Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To teach my child to read before school?

74 replies

MagnaDoodle · 15/09/2018 20:34

Mixed feedback on this one from various friends and family so thought I’d ask!
My DD1 is 3.5 and is winter born so we have the option of school next year or the following year (we are in Scotland). So far we are thinking we will send her next year at 4.5 (and her nursery is absolutely supporting this decision) but it’s early days and my mind is still open.

She loves her books. We read three books a night. Just Julia Donaldson and similar. She seems to have a good understanding of them and what’s going on etc. There are certain, favourite books that she knows pretty much by heart.

I think she wants to read. She is interested in letters and will ask me to read signs etc to her when we are out and about. She’s learning the alphabet at nursery and we have a couple of little games that we play at home to help her to get to know the letters. She’s very enthusiastic about this.

She’s also really keen to write her name which we have practised a few times but with limited success. She gets fed up with trying quite quickly and I don’t push her. She does however recognise her name and can spell it out with fridge magnets correctly.

Nursery have said that in the year before school they focus more on the social aspect of getting her ready for it. Which is absolutely the way it should be. They do the alphabet and some number work but not much. It’s not their priority.

My mum, teacher friends etc all tell me not to teach her to read before school. She will be bored for a year etc etc. This makes sense to me. But at the same time I feel like I should encourage her interest.

Any words of advice? Please don’t mistake me for a weird, pushy helicopter parent. I’m not. I love that she loves books but it doesn’t put me up not down whether she learns to read before school. It’s just that she’s keen.

OP posts:
FuzzyCustard · 15/09/2018 21:16

All my three were fluent readers when they started school. The teachers picked up on that extremely soon and they weren't bored. It was nothing but a good thing. They all loved it...all those books to be enjoyed without having to wait!

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 15/09/2018 21:17

What’s boring about being able to read when you are at school? They can access so much more and be more independent once they can read.

Most schools spend about 30 minutes a day on phonics. Granted they may find this mildly tiresome but not in a good school which sets children for phonics early. The rest of the day is far better accessed once you can read.

I would look at the Jolly Phonics songs on You Tube as an excellent start to teaching reading.

JupiterBelle · 15/09/2018 21:17

She needs to learn her sounds to read so start with letters e.g. c (cuh) a (as in the a from Apple) b (buh) etc.

When she starts recognising more letters she can start to put them together to make words ( at, an, sat, Cat etc).

Some tricky words she’ll need to learn by sight (the, of, etc)

There are videos online that’s show you how to pronounce sounds correctly for reading (jolly phonics, alphablocks) that might help her.

disappearingninepatch · 15/09/2018 21:18

She needs to learn her sounds to read so start with letters e.g. c (cuh) a (as in the a from Apple) b (buh) etc. but without the 'uh'.

Soontobe60 · 15/09/2018 21:19

A child who is able to read before they start in Reception will NOT be bored! Do people think all they do in Reception is learn to read? They learn soooo much more!

Fatted · 15/09/2018 21:27

There's no harm in making a start and see how she gets on. We started teaching eldest to read before he started nursery school (3). He learned the alphabet and was able to point out some words etc while out and about. But nothing too strenuous. He also hated writing until he started school!

DS2 is 3 now, just starting nursery school and not interested in the slightest so we've not really pushed it with him. He loves sitting with his brother having him read to him which is so sweet!

EleanorLavish · 15/09/2018 22:10

CBEEBIES have a great show called Alphablocks which mine littlest loved.

Feenie · 15/09/2018 22:17

Some tricky words she’ll need to learn by sight (the, of, etc)

The advice has never been to read tricky words by sight. Letters and Sounds, now thirteen years old, says that you should teach them by reading the sounds from left to right, explaining the tricky 'bit', which just usually means a sound they haven't yet been taught.

It's a common misconception to assume they should be taught by sight, or that they are somehow non-decodable.

agnurse · 15/09/2018 22:49

YANBU. If she wants to read, let her!

I came home from Kindergarten (Reception equivalent in North America) one day totally disgusted because they weren't going to teach us how to read. My dad pulled out the old readers that we had and taught me himself. I wasn't bored at school!

The funny thing is, about 25 years earlier my dad had done something similar. When he was a child they didn't have Kindergarten/Reception - the kids just went for a one-week orientation at the end of the year before they started Grade 1 in the fall. Dad came home at the end of the week and announced to Grandma that school wasn't much good because they hadn't learned how to read yet Grin

Reading is SO incredibly important because it will allow her to do better in other subjects, too. I'm still an insatiable bookworm today, just as I was as a child!

MagnaDoodle · 15/09/2018 23:08

This is great thank you!

I just looked up the Alphablocks on YouTube and think she would enjoy that so I will try it tomorrow and see how we get on.

OP posts:
MaggieSimpsonsPacifier · 15/09/2018 23:11

Reading this with interest thanks all, as my DC is 3 and asking what words say/remembering some words. I’d love to teach her and get her excited about reading, but I am nervous that I would teach her incorrectly, and make it harder for her to learn once at school, or that she could be bored.

I was a very young reader (but my mother was an infant teacher, so knew how to do it!), and I don’t remember it bringing me any more than compliments and much more interesting books. But that could be very rose tinted spectacles!

ThistleAmore · 15/09/2018 23:20

I have no children, so perhaps I don't get part of this, but...why would you not teach a child to read? It's a life skill. It's like refusing to teach a child to swim at four because they won't live near a river until they're six.

