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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for more from my husband?

2 replies

Oodilally · 16/09/2018 09:00

Currently in hospital (again) as I've been ill since June, and we've had a lot of changes to cope with. Oldest dd moved out, reduced to one income, I'm not entitled to claim anything as dh apparently earns too much. Got two ds's to care for and I've been budgeting the household on approx £100 a week for 4 if us, all while feeling very unwell. dh pays rent (which is crippling us), covers his car payments and credit card and that's it. I pay for everything else. He gives me the working tax credits of £27 a week which is hardly even helping with all the costs, shopping etc. AIBU to expect more from him? We're really struggling and sometimes I can't even afford all the bills, I have to choose between food and electric but the other day he spent over £20 on himself, cider, scratch cards. Our ds's are going without as I have literally zero money left at the weeks end. He just seems to be only concerned about himself, he's useless with money, hardly bothers with me any more, treats me like I'm one of his work mates instead of his wife! When I was admitted to hospital yesterday he was more concerned about other things and took several hours to come to the hospital, ds's are with their Nan, he has no excuse to not be here caring for me, AIBU to want his attention? Am I asking too much? I'm at the point where I'm questioning our marriage, I don't know if I want to be with someone who's behaving in my opinion quite selfishly. Plenty of time to think things over, Scrolling MN to distract me while stuck in hospital bed Confused

OP posts:
MajesticWhine · 16/09/2018 09:10

Sorry. Yes he is being a total shit. If he is earning a good amount then you shouldn't be choosing between food and electricity. He needs to stop the frittering and the credit card. Maybe get a cheaper car? And contribute more to the household costs. Regarding the lack of emotional support, does he know how you feel? Are you a bit of a coper? Sorry you are not well. Thanks

Oodilally · 16/09/2018 11:29

@MajesticWhine yes I'm usually the one who holds everything together, I'm very strong willed. Cars not an option I'm afraid and we don't use the credit card, he's focusing on paying it off.
He has no idea how I'm feeling despite being to actually see the physical side of me being ill, he just says "oh you'll be ok" it's like I'm not allowed to be unwell, he hasn't even called yet today to check on me, I honestly can't remember the last time he asked me how I am, how was my day etc, or offer to help me in any way. Just found out my oldest ds is very upset too, he misses his dad, and I'm stuck here and can't do anything about it Angry

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