Go no contact

[TatterdemalionAspie]

AIBU to find this phrase intensely irritating? Is it just me who winces everytime I read it?

Where did it come from? Is it just a MN phrase, or did it come from somewhere else and was just widely adopted here?

What's wrong with 'cease all contact' or 'cut off your relationship with them' or 'have no contact' or 'don't have any further contact'? Why the grammatically nonsensical 'go no contact'?

If you use the phrase, why do you do that? Do you think it makes you sound like a relationship guru, or something?

I don't mean this as rudely as it sounds, by wjy do you care? From a person who "went nc"

It grates on me, golondrina - it doesn't make sense grammatically, and there's seems to me to be something affected about it. Don't you have things which grate on you/make you cringe when you hear them?

Am I really the only person that finds this annoying? Wow - I guess IABVU, then!

I couldn’t care less. Are you bored by any chance?

It doesn’t really bother me - gets this message across

I like it.

It's a legal term in its broadest sense.

Because ceasing all contact with someone...usually a close family member (or in my case my whole family) is a big enough deal that it is seen as a Thing.

The term "no contact" may seem like two small words written on a screen to many, but to those who have actually had to "go no contact" it is often a life changing, all encompassing event, with a range of emotions. I have had to grieve for the parents I should have had, as well as the parents I did have. Even though they are still alive and live twenty minutes from me.

So in that sense, going no contact is a much bigger event than any of the other suggested terms would convey. IMO.

Cease all contact is strangely formal, cut them off makes me sound unreasonable, have no contact sounds like maybe I would like contact and nc is much quicker to type.
I don't think of myself a relationship guru and I think that's quite an insensitive and twatty thing to write, given the context.
Go nc is easy shorthand for something horrible and difficult.

Are you bored by any chance?

No, not at all bored, power. Just reading yet another thread peppered with 'go nc', mulling over how much it grates on me, and wondering if it's just me.

iklboo is it?! Why would the term be 'go no contact' instead of 'have no contact'?

To me, "have no contact" sounds like I might want contact, but for example we have lost touch and I don't know how to find them. Go no contact is a decision to not suffer any more from awful behaviour from someone. But it sounds more considered and weighed up than "cut someone off" which sounds like I did it in fit of pique.

It's not a mumsnet thing, i do a lot of reading on personality disorders, abuse etc and No Contact is the term that is used.

golondria 'I stopped contact' would convey the same thing, ie that it was your decision.

String ah, so that's where it comes from, and 'go' rather than 'have' differentiates it as a thing, I suppose.

But really, who cares?

I hate it as a term too. It is sounds so easy a term for something that can be heart breaking. It's thrown around on MN a lot with posters saying 'Just go NC', when they gave no idea of the reality of the situation. I have had people close to me be on the receiving end of NC when fundamentally they are decent people. Lots of pain all round.

Stopping contact still doesn’t really convey that this is a conscious and ongoing decision. It’s an accepted phrase, it bugs you, who cares? If ever someone in your life becomes so toxic that you have to even consider NC you’ll be less judge about how people talk about it.

Pedants corner is the place for this post.
My mother used to say that people don’t go missing
I’m nc with her

Sally, I don’t think it’s the severity that bothers OP, just the use of the word ‘go’ apparently

It's pedantry at its best and enormously insensitive.

I think using the word "go" is appropriate as it describes an act, something that people do. It's usually a life changing and heart wrenching decision, and not done lightly. I do agree that it's thrown around a bit too freely, often in the wrong context.

I have never seen it thrown around or said flippantly. People say that but I've never seen it, except as a joke (which isn't funny anyway).

I've only ever seen it on MN. And I don't like it either. It reduces a really serious and painful situation to a throwaway acronym. "Go NC" say posters , makes it sound easy which it isn't.

It doesn't bother me but certain words can grate. I hate naice, no idea why but it grates on me

Loving the assumption that I haven't personally experienced stopping all contact with a close family member. 🙄

HATE it! It makes me cringe and sounds so high and mighty. Never heard it/seen it outside of Mumsnet. Thankfully.