I was a 'precocious reader': I could read (and write) fluently by the time I returned to the UK from Singapore, where I was brought up, at the age of four, and was considerably more literate than my peers by the time I started school.

I suppose I might have been a bit bored for a while, but it's never held me back - quite the opposite.

Again, why would you NOT encourage your children to read or write? This baffles me.

StripyHorse · 15/09/2018 23:21

If your child is ready for reading then don't shy away from it (equally don't force a pre-schooler who isn't ready). I would recommend looking at phonics pronunciation on you tube as it helps with blending (sounding out letters to make words) if you say the phonetic sounds 'properly' I.e. without the 'uh' sound after consonants.

DD2 loved the ladybird phonics book before she started school and learned most of the letter sounds from looking at it. Otherwise read loads to your child, talk about the story and the pictures, let them 'read books to you (no matter how different to the original story their version may be). This all helps with their reading comprehension.

IamPickleRick · 15/09/2018 23:34

My DS learned to read before school just by being read to, we didn’t actively teach him. I was exactly the same and remember thinking wtf is all this phonics stuff, it must be for babies because that word very obviously says duck or whatever.

When he started school, he could read anything, but because he couldn’t explain the phonics method behind it ie list digraphs and trigrams, he was pretty much taught as a non reader. It wasn’t boring for him because he lapped up reading and we used to let him read whatever he wanted at home, and the teacher would give him proper books as “homework” because she understood that it was basic for him and a few others in the class, but until the method had been covered they were reluctant to say officially that he could read at all.

IamPickleRick · 15/09/2018 23:35

Trigraphs*

Starlight345 · 15/09/2018 23:46

I was going to suggest jolly phonics and alphablocks.

My Ds could read before he started school . I would say the comprehension is as important as reading the words. Ask questions relate the words to picture.

I would say reading is far more beneficial than writing . Writing you may have to unlearn if not formed correctly . Activities to strengthen fine motor skills , play doh , painting , colouring are great.

JustlikeDevon · 15/09/2018 23:47

I'm an early years person and I die a little inside of exasperation every time someone bangs on about fucking phonics.
Phonics is ONE WAY to learn to read. Reading with an interested parent is another. The best kind of reading is an amalgamation of everything. Your child is ready and interested, go for it. They will be in no way compromised.

JustlikeDevon · 15/09/2018 23:49

Oh and having read a pp. Writing is NOT a literacy skill. Spelling is. Writing is a f8ne motor task. Teach spelling- m u m is mum! Don't teach how to handwrite it unless dc is an early writer. Spelling as a tiny is fine.

ThistleAmore · 15/09/2018 23:54

Reading with an interested parent is another.

This is exactly how I learned to read - growing up in a house full of books, with adults who read for fun and who read to and with me.

It was natural that I wanted to learn how to do it by myself as quickly as possible!

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 15/09/2018 23:58

I learned to read well before school. My library record shows I was 2 when I got my card and started borrowing books and I'm pretty sure I was fluent by 3 as I remember reading books in the reading corner at playgroup. It didn't leave me bored at all, I just read 2 or 3 levels ahead and I was crap at maths so I used the extra time to work on that.

If she is keen to learn then encourage it. Don't worry about teaching her the wrong way. There are lots of ways to learn to read. Phonics is something I absolutely hate, I feel like it's confusing and teaching them wrong. Like you teach them a rule but then you tell them that most of the time, that rule doesn't apply. What was the bloody point then? Not all words are decodable, some you do have to recognise on sight and most don't sound the same as they are spelt. I think it just gives them more work later when they have to rectify their spelling.

roadrunner11 · 16/09/2018 00:01

Just remember children develop at different stages.

Beeziekn33ze · 16/09/2018 00:15

Magna - I'm surprised your teacher friends aren't encouraging, are any of them infant teachers? Some great ideas and support on here.
Julia Donaldson's books are great, DD might also like the whacky rhymes in the Dr Seuss books. Do you have a local library where she can choose books?
I found the Oxford Reading Tree 'Read at Home' series of books useful, the whole set was very cheap online from The Book People. It includes a parents' handbook you might find useful and some of the books specifically support phonics.
The most important thing is that you have a child who loves books, enthusiastic children often soon pick up reading just by enjoying them and asking questions. Fun always helps learning imho!

todayiwin · 16/09/2018 00:27

Jolly Phonics is what they teach in schools now

ThistleAmore · 16/09/2018 00:36

OP - do you and your partner or other children read for fun? Do you have books around the house as a matter of course?

Is it normal, in your house, to sit around reading and read to each other, even if it's just the odd sentence or para from a book or magazine or newspaper article?

Feenie · 16/09/2018 00:54

Phonics is something I absolutely hate, I feel like it's confusing and teaching them wrong. Like you teach them a rule but then you tell them that most of the time, that rule doesn't apply. What was the bloody point then? Not all words are decodable, some you do have to recognise on sight and most don't sound the same as they are spelt. I think it just gives them more work later when they have to rectify their spelling.

I think you're thinking of one sound, one spelling as phonics, which it absolutely is not. Children start learning very early on, and certainly by year one, that sounds in English have more than one spelling, and accept it readily and quickly. All words are decodable, if we teach them the code, and good phonics teaching carries on at least to the end of Y6, and is an excellent method to learn spelling. All the latest research points to explicit phonics teaching as being the most successful and efficient way of teaching reading. Brain research has found that even as adults, we read using sounds, not whole words, albeit so rapidly that we don't register it.