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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dogs

141 replies

apresski · 15/09/2018 22:53

We live down a country lane very popular with dog walkers (despite dog walking paths by river just adjacent). Our gates are open on to the road (not the river) and we have had repeated dogs run into our garden. I am from a dog family, my DH isn't (allergic). My daughter is also allergic but seems to be growing out of it, but as a result of allergies at an earlier age is petrified of dogs come running at her or are overly bouncy/friendly etc. Now.... AIBU to think of you walk your dogs up and down a lane or in public you should be able to control them going in to other people's gardens or property? DH and I had an argument about it today but actually daughter was terrified by three dogs running around chasing her and was screaming.....! Thanks all

OP posts:
FelixTitling · 16/09/2018 00:25

Are the dogs walking themselves rigamorph?

Mummadeeze · 16/09/2018 00:31

A dog ran up to my daughter and I i the street today and barked really loudly at us so we both jumped and looked a little alarmed. The owner told us to chill out because it hadn’t bitten us. I honestly don’t get what planet some dog owners are on. He was actually annoyed at us being scared of his aggressive dog!

Junkmail · 16/09/2018 00:34

YANBU for being annoyed. I have dogs that given a chance would run into your garden. I leash them quickly if I see situations like that but not everyone would do the same. It’s very rude and annoying but you can’t control what other people do. I don’t know what reply you were expecting other than close your gates. It’s the only part of the situation you have control over unless you want to attempt to ban people from walking their dogs there and I don’t even know how you would go about that??

butterflysugarbaby · 16/09/2018 00:35

Closing the gates is the obvious answer.

I can't believe the OP is being so bloody-minded and awkward about it.

Honeyroar · 16/09/2018 00:37

I agree dogs shouldn't be off lead unless under control (mine aren't most of the time on walks!). But there are so many hopeless dog owners around. I'd try and get new gates that actually work, just to save yourself the stress!

ErrolTheDragon · 16/09/2018 00:42

YANBU - I'm a dog owner, I don't let him run up other people's drives (well, except our neighbours who don't mind him). Also, you said your gates open onto the road, a country lane - the dogs should definitely be either on a lead or under 'close control' there, surely? It sounds as though if people wanted to let their dogs have a run they could use the path by the river.

The fact you have gates is almost irrelevant imo - the dogs shouldn't be so out of control on a lane.

TooManyPaws · 16/09/2018 02:19

All posties and delivery people manage to open and shut my gates just fine.

I nearly had a herd of cows in my garden once when I left the gates open.

FinnegansWhiskers · 16/09/2018 02:27

You don't want dogs in your garden? That's absolutely fine. Not everyone likes dogs. The simple solution is to keep the gates closed. I'm sure the postman will be able to figure out how to let himself in if need be...

Dramatic much 🙄

HaroldsSocalledBluetits · 16/09/2018 02:40

No, not everyone likes dogs. Which is why tosspot owners should keep the fucking things under control. But they don't, because loads of them are entitled arseholes, so you need to find a way of keeping them out, OP, so you're going to have to do something you don't really want to.

straightjeans · 16/09/2018 10:25

The dogs are bonding through your gesture because the scents of all the other dogs. Must be like a party for their nose.

annikin · 16/09/2018 10:33

Yadnbu it's your garden, your property. You should not need to be inconveniently shutting and opening a gate because a dog is out of control. Owners, if you can't control your dog, it should be on a lead. We used to have a dog, and this was rule number 1.

annikin · 16/09/2018 10:36

Or having to buy new gates to be able to open and shut them! I never used to let our dog onto other people's property and any responsible dog owner would say the same.

CageyBee · 16/09/2018 10:37

Surely your energy would be better spent closing the gate than typing on Mumsnet.

