17

My exh used to offer to get up with dc on a Sunday, then send them up to play in their bedroom's. Opposite sides of our room.
While he fell back asleep on the sofa.
Ex h. ...

CherryPavlova · 16/09/2018 19:18

Teach the children to stay in bed later.

Yes, share the lie ins.

lemonsorbetinthesun · 16/09/2018 19:19

Ear plugs for next weekend!!

Delatron · 16/09/2018 19:19

I can see he’s being unfair but I also wouldn’t be getting up at 5.30am with my kids either. How old are they? I used to treat anything before 7am as a night waking. But then I need my sleep.

LoveAGoodChat · 16/09/2018 19:20

Tell him If he can't get up at 6.30am then he could try going to bed earlier the night before so that he is still getting the same amount of sleep (and so that he can't give you any excuse not to get up)

HopeAndJoy16 · 16/09/2018 19:22

Currently facing this same issue, except my DH does get up (eventually) but i need to wake him up. Or he'll get up and ask me what he should do with DD??! I've started putting the baby monitor his side of the bed and not moving or answering to DD's wakeups. To be fair to him though I did get a morning nap til after 11am today (after getting up at 6).

sparklelike · 16/09/2018 19:22

Of course he’s being ridiculous - he can be ‘not a morning person’ the other 6 days a week. Both of us are not morning people, but you have to grow up when you have children, or you should do.

Moominfan · 16/09/2018 19:23

Very selfish of him

Lethaldrizzle · 16/09/2018 19:24

Morning person/night owls - loada bollox

Jengnr · 16/09/2018 19:25

Just kick him and go back to sleep.

crosstalk · 16/09/2018 19:45

Morning/night people is not a load of bollox Lethal. I'm a night owl and have found mornings painful. BUT the main point is it's not an excuse - in my job I often had to get up at 5am and certainly managed getting up for my DCs.

Notacluewhatthisis · 16/09/2018 19:48

I am up early most mornings. Exh was not a morning person. He still did mornings with the kids.

It's a total cop out

PenguinSaidEverything · 16/09/2018 19:48

The only way I would ever agree to this is if there was a serious payback for doing the mornings ie he did every single bedtime whilst you laze in the bath drinking champagne and eating chocolates Grin

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 16/09/2018 19:49

I am not a morning person - I still managed to get up with my children. I did most of the morning stuff, as dh was working and going out very early, but he got up with the boys at least once at the weekends, so I got a lie in.

Cleanermaidcook · 16/09/2018 19:54

If they are too young to be up alone then yes he's being unfair.

How old are they? From the age of about 6 mine would get up, get a cereal bar and drink and watch TV till 8am when they were allowed to wake us up, is this an option?

Buswankeress · 16/09/2018 20:11

@Lethaldrizzle

It's really not a load of bollocks, I work nights because I really do function better during the night and there's no management about and a lot of people I have worked with have got sick from working nights, some people are 'night owls' and I used to struggle to sleep at night which would mean I was knackered in the morning and therefore not a 'morning' person.

However I did the years of early mornings, and I'm not a morning person. But I had no option but to do school run etc, so OP your husband needs to grow up and accept his responsibility for his children.

Delatron · 16/09/2018 20:12

How old are the kids OP?

Aria2015 · 16/09/2018 20:13

It's not an excuse. I'm not a morning person either but you've gotta do what you've gotta do when you have kids. Just stay put in bed and insist he gets up. I'd simply refuse to budge lol!

Original poster
LoopyLou1981 · 16/09/2018 20:27

They’re 18 months and 3 years so definitely not old enough to get themselves up. I’m not even fussed about it being every weekend. Just once in a while being able to get my head down and not have to start the morning at 100 mph with 2 toddlers!x

OP posts: