AIBU to think I deserve a break and some help?

[Teenagermum1979]

Mine is a long drawn out saga but I have had a life time of family problems, financial problems, drama and failed relationships. I work hard, have two DC (15 and 17) and in lots of ways I have lots to be greatful for and I do try and keep that in my head. But I honestly never seem to catch a break. My money doesn’t stretch the month, I am always in grief at work despite working hard, I can never do enough to keep my DC happy. This summer has been a nightmare for various reasons. But prior to that I met someone and we have been together about 6 months. Most of the time things between us are good and we have a nice time together. But he’s been on his own for a long time, isn’t particularly tidy and thjnks that feeling emotional (crying etc) isn’t helpful and that I just need to get on and sort solutions to problems. But I am tired and I need a break and a bit of peace in life. I haven’t been feeling well this week and I have been upset and his approach to this is to just leave me to it until I come out of it. He is reasonably practical with help in lots of ways but not in others (messy etc). Am I being unreasonable to expect a break in life or should I just accept my lot and get on with it? Please be nice, i’ve Not gone into depth about my problems but they are extensive and distressing and i’m reaching out for support xx

Do you live with this person? Seems a bit soon, especially if they aren't pulling their weight with housework. If you don't live together, though, then you might have unreasonable expectations they can't "give you a break" if they don't know you need it you need to ASK for what you want because people aren't mind readers. It would be nice if our partners could anticipate our every need, but humans are complex creatures and this is not easy. Ask for help if you need it.

No I don’t live with them. I did for a period of time over the summer due to my circumstances but I’ve moved into my own place now with the kids. We’ve talk about moving in but not yet. I’m not very good at asking for what i need. I suffer from low self esteem due to problems when I was younger and find it hard. I just don’t know whether it’s me that’s the problem and I expect too much or whether he could be more supportive and I don’t trust myself

It's not clear what you mean by 'having a break' - you say your boyfriend is 'leaving you to it' ..... so isn't that 'giving you a break'? .

If he is messy and untidy just don't invite him round to your place, if you meet up go on an old fashioned date so that you can enjoy a night out (if you want to).

Otherwise just ask him to leave you in peace for a few days; have you got a good girl friend or family member that you can spend some quality time with, in a different environment?

I have a teenaer (and a DH) and I do need a lot of time 'on my own' - but I just close my bedroom door and take to my bed with a good book when I need peace and quiet (never share a bed with DH ) or go for a long walk on my own. Your kids are old enough to leave alone, try and focus on things you like doing for yourself.

I guess when I said break I meant more in life as in have a period of time where there are no catashtrophes to deal with.