DingDongDenny · 16/09/2018 10:42

We are in a very similar position. We also live on a lane which lots of dog walkers use and several dogs have run into our back garden (round the side of the house which is open access)

Twice they have chased our cats and this resulted in one cat having a stress reaction which nearly killed them and cost £2,000 in vet fees

So far all you dog lovers - keep your dogs on a lead if you can't control them and stop them running into people's gardens. It's not up to us to dog proof our gardens

adaline · 16/09/2018 10:50

If you don't want dogs in your garden, get gates or a fence to keep them out. You can't have an open garden and complain there are animals in it!

luckylavender · 16/09/2018 10:52

OP - the only answer is to shut the gates. It's a little bloody minded not to.

DingDongDenny · 16/09/2018 10:53

If you don't want dogs in your garden, get gates or a fence to keep them out. You can't have an open garden and complain there are animals in it!

So you are saying that everyone has to dog proof their gardens so dog owners don't have to keep their dogs under control

MonoClue · 16/09/2018 11:00

I’d be more concerned about my daughter running into the road if the garden isn’t secure than dogs running in. So for that reason I’d shut the gates.

Kaykay06 · 16/09/2018 11:11

Totally understand why you don’t want random dogs in your garden neither would I, we recently had a runaway dog in ours and it was very mouthy and jumpy and my kids (we are a doggy family) were really upset as it scratched them etc it was just too much.
It wouldn’t go away so I shut it in the shed (we are near a main road) and called my eldest son who actually recognised it and went to find it’s owner by knocking some doors came back with its lead and took it home. It was totally calm and obedient for him weirdly. But my small kids were quite upset. My back gate is now fixed to avoid a repeat of this scenario. The postman etc manages to open and close it fine as do visitors etc.

Perhaps a pain but my priorities are my kids so the gate would be closed no matter how inconvenient it is for the postman. There will always be owners who have well trained dogs who can recall but there will also be those who just don’t care what their dog does and let it run about mad and think everyone should like it.

I have a golden retriever, he is massive but doesn’t approach people or dogs and comes back when called, a dog his size running up to a small or scared child would be horrible (he is friendly) but that doesn’t matter, my 7 year old doesn’t really like dogs other than mine my sisters and my mums.

ShadowsInTheDarkness · 16/09/2018 11:13

We also live on a rural lane used by dog walkers. We have gates across the entryway and I did start shutting them a while back but its really inconvenient. DH is self employed and pops home for tools/food several times a day. That was several instances of me running outside opening one gate, opening the other and then shutting again. Then opening again so he could leave. Or he had to leave car sitting in the lane blocking it, while he got out and opened the gate which held up the tractors trying to get past and caused the farmer to huff and puff and generally made everyone a bit irritated and fed up. Much much easier if the dog walkers put their dogs on leads, especially as farm traffic is heavy along this stretch of lane with lorries going past regularly from dawn til sundown.

Its not ideal but our solution has been to install secondary gates at the side of the house so that any dogs running in cant get into the back garden where our hens, cats and rabbits are and the DC tend to play out the back now.

AimlesslyPurposeful · 16/09/2018 11:15

This is bizarre.

Dogs wander into my garden and frighten my DD who is nervous around dogs. I’ve got gates but I don’t want to shut them.

Goodness what a predicament. What to do? Hmm.

Build a moat? Install infrared lasers that shock anything with four legs approaching your property. Or what about snipers on the roof?

Shut the gates when your DD is in the garden.

MorningsEleven · 16/09/2018 11:48

Goodness what a predicament. What to do?

I feel like the answer is staring us in the face.

Boopboopb · 16/09/2018 11:52

It's not just dogs though is it? What about foxes or other wildlife wandering in? Or your kids wandering out?

I'm sure the postman can manage to open a gate.
Or get a Post box at the end of the garden.

So is this a new MN thing?
When someone's asks a question and the answer is right there?
"JUST SHUT THE GATE!" Grin

Armi · 16/09/2018 12:05

Right. So opening and closing the gates is inconvenient. Having dogs racing around everywhere is inconvenient. Life is full of inconvenience. Pick the one you can put up with.

Start saving for electric gates, then you won’t have to keep opening and closing them. Or move.

HisBetterHalf · 16/09/2018 12:06

legislation says dogs should be under control. Wandering into someone garden is not under control

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