Cf - to say anything or no?

[sirmione16]

So my friend (C) has let two of our other friends (R and A) stay at her place whilst they were between rented properties.

At first it was meant to be two weeks, so it was a "crash on the sofa, it's fine" deal. Anyway, two turned into 3, R and A didn't fill out the paperwork they needed to on time, lost the first place and had to find another... by the time that happened and they moved in, it had been over 4 weeks they'd been at Cs place.

In that time, they ate out of her cupboards, barely contributed to food costs, were really messy and cheeky with requests for her to bend over backwards giving them keys at work so they could go out later etc.

In all that time, they've barely said thank you or shown ANY appreciation - plus when C mentioned they'd been there for over a month, would they mind contributing to bills/rent as money was tight - she asked for £150 between them so £75 each just to help out considering they didn't fill the fridge once or anything like that.

They didn't. And they made all the excuses under the sun. AND YET came into my restaurant and spent £80 alone on booze during this time. Plus they were out drinking A LOT too. They easily spent that £75 ten times over in the month and yet made excuses when it came to paying their fair share .

Sorry it was long but here's my question - do I say anything? I've held my tongue this whole time but seeing the both of them makes my blood boil at the blatant disrespect. They've moved out now, so I should just "let it go" but I can't. And seeing C so upset about how they've treated her is breaking my heart because she was just tying to help them out with a place to crash for 2 weeks and they totally took advantage. What do I do?!

Slowly let it go, and both you and C quietly drop the friendship - it would cost more in the long run, both emotionally and financially, to remain friends.

I've certain friends who I would totally call out on behaviour like that and happily dish out a roasting to knowing that it wouldn't really effect the friendship long term other friends I tread more carefully with and bite my tongue with as it's just not worth the hassle. However I'm not really sure I'd want to be friends with people who think that's acceptable behaviour.

I think you and your friend have seen the true colours of those two, they are freeloaders, and you (and your friend) know now never to offer them an inch as they would take a mile and come back for more...

If they haven't,/won't pay your friend the money, then you both should cut the freeloaders out of your life...your friend did a good thing for them by giving them a roof over their head, food, warmth, a bed etc and they have gone beyond the border of CF land ...

I would probably cut them off as friends and tell them why first.

I think I would have to say something. Your friend c sounds like a lovely person who will happily help people. The other two sound like freeloading arseholes who take advantage of people who have been kind to them. I know who out of those I would want to remain friends with so the decision would be easy as to where my loyalty lies.

I would make it clear that I was disgusted with their behaviour and that they had dropped massively in my opinion of them. I would then support c as she is the decent human being in this situation.

I'd tell C

They are CFs and she is having to fund them and that is wrong.

I'd put their stuff outside and change the locks.

With friends like these, who needs enemies...

Put them both in the 'never give them an inch' category. Never do anything with/for them unless it suits you.
Let C know she has your full support.
Then let it go.

It depends on whether not telling them what you think of their shitty behaviour would eat away at you. I've had times when I've seriously regretted not getting things off my chest, so I'd say let them have both barrels unless you want to stay friends with them. Personally I wouldn't want friends like that anyway so I'd not have anything to lose by saying something.

Are they still there? If so I would do anything to help your friend get rid of them.

I wouldn't have anything to do with R and A again, personally. What they did to your other friend, they could do to you. Do you think if you'd made a mistake on the restaurant bill they would have corrected you?

@HollowTalk they've gone now (left it in a state) I couldn't get there to help clean, but I did stock her cupboards with some dry, essential and frozen food (and some treats and wine!) as a sign of support.

And definitely agree with all of you on this thread that I will not be inclined to help them out in the future - and if they asked I would tell them